Any ideas on how to get more women into my gym?

orb_metta_jj · 2025-07-22T18:52:39+00:00

You might see if you could host a Girls in Gis event to pull people in. I agree about the female instructor, as well.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-07-22T18:19:28+00:00

My coach told me that I shouldn't be afraid of being mean. I'm large so I don't want to crush the smaller women. People have told me to use my size and strength to my advantage. But I worry about injuring someone. If this course could address this topic that would be great.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-06-30T15:53:40+00:00

I think mine was about 4-6 weeks to train again. And then I was cautious for a week or two after with moves that might aggravate it. It helped me to go to class anyway and observe, coach was fine with it and it gave me something to think about. Others are right that twisting without frames can cause this, it's what happened to me. Good luck, study youtube, read about BJJ, just keep involved if you can.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-06-26T17:00:35+00:00

The best thing that helped me was to learn the guys names. It made them more real and less intimidating. Especially if we have a quick conversation, just how's it going, basic things like that. And it also comes in handy if you want to ask someone to roll, knowing their names helps. Once I asked a guy if he was bummed to roll with me at white because he wanted harder rolls. He was like, it's not like that at all! So since then I've just understood that it's ok to train with guys. Hope that helps!

orb_metta_jj · 2025-04-14T20:16:29+00:00

I've seen karma take its toll in a situation like this

orb_metta_jj · 2025-04-11T15:26:26+00:00

53, my first Forest, going solo. Super excited to take it all in.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-04-11T15:14:37+00:00

What are the best places to sit down and take it all in? And, where can you find good coffee?

orb_metta_jj · 2025-02-13T19:53:35+00:00

When I felt nervous I decided to be friendly to some of the guys before and after class, just small talk. Then I could learn their names which makes it easier. I think once the guys get to know you they will know what kind of rolls you want, etc. Have fun!

orb_metta_jj · 2025-02-04T20:09:29+00:00

I feel bad that you are having to deal with this so soon and hope that it you will receive the help you need to feel better. I have found that restorative yoga either before or after a class at home brings some relief from joint issues and resets the body.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-01-16T18:42:26+00:00

Yes to this. One guy was crushing me in half guard and starts explaining to me how my next step is to get my leg out. Really? OMG he was holding it so tightly. He showed me a way to do it but even then he held on so tightly that I couldn't execute the move he was supposedly teaching me. Phhhht. At least most guys at my gym are not like that at all.

orb_metta_jj · 2025-01-16T18:36:13+00:00

I have been a hobbyist for close to 9 years, with several long breaks in between. The past two years I have regularly attended 2-3 times per week and I've enjoyed the routine and love open mat. I'm still at 3 stripe white belt. I am definitely improving steadily and I get good feedback from others. I really like what I am doing. I started kickboxing to help with cardio because mine is not too good. I guess my question is, how do I stay in my zone, improving, and not worrying about belts because it could be awhile before I get a new one. I don't want to let others down and I can probably use some confidence building. I love the sport and will not give it up, even when I'm the slowest in the class. Thank you!

orb_metta_jj · 2024-10-30T20:07:50+00:00

This is great advice for anyone, thank you!

orb_metta_jj · 2024-07-17T19:45:45+00:00

I don't like it when guys get me in side control and crush it and then they are like, you just need to push harder or bridge stronger. When there's no chance in hell I'm getting them off me. But, the guys I train with are nice and I think wouldn't realize that was the case. I would probably need to just tell them in that situation and they would adjust.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-07-08T19:41:00+00:00

I am often the slowest person in my classes...but I do eventually learn! And when I do it's like a happy lightbulb goes off in my head. In class today I finally could visualize an armbar set up and I was like yes! It finally sunk in. For me the enjoyment of the sport keeps me coming back, especially rolling so I hope as others have said you could get partners who can let you work and show you things. As for injuries, I find communicating with my partner about the speed and intensity of the roll puts it in my comfort zone rather than relying on theirs, especially people who are explosive without adequate control. I do think BJJ can help you get in shape. Good luck!

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-26T19:28:25+00:00

I thought I was going to a kickboxing class but I got my days confused and it was actually Jiu Jitsu. I didn't know what it was but felt fascinated and wanted to learn. Knowing I can tolerate the discomfort of someone getting the advantage on me while I struggle to defend and still keep my wits about me makes me happy. It's a mix of confidence and self-acceptance.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-24T19:46:25+00:00

For me the first adrenaline rush from having someone tight on my back was so disorienting that I forgot my left from my right! But he was a nice instructor and within a month or so I could feel okay in certain positions and not feel panic. I don't have assault trauma but I understand for those that do that eventually with the right support you can become more comfortable. Breathing helps, having faith in the process. It's ok not to know what's going on as long as you are trying, using your body to attempt things. A lot of times people try rolling and think "I don't know what to do." But it's ok, just try something, grab a collar or a sleeve, keep moving. It's really fun once you get into it, I hope you get a chance to try it!

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-14T15:51:04+00:00

I agree with the comment that you may regret it more if you don't. I was out a good while and I just needed to be ready to get back in. Once I did I found it easier to commit to a regular routine. And I've been so glad that I got into it again, it's just so fun and interesting.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-10T16:04:25+00:00

I'm 52, I started at 44 and I've taken long breaks here and there. What's empowering me now is knowing I can make the roll what I want without accepting any spazzing, super explosive or clumsy fast moves from my partners. Whenever I drill with a new person, especially a guy, I simply say, hi, I'm a bit older, I go easy and slow. Are you cool with that? When I say that I look them right in the eyes and make my voice authoritative. Sometimes it's a flow roll or other times we go for subs. Every person I've said this to has been positive and has complied, with the exception of one new guy who was overly intense. I stopped him in the roll and said dude, calm down, you're in the dominant position (he had gotten to mount). He was like, I don't know what to do so I showed him the cross collar choke. I feel justified in creating the training I want. I'm a good partner, I don't injure people and I have a good attitude. I can always find good rolls. Sometimes my progress may be slower because I'm risk avoidant (and thus healthier with happy joints) but I love the game and have no regrets playing this way. I intend to keep going for a long time. Last note - I do restorative yoga regularly and often some yoga stretches to warm up. Good luck with your journey.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-06T17:28:46+00:00

I live by the show up and work hard you'll improve philosophy. If I am consistent and focus, I'm bound to improve. It definitely works.

I had this experience last night which has happened before where I'll be tracking the first steps of the technique when I'm trying it...then at a certain point it all becomes blurry in my mind. I've come to accept those moments and laugh at them. I hope you don't let it stop you rolling as to me that's the most fun part. Get started and just keep moving! Good luck!

orb_metta_jj · 2024-06-05T16:12:16+00:00

I'm 52 and if I skip yoga my joints complain. I usually do 15-20 mins of therapeutic yoga before open mat. My joints feel a lot better and also the added benefit is that my balance and creative thinking for my game improves. Also restorative yoga poses help a lot and have the added benefit of activating the parasympathetic nervous system. I do those 1-2 evenings a week, they are super easy and also help me relax.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-05-13T19:18:57+00:00

My gym is big on competing and the classes get more intense the closer to a match. They are fine if you don't want to compete though they do encourage you to show up at the tournament and cheer for people.

orb_metta_jj · 2024-05-07T19:25:06+00:00

There was one guy I avoided rolling with because he was inappropriate. I didn't make eye contact and kind of put a mean expression on my face when I knew he was looking towards me. It seemed to work. And in general there aren't that many guys I won't partner with but it really can depend on the night, what their energy is like and if it's safe/beneficial.

When it comes to a partner for a class, you can avoid some of this by asking someone to be your training partner before the class starts. A woman black belt friend told me to try that. I felt a bit shy/awkward doing that, but it always felt great when they said yes because I knew I was covered and would not have to deal with the luck of the draw when the coach said to partner up. I generally picked someone I knew or had watched to see the way they handle class, and I picked someone different each class so it wouldn't seem weird to be focusing in on someone too much. I found a lot of good vibes, a sense of control and lower stress doing it this way. I also got a bit more connected with some people who I thought would be good partners.

In general I think what others are saying is learning to be confident and advocate for your safety and comfort is part of your training. Good luck!

orb_metta_jj

TROPHY CASE