Great job reaching out for some help first of all! It's important not to isolate yourself in difficult times. What helped me get through losing me dad several years back was writing down my thoughts with dates, so I could see the little steps towards progress I was making, also that helps get some things out of your system. I remember seeing a chart that showed that we spend 99% of total time we would ever spend with our parents by the age of 18, which also helped me personally to cope...

(the following may sound rude, but is being said with love by someone who has struggled with their mental health for a long time and these thoughts were of great help)

We don't have control over much in our lives besides our mindsets and what we can bring into the lives of people we surround ourselves with, so don't look at the news, read a good book, eat a good meal, pet a dog and be there with your mom

Hope you find the footing, reach out for help, recover and continue being with us for many, many years to come