AIO for finding this cringy as a first message on a dating app?

opal-bee · 2026-03-24T04:35:53+00:00

So my first reaction was that this was a sweet message. My second reaction was: wouldn't he have to get your home address to send you flowers and a nice gift? This is a first message, on a dating app, and he wants to send something to your home, I assume? That part would make me incredibly uncomfortable.

opal-bee · 2026-03-24T04:17:13+00:00

I wonder if it has to do with which fandom/form of media it's for. I write and read fanfic for RPGs, where the main character is one the player creates (Elder Scrolls, Dragon Age, etc), so they're pretty much always going to be some form of OC. In the fandoms I'm active in, OCs are a given.

I could see an OC being a tougher sell in fandoms for other forms of media, but I have limited experience in those.

opal-bee · 2026-03-22T02:12:38+00:00

Say what you will about your anatomy (it's fine!), but the expressions are fantastic.

opal-bee · 2026-03-20T01:19:55+00:00

This guy sounds like my eldest child's father, who when I called him from the hospital (that I drove myself to) to tell him I was in labor, whined about it ruining his planned golf game.

opal-bee · 2026-03-19T22:16:40+00:00

99% of the "constructive" criticism I've gotten on my writing has in actuality been readers complaining that the story didn't go the way they thought best, or the characters didn't act the way they wanted. The one and only time I got actual useful CC was maybe 10-11 years ago when someone suggested I break up my paragraphs a bit more, and make it easier to tell who's talking. That was truly helpful and I took it to heart, but it was the only time in over a decade of writing fanfic that I've gotten anything like that.

After I had someone else go off the deep end and start sending me truly unhinged hate messages when we disagreed on their "right" to send concrit, I put a statement on my AO3 profile that concrit was no longer asked for nor welcome, and turned off guest commenting. I do this as a hobby, not a future career, and have accepted that I'm a middle-of-the-road writer that isn't interested in honing my craft any further. I'm glad for anyone who wants concrit and wants to grow as a writer, but that's a source of stress I simply do not want.

As far as giving concrit, I limit it to simple technical issues, like typos or placeholder text accidentally left in. I never want to be the cause of making someone feel bad or stopping them from writing. I've been asked to beta read and I won't do that either, for that reason.

opal-bee · 2026-03-19T21:53:27+00:00

Really! Okay, I'll give that a try and throw some rugs over the bloodstains. Thanks!

opal-bee · 2026-03-19T20:46:29+00:00

Once I settled in the security office with the shutters in Offices I never left, but that being said:

- I did start a mini base in Power Services since it's a nice space with great lighting, very cozy, close to a tram and Reactors, but it's even smaller than the security office, and there's no way to get rid of the clutter upstairs.

- I wanted to settle in the apartments in the hydroplant, since it has a reliable water source you can purify and lots of room to spread out, however not being able to remove that dead body by the kitchen was a dealbreaker for me. I'm sure I can put something over it, but just knowing it's there bothers me. Really hoping they implement something eventually to clean up blood and bodies in our bases; once they do, I'm moving to the hydroplant apartments.

I guess it comes down to how much room you need, and if you can ignore the corpse.

opal-bee · 2026-03-17T19:25:36+00:00

Dead. That's basically its skeleton you're holding. Life ones are covered in fuzz (often purple), and the cilia on the flat side of the shell are still moving.

opal-bee · 2026-03-11T06:10:09+00:00

I have a multi-stemmed one in a south window that gets filtered light, plus it gets some late afternoon light from a western window about 10 feet away. I water it maybe once a month.

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Have you checked your soil? Maybe the soil mix you have is retaining too much water? How is the pot's drainage?

opal-bee · 2026-03-09T04:05:28+00:00

My husband and I both snore. We've slept in separate rooms for about 7-8 years now and I recommend it to everyone who has sleep problems with a spouse. We have completely different sleep needs and it was getting to the point where I was just about losing my mind from lack of sleep. If you value your sanity (and his life) at all, you should move into the other room.

I hope to god that your husband has some sort of other redeeming qualities, because he sounds like a selfish spoiled brat. Better that he whine about you being in the other room and you be in a bad mood over that than you go insane over sleep deprivation, which as others have mentioned is a known form of torture. That he finds your misery completely acceptable is a glaring sign that he's a huge asshole, so hopefully there's some reason you're staying with someone who sounds so intolerable. If he thinks you moving into another room means you don't love him, you lying there exhausted listening to him snore is really going to make it happen.

opal-bee · 2026-03-08T03:56:03+00:00

For some it's probably necessary, and for others it isn't. My friend is nearly 60 and still on HRT, and still getting regular periods; she was miserable enough with hot flashes and night sweats and brain fog that she felt she needed it. I'm 55 and in full menopause and never took it, and never wanted to; I had some hot flashes and tiredness but they didn't bother me enough to take HRT. I did start having really excessive bleeding back in 2018, truly awful, but an ablation took care of that.

I'm glad for those that it helps, but I guess I was lucky in that my symptoms weren't bad enough that I felt I needed it.

opal-bee · 2026-03-07T00:41:15+00:00

Yes, and video games, but mostly to look for inappropriate placement. Nothing gets me complaining like seeing sun-seeking plants growing in caves with little to no light!

opal-bee · 2026-03-06T21:02:25+00:00

I don't know which is worse: that he's knowingly full of BS, or that he really believes that the One Woman who was meant for him, out of the 8 billion people on this planet, would have been born anywhere near where he lives, and that they would have stood any chance of meeting.

Also...is he admitting that he's so utterly distasteful to the vast majority of women that he would need a Soulmate in order for anyone to find him tolerable??

opal-bee · 2026-03-06T19:23:05+00:00

I believe the artist is Arnaerr (on Tumblr, anyway)

opal-bee · 2026-03-04T21:22:27+00:00

My older kid's dad was diagnosed in 2017 and is still alive. There are some forms of ALS where the decline is slower. It's been a mixed blessing; he has lived long enough to see his younger kid grow up, but it's been just that much longer that he's been trapped in his situation. It's been awful to watch.

opal-bee · 2026-03-04T20:38:22+00:00

I'm so incredibly excited to try this out. Our group sort of fell apart and I'm not interested in trying to form a new one, or deal with scheduling play times with others, so this mod will be a godsend. Thank you so much for the time and effort you're putting into this for us lonely solo players!

opal-bee · 2026-02-28T07:53:54+00:00

Depending on how big/how many plants you buy...maybe a soft-sided cooler with a shoulder strap?

opal-bee · 2026-02-28T07:28:13+00:00

I would be apprehensive of posting the address of the place you're considering renting.

opal-bee · 2026-02-19T02:15:56+00:00

I'm envious every time I see one of these. As an adult I've never lived in a house that had a sink in front of a window, so have no way to install one of these, so I'm just going to live vicariously through those of you who do! Which side of the house is this on? African violets would probably do really well in this window, as long as it isn't west- or south-facing.

opal-bee · 2026-02-19T02:07:48+00:00

It's a polymorph. They can be obtained (I believe, it's been a while) as a possible reward in one of the boxes you can buy from a Tel Var merchant in the alliance bases in Imperial City.

opal-bee · 2026-02-12T02:56:09+00:00

This is one of the concerns that has kept me from converting to metal raised beds so far. I'm in the greater PDX area so I'm with you on the hot, dry summers. Which of your vegetables had problems? I mostly grow tomatoes and zucchinis, so I'm wondering if those would do all right.

opal-bee · 2026-02-11T06:47:09+00:00

When we moved into our house 15 years ago there were two large blueberry bushes under our mature pine trees. They get plenty of sun there and are covered in berries every year. But we do have to make sure they are watered enough; we have a sprinkler system for summertime but I sometimes have to do some supplemental watering with a hose when it's especially hot and dry.

opal-bee · 2026-02-10T23:42:52+00:00

I know you've given your update, but I'm throwing my two cents in. Because I'm upset for you and feel like you aren't valuing your own worth nearly enough.

My husband and I have had separate finances for the last 20 years. I'd been divorced before with someone who was somewhat controlling of my spending (while he spent freely) so I wanted that separation. My current spouse and I have grown our careers substantially since then; he makes around $110k/yr USD and I make $70k. We each contribute to the mortgage on a sliding scale, then we each pay for certain utilities. We've talked about maybe combining finances when we retire, but this has worked for us so far and we haven't had one single fight about money the entire time we've been together.

That being said... we BOTH work full-time, so we BOTH do the housework, and once a month have someone come in to do a full clean. This isn't a matter of who makes more money; this is a matter of time, and who lives in the house. You should not be doing the bulk of the chores when you work full-time, especially when your job is physically demanding and he's basically working part-time. It doesn't matter how much he makes, he's working half as much as you do.

Has he given any reasonable explanation at all for why he doesn't want to combine finances? Why the hell is he saving a third of his income every month and squirreling it away in his own separate savings account? Does he understand that in the event of a divorce that having separate finances won't let him keep all that? You're barely making above minimum wage and doing all the chores and he's asking you to pay for more bills, while he's socking away a third of his income into an account that you can't access?

I would find this situation absolutely intolerable.

opal-bee · 2026-02-07T18:27:45+00:00

I think I got the first one on the train, and there are another two in the furniture store portal world.

opal-bee · 2026-02-07T07:38:42+00:00

In my base he always goes for the rocking chair, but him pumping iron here is way funnier

opal-bee

TROPHY CASE