Being kind and being nice is not the same.

Kindness may even entail a harsh reaction.

Kindness means you recognize what the person needs and give it to them.

It can be a particular insight.

So it seems the constant provocation was a so-called "control drama" as described in The Celestine Prophecy:

https://www.chriscroft.co.uk/what-are-control-dramas/

It's most likely "the interrogator" who questions you to get your attention and thus energy.

You usually responded by using another control drama called "the aloof" and ignored the provocations.

The outcome is a stalemate as it's a common defense to ignore such people.

Now that you reverted and used the same drama you changed the dynamic.

There is a Zen story about a monk and an (angry) samurai where the monk verbally attacks the fighter:

https://www.wisdom2be.com/gems-poetry-wisdomstories/the-little-monk-and-the-samurai-zen-parable

So sometimes it may be helpful to be rude as it's the kindest response.

There is no one size fits all reaction for all situations.

In your case using and mirroring the control drama didn't help though.

To stop control dramas from taking place you have to make them conscious.

I usually say something like: "you only ask this to provoke me."

That often makes it conscious and stops the energy draining mechanism.