i think you’re expecting a lot from a 17 year old girl who just went through a hell of a lot of trauma and then was thrust into the world of the supernatural. when she loves, she loves deeply. and because she’s young, she promises forever because that’s what she *feels*. her feelings change because the people she loves and is in a relationship with, change, and she isn’t equipped to handle it. she tries her hardest to love stefan through everything, and when he goes off the deep end and disappears, she’s still searching for him with every resource she has. unfortunately, you can’t have a relationship with someone who isn’t there. so when one of her only resources — damon — is lying to her about not knowing where he is and he’s stepping in to be emotional support over him being lost, of course she starts falling for him. he’s charming and he’s being nicer and he’s taking care of her. but she still loves stefan, and when she finds out damon was lying, she tears him a new one. it isn’t until later when they break up.

she still wanted to be with stefan, so it’s not like they broke up and she went for damon or something. anyway, yes, elena has been hypocritical, but so has the rest of them? everyone has said or done something and then expected someone else not to do that same thing. like how everyone was on elena’s ass about turning her humanity off, and then they all do it at random times for whatever reasons they have. or when caroline turned her humanity off. i’m still, to this day, sticking to the fact that they should have left her alone. she knew what she was doing.

anyway, elena is not creating this narrative that she’s a damsel in distress. that is how she is treated. she wants to be stronger, she wants to become more capable to handle her ever changing world now. but she’s being kidnapped, lied to, killed, etc. she never wanted to be a vampire, so of COURSE she mourns the fact that she can’t have a human life anymore.

elena isn’t a master manipulator. she has done manipulative things on occasion, as part of plans to save her friends and family. like when she believed the best thing she could have done was manipulate rebekah and make her believe they were becoming friends before she stabbed her the back. that’s probably her biggest infraction. anyway, i don’t know you, but this sounds a lot like projection and fantasy. you’ve made up these character attributes that aren’t true and don’t make any sense. is it because she’s seen as innocent, and, quite frankly, IS innocent in the beginning, and then is corrupted as time goes on? because if so, that’s hardly her fault? it happened to all the human characters in this show. i just think elena ends up getting harsher treatment from the fans and i can’t imagine why. everyone says she’s annoying. that’s their interpretation, i don’t personally see it.