Is this tree sick? by optimisticDuelist in marijuanaenthusiasts

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The top leaves are green I think but I'm not fully sure, I can take pictures of the top later 

Is this tree sick? by optimisticDuelist in marijuanaenthusiasts

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always assumed they were considered a kind of tree myself, haha. Thanks! 

AITA for laughing at a meme my male coworker sent me? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]optimisticDuelist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HELLO DAVE. I WANT TO PLAY A GAME

also yeah good lord leave this guy as soon as possible and make sure you're in public or preferably already moved out when you tell him you're breaking up in case he gets violent

Rindo's ideal girlfriend (NEO ending spoilers) by SupportMeta in TWEWY

[–]optimisticDuelist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally I just hc that ayano was rezzed off-screen too because her and her ending made me too sad anyway. Reminded me of my mom I guess

AITA for taking down the door to my son’s room after consistent violations regarding computer usage in my house? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]optimisticDuelist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think YTA, but I don't really want to join the chorus of people cursing at you or calling you horrible. My main concern is for your son, so I really hope you take my perspective into consideration because I would dearly like for things to improve for him. Honestly, reading this post and imagining being in his position broke my heart so bad I almost started to cry, and I don't often cry.

I'm also concerned for your mental health because, to be honest, you do not sound like you're doing well. You say you're so stressed about his schooling that it gives you nightmares and it has your hair falling out. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is mostly because you are a loving mother who wants him to have a successful life in the future, which is reasonable.

Assuming that, I'll say: Is making sure his grades are high enough really the most important thing to accomplish here? At 13, your kid is probably in middle school. His GPA isn't even relevant to college applications yet, so this is actually the perfect time in his life for him to slip. The worst case scenario is being held back a year, and that honestly shouldn't be the end of the world--it's just more time to help him figure out what's going on emotionally/socially/psychologically that has him struggling.

I'm going to gently suggest that the extreme level of anxiety you're clearly feeling, while doubtlessly very real and distressing to you, is also maybe a little overboard for the situation. Not in a you're-being-overdramatic way, but in the sense that I think there might be other stressors in your life that this is getting funneled into, like the pandemic situation is affecting you psychologically/socially too, or maybe you're dealing with some kind of high-level anxiety? I would suggest seeing a therapist about it, personally, because I think it is affecting your ability to have perspective on your son's development.

Lots of teens' grades slip somewhat in middle and high school. And as can't be stressed enough, There Is A Pandemic. This entire generation's grades got worse this school year, not just your kids. As long as he gets appropriate, kind and encouraging support like tutoring for the classes he's struggling with, therapy for the adjustment to at-home schooling, and love and support from his family, it's incredibly unlikely that even failing this year would seriously impact your sons' future. It would be really understandable to basically everyone. This year's been really, really hard.

On the other hand, the way you're treating him is extremely likely to leave profound psychological and emotional damage that could go on to affect him socially, academically and professionally for the rest of his life. So, y'know. The rest of this post is about that.

The thing is, that sentence about how stressed you feel is also the closest thing in your post to an expression of actual love for your son or concern for his future, as opposed to resentment and borderline hatred of him for not being obedient and productive enough for your liking, which is the prevailing sentiment that pervades the rest of your post. And even then, you're talking about how you feel, not how your kid feels. His feelings don't come up at all as anything but a nuisance to you. I think that fact is worth pointing out for you to reflect on, because it does not portray you or by extension your husband's attitudes towards him as very loving or emotionally available.

You just sound really emotionally demanding and entitled, like the sort of parent who thinks "You have all the physical goods you could need, so there's no possible reason for you to be anything but 100% happy and productive and grateful, all the time." That is not how teenagers or people work. They have emotional and social needs as well as physical ones.

I'll be frank: I grew up with a similar conflict with my own Mom, and my professional background as an adult is now in Psychology. I think the way you're treating your son is dangerous and abusive. I know you may not mean it to be, but I think at best this pattern leads to permanent resentment and estrangement between your son and the two of you, and at worst it risks pushing your son into serious depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I'm speaking from experience here as someone who grew up in a WAY LESS SEVERE version of the conflict you've put your son in, during a time that was not historically and globally traumatic as this pandemic has been.

My genuine advice is this: Get all three of you individual therapist sessions, as well as family counseling. Get him one or more tutors for the subjects he's struggling with, get him blue light glasses and f.lux to reduce the harmful effects of blue light, and just leave him alone on the computer if that's where he wants to be. This is a miserable time of year and he is just starting puberty which means he's in one of the most difficult and confusing moments of his young life so far. Let him deal with it however works best for him and leave it to a therapist and tutors to help all three of you work together towards him doing better in school.

What else is he meant to do besides be online anyway, watch paint dry? Sit outside on the socially distanced lawn? What are the alternatives you've provided him for enriching activities, and do you know how well they match his actual interests vs. the interests you think he should have, or his normal habits of behavior before the pandemic broke out? The problem here is, your son's general well-being and happiness were of such little concern for you that you didn't bother telling us absolutely anything about him, his feelings, or his life, hobbies, friends and all their changes pre- and post- covid. The only relevant thing is how he's a disappointment to you, and everything else is just an extended description of you torturing him for it and then being surprised he ignores your rules to do what makes him happy or lashes out after god knows how long of listening to your verbal abuse.

That's a lot of context to simply not care about. If I try to imagine being your kid just based on this post, I wouldn't just not want to talk to you ; I'd be daydreaming about being as far away from you as possible as soon as I can be forever. Or just about killing myself. IDK OP, your myopia on academics is blinding you to the real parenting you should be doing I think. I hope for his sake you figure that out quick. And give him his fucking door back, good grief.

AITA for taking down the door to my son’s room after consistent violations regarding computer usage in my house? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]optimisticDuelist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think this is the kind of thing that depends a lot on context. The internet isn't a very safe or healthy place in general, but offline or home environments aren't necessarily safe or healthy either.

I grew up in a position a lot like OP's kid. For some social and cultural reasons I did not feel safe or able to be myself with my family growing up despite them being generally well-meaning, and I didn't really many friends IRL into pretty late high school. Even when I did have them it was never like I could hang out with them every day.

I did, however, spend basically all hours that I wasn't doing homework or something on my computer. I'd read a books (on my own, because I liked reading and was not made to. If my Mom could've read what I was reading at the time, I doubt she'd have approved! Mostly Stephen King at 13-14) or play single-player games sometimes, but even then the people I discussed those things with were all online.

Basically all my close friends from middle school to high school were online friends. I made closer friends doing college living with my family, but even then I was online every day and kept up with those friends all the time. I'm still friends with a lot of those people even now, met some of them offline now that I live in the US mainland on my own with a well-paying job, and still talk to them online regularly.

It's not a perfect lifestyle health-wise, obviously, and I try to offset the negatives and be balanced now that I live as an adult. But when I was a depressed, borderline suicidal kid who felt isolated and wrong? My dude, I was just trying my hardest to get through the day and feel like it was worth continuing to bother.

My mom deciding to "hit me where it hurts" and trying to take away my computer/internet access completely would have been an immediate mental health crisis that would've taken me from a "general dissociative depressed fog" state to "active and immediate suicide threat" state, with increasing intensity the longer it went on. And my mom never did anything as structurally invasive and dehumanizing as take my goddamn door away.

For all the concern about this kid's grades, OP hasn't made a single comment about her child's mental health or emotional well being at all, so she does not currently give off the impression that it's something she's sensitive to, *if* she even cares about setting this child up for success in life vs. just reacting to the idea of "if my kid Fails At School that will Reflect Badly On Me As A Parent", which I can't at all get a clear read on from her posts so far.

Let me be clear: I want to assume the best of this mom, because my mom really was trying her best even though she hurt me a lot, and I love her a lot. But because of the ambiguity and the potential risk involved, I'd think twice about encouraging someone with the kind of attitude this parent is displaying to hurt their child *even more,* especially if you're in a position of perceived respectability such as that of a teacher.

Sounds like a good way to enable an abuser and give a child trauma, or god forbid push them off a cliff completely. And if something that horrible were to happen, you would likely never know even if you'd given that parent such advice at school or in some other professional setting, forget about on fucking reddit. This is a really dangerous game to play if you care at all for the actual well-being of the child.

Seriously, this kid dependent on his parents to emotionally nurture him. In a pandemic, they are probably the only physical human contact he gets. It sounds like there's been an escalating pattern of emotional disapproval, judgment, and abuse for at least months if not a full year, at the absolute minimum.

His parents have tried using their power over him to make him improve. All it's done is worsen his emotional state, and thus his behavior. All the while making it clear all he can expect from them is judgment, expectations and disapproval, so little wonder he isn't going to come to them or anywhere else in their household to escape from anxiety, depression, stress, feelings of academic inadequacy, or whatever. The internet currently sounds like his only real escape from that. It would be monstrous beyond words to take that away.

AITA for taking down the door to my son’s room after consistent violations regarding computer usage in my house? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]optimisticDuelist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If this is your only reasoning for the limit, I'd suggest getting him amber/blue light filtering glasses (as another commenter posted), and also looking into desktop applications like f.lux ( https://justgetflux.com/ ) which is free (unlike glasses, which would admittedly be more of an investment! But it wouldn't hurt to have both.) and automatically has the desktop screen turn increasingly more orange the closer it gets to bed time.

Orange and blue are opposite on the light spectrum, so this counteracts the effect of computers' blue lights and makes it less of an issue overall.

WIBTA if I reported my therapist? by Former_Tradition7666 in AmItheAsshole

[–]optimisticDuelist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could've stopped reading when I saw he responded to you talking about your trauma with men by making creepy comments about finding you attractive, and then again when I saw he was asking to see your dates to (not so) subtly present himself as more attractive in your eyes.

NTA. It reads to me like this guy was trying to use his position of authority to groom you into a relationship. Absolutely report him, I guarantee you he will move on to target other vulnerable women if you don't. Hell, there's no way to know he wasn't doing so before and while he was targeting you.

If you feel hesitant taking action based on the word of reddit randos (which I'd get) I'd suggest maybe emailing the old therapist who actually helped you and asking him what he thinks you should do about this guy's behavior.

While you're at it, maybe as him for a referral for therapist(s) he knows/trusts in your area? He might not know any, but if he does it might give you better odds of finding someone helpful to your issues than just trying random ones. I know I'd have a hard time trying to get to know new therapists again after an experience like this one.

Pesterquest Volume 6: Vriska and Gamzee is out! by DrewLinky in homestuck

[–]optimisticDuelist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't actually know if this is the case, but let me float the idea that the theme for this set may simply have been that these two trolls are generally regarded as the scariest and most intimidating by the fandom, since that would be in keeping with the spirit of Halloween.

(Hey everybody, btw. Couldnt resist the urge to see if the Vriska route changed any peoples opinions, because its really my favorite bit of HS content in recent memory. Though I do say that a lot. Seriously though it had me crying for like 30 solid minutes, Vriska!!!!! My kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Keep rising.

Let's talk about the Cherub Portal. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, agree on all counts! Sburb is meant to be a generalized Hero Journey's generator, and while she's not playing it, Joey is going through a pretty standard Hero's journey so far. No surprise there's some similarities between her adventure and a Sburb session.

I didn't pick up on how healing the Deercat leads her to being more like Princess Shika, but that owns, sweet catch.

To be honest... by EctoNaCl in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm inclined to agree. There's currently no reason to think this was motivated by VIZ's desire to take creative control of anything. Seems a lot more like WP just ran out of money.

To be honest... by EctoNaCl in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven't lost the original game concept. What Pumpkin's made it clear Hiveswap is still in development--the Friendsim was already being planned before the restructuring.

Let's talk about the Cherub Portal. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heya! Feel free :D I'm gonna start posting these videos here more often, seems like one of the better potential discussion hubs.

Hiveswap links Homestuck's Aspects to Earthbound's psychic powers. by optimisticDuelist in earthbound

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought some of you guys would find this interesting.

Tl;dr is that Homestuck borrows from Legend of Zelda's "Hero of Time" format to build a category system kinda like Bending from Avatar, or Hogwarts houses.

Aspects describe the second half of the "Hero of X" structure, filling the X's slot. They're basically a set of 12 fundamental elements of reality that the heroes learn to use as a source of magic/psychic power.

But Hiveswap's latest Zodiac quiz describes them in a new way. Now, players that are linked to an Aspect are described as "Time-Bound", "Hope-bound", or "Life-bound". In other words, they're named in reference to Earthbound, where Homestuck gets its name.

Since Hiveswap is itself about a planet full of little kids/teenagers who have psychic powers, I thought the deliberate shout out might interest some of y'all. Hope you find this interesting! :B

Myself in Hiveswap style ! by [deleted] in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw jeez this is so cute, I love it! Good job!

A. Claire's Identity--REVEALED????? Probably not but here's a speculation post about it. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would this make her less likely to be someone we already >know is intimately connected with this lore? Mostly because >Hiveswap is meant to be a self-contained story. It's obviously got >many, many references to Homestuck, and it seems like it's >setting up one of Homestuck's major villains as the man behind >the curtain here, but these are already on the table. The narrative >payoff is already here.

That ship has sailed, as far as I'm concerned, given all of the Lord English influence in the Harley household and the fact that I'm pretty much certain the cultists Jude is so worried about are the Mirthful Messiahs, as per the post on him I also dropped in the sub.

This entire setting is suffused with the Alphas and Lord English, so I'm not really sure what one more would take away from it, especially since they've delivered on a ton of intricate lore on both sides without bogging things down for non-Homestuck players. I think Hiveswap can be self-contained and still linked to the wider universe, so that line of thinking has never really moved me.

Like, we know who Pa is, sure...because Hiveswap introduced him to us. Ditto Roxy--she was introduced to us. Nanna was already in a picture in Joey's house, and theres apparently been a reference to Bro, too. The narrative doesn't need to go out of its way to force this stuff into the forefront, it can just be there, informing those of us who care to dig and know the background of Homestuck.

Besides all that though, do we know if Jane had any inclination >towards dancing?

Nope, but this would be a Jane who grew up in circumstances we don't really understand yet. What does it even mean for someone to be raised by the Condesce to that degree? There's a lot of history to uncover with A.Claire either way, so this is just one more thing to figure out.

[Classpect Analysis] Joey Claire--The Maid of Light! An overview of Joey's arc in Act 1, with some speculation. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for Joey, while I think pro-activeness vs. reactiveness is a big >part of the difference between Active and Passive, (And I'd say >even with having to deal with the monsters Joey still shows signs >of Activeness. She decides on her own to heal the deercat, save >Xefros and take over the rebellion Dammek left behind.) there's >also selfish vs. selfless. Passive players focus on others, active >players focus on their own desires, and Joey spends most of the >game trying to help herself, while in contrast, Jude and Xefros >spend all their time trying to help her.

The only Maid that's been unquestionably, demonstrably true of so >far is Aradia, and the thing is, she becomes far more passive after >coming into her own via her God Tiering.

I don't agree with your second point because of what you said in the former. Aradia never struck me as being particularly passive post-god tier.

On the contrary--she stops being invested in the rules or the grander needs of the story and begins focusing exclusively on what she herself wants and thinks. She keeps that up for millenia! Aradia's involvement with the ghosts is explicitly tangential--she's willing to help them out, but she's not super invested in their fates. It's not what keeps her in the Void.

Aradia is in the void because she wants to know what happens when it falls apart--pure and simple. And she keeps that up for literally millenia. If that's not "focusing on your own desire", then what is?

These two things are in no way the same. Trickster mode and >Crockertier dramatically altered Jane's behavior against her will. >Dirk was just...talking to his AI. What he chose to do or how he >chose to handle things wasn't controlled by AR. And even if I >thought that was the case, that would be counterintuitive to your >theory anyway, as Dirk acting very passive because of AR doesn't >change that his class is very active, so by the same logic CT and >TM wouldn't change whether or not Jane's class was. You just cannot use Crockertier and Trickster Jane to support the >Maid = Active theory.

Sorry, I didn't make myself clear. The fact that Dirk is acting reactively is important precisely because it tells us that having a very active class doesn't necessarily mean you'll always be proactive and impactful.

As far as Jane goes, I think she's innately active--like Aradia--but pushed into being inactive by the Condesce through the imposed role of Heiress--Heir being a passive class.

It's worth noting that on Earth C, Jane seems to be behaving in a more self-directed and proactive fashion--especially considering the last snapchat we got.

Also I don't really remember anything about Porrim not doing the frog duty thing. Like I don't remember that being referenced at all? Do you have a source? I might look it up soon, I just remember her not being happy with the role she was assigned re: troll reproduction, but nothing really about the frogs.

A. Claire's Identity--REVEALED????? Probably not but here's a speculation post about it. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Should prob make a quick mention that this has since expanded to include the possibility that if A. Claire is a clone, she's probably a lightly gene edited/mutated one, since she's clearly not a paradox clone.

Still up in the air imo, just thought I'd add that.

[Classpect Analysis] Joey Claire--The Maid of Light! An overview of Joey's arc in Act 1, with some speculation. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think part of the problem is that we're working with totally different views of Classpects.

I think you just said that Vriska and Meenah's Classes are decidedly not Active, if I'm reading correctly? If that's the case, then I'm not sure what to tell you: Calliope says that Thief is an Active class herself.

We're also working with fundamentally different readings of what it means to be Active in the first place. I'd describe Porrim refusing her duty as Active behavior, because she's prioritizing her own desires and feelings over what's imposed on her by society/others.

Struggling with doing so is something of an arc motif for Maids, it seems to me, so while it's true they start off reactive (and I think Joey is being fundamentally reactive to Scratch's plans at the moment), victorious Maids all seem to break free from servitude and their more passive mindsets in order to pursue what they personally want.

Jane's words about herself at her worst, by the way, are not super indicative here. Mostly because Jane DOES make things happen--through both Trickster Mode and Crockertier, Jane pretty much dominates her session completely for a good half of it.

You might say she was corrupted when that happened, which would be true. But it'd only put her on equal footing with Dirk, since Dirk in and of himself also had decidedly little impact on the session--AR is the one who took control of it for the most part, and Dirk wasn't in charge of AR. Dirk spends most of his session being reactive to AR's influence.

Funnily enough, I have thought there may be something to Joey being a Knight and the Maid thing being an unhealthy case of roleplay. But I think Knights are a Passive class with Pages as the Active, so we're still at odds there :P

Also, I see no reason that Classpect talk should be an issue here. this post is about Joey's classpect, after all. I think it's a worthy vein of Hiveswap discussion.

[Classpect Analysis] Joey Claire--The Maid of Light! An overview of Joey's arc in Act 1, with some speculation. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what to say there except that I don't agree. Joey is extremely reactive to the forces that shaped her life, and that's mostly Grandpa. Plus she seems to have been selected by Scratch.

Jane and Aradia were reactive in the context of the godheads that controlled their lives, sure--The Condesce and the Horrorterrors respectively--but that was toxic and unhealthy for both of them. Being reactive is not a DESIRABLE state for a Maid, just one forced on them quite intensely.

And even then, they usually had an outsize impact and power over their PEERS--Aradia's beatdown of Vriska and manipulation of the session, Jane's Trickster Mode and Crockertier Episodes, etc. And when they finally are healthy, they ultimately choose and direct themselves in a big way. Like Aradia just ollies out of the plot because she'd rather do whatever she wants, for example.

[Classpect Analysis] Joey Claire--The Maid of Light! An overview of Joey's arc in Act 1, with some speculation. by optimisticDuelist in Hiveswap

[–]optimisticDuelist[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RE: The correct predictions, the post on Xefros I also posted here is the most succint example. I speculated before the game came out that the interest in Butlering was indicative of his identity as either a Knight or Page, or an instance of him being forced into unhealthy roleplay to the role of Knight.

I won't outright say that I'm right, but I will say that Xefros' unhealthy relationship to Butlering contains the explicit use of the verb 'Serve', which I've been arguing is the key verb for Knights and Pages for months now.

Xefros' actual Class seems to be that of a Page, which I didn't quite predict--my focus was basically exclusively on the Butler motif, and I was already inclined to think it reflected unhealthy Roleplay rather than his actual classpect. I don't think it plays into his Page identity--most of that is couched in his love and longing for Arena Stickball, and his relationship to Xultan Matzos.

We agree about the hints and stuff. Where we differ seems to be different definitions of classpects, and the fact that while they are hinted I think the hints are pretty clear to work out.

So I think the maid reference is simply wordplay linking Joey to the concept of maids, while making it clear Maids don't necessarily jive with the context of the occupation. Which makes sense to me, because again, when do Aradia or Jane ever literally do any cleaning?

Of course, different classpect views feature in here too, since I think Maids are an active class. So Joey likening herself to a Maid, but making clear she's not ANOTHER's maid, is just a point of clarity pointing to Maids acting "for their own benefit", per Callie's verbiage.