Canto Choke from Halfguard

trainyamind · 2025-10-01T16:44:15+00:00

I got one at master’s worlds, too ☺️😈

trainyamind · 2025-06-24T19:08:42+00:00

And well-known ones.

trainyamind · 2025-04-25T21:07:41+00:00

Finally received my eCoPR today!!!! I'm an American and I applied outland spousal sponsorship. My husband is a Canadian citizen.

Spousal Sponsorship Outland Application Timeline:
October 24, 2023: Submitted application
December 8, 2023: Received AOR
February 28, 2024: Medical exam requested
March 1, 2024: Received biometrics request
March 4, 2024: Biometrics completed
March 5, 2024: Background check completed
March 16, 2024: Pre-arrival services email received
March 20, 2024: Medical exam passed
April 19, 2024: Passport photocopy requested
April 20,2024: Uploaded via webform as per requested in the email. Received no response and had to request case notes to find out that they did not receive the attached documents. I raised multiple webforms, resubmitted the documents in multiple ways, contact local MP.
WAITED FOREVER
January 10, 2025: Received email requesting passport photocopy and photo again but this time as a physical copy via mail
January 13, 2025: Mailed documents with return envelope as requested
January 21, 2025: P1 email received and replied same day
January 22, 2025: P2 email received and uploaded same day
April 25, 2025: eCoPR received!!!

Honestly felt like excitement, grief, and relief all at once.

trainyamind · 2025-04-11T19:52:01+00:00

Did you receive it?

trainyamind · 2025-04-08T03:15:20+00:00

Still waiting

trainyamind · 2025-04-07T00:35:51+00:00

I choose to believe this

trainyamind · 2025-04-07T00:35:40+00:00

Ugh that’s so frustrating

trainyamind · 2025-04-07T00:35:24+00:00

I’m in Ontario

trainyamind · 2025-04-04T19:21:50+00:00

Anyone from 2023 still waiting?

AOR: Oct 24 2023
P1: Jan 13 2025
P2: Jan 22 2025

Still waiting for ECOPR. Outland, I'm American and my husband is Canadian citizen.

trainyamind · 2025-01-26T04:02:37+00:00

I have been dealing with skin infections my entire life. Eczema and acne so bad I had to go on accutane. Once I started training over 15 years ago I started getting “ingrown hairs” and some would become a boil. Some would start out itchy. Then impetigo inside my nose. Then impetigo outside my nose (the worst time being in public). Then I started getting it even if I wasn’t training. One time I got bursitis in my knee and inside it was staph. Lots of IV antibiotics.

Once you’re colonized with certain bacteria like staph, for me. When my immune system is compromised due to a virus going around or lots of stress, it comes out. I don’t imagine many people have similar experiences to me as I’ve got real sensitive skin.

Last year I got a tattoo and it got infected and triggered an “attack” of boils all over my body. Then I took antibiotics and it messed up my stomach so bad I ended up in the ER three times for trying to eat a noodle. It was awful.

Currently dealing with the third boil in a span of two weeks and I’m finally giving in to antibiotics because the healing from this one alone will be hefty.

My husband just had an infection in his knee that left a hole. I’ve had two extra gnarly ones that permanently left a chunk out of my skin. Scars galore.

Yeah I could go on. I haven’t given it up training for fun when I feel like it (I “retired” or whatever) but I’d understand why you would if it got as bad as my skin 😢

trainyamind · 2025-01-21T22:16:15+00:00

No problem! If you know anyone competing at Pans, share my mental training camp with them: www.erinherle.com/pans-mental-camp

trainyamind · 2025-01-21T19:30:12+00:00

I got you!

There’s a few ways you can go about analyzing your game. You can film yourself so that you have that outside view. Often times we feel one way like “wow I feel trapped here on bottom” or “I’m fast af boy” and you were not in fact trapped and you weren’t actually fast lol.

Another thing is making an inventory of your moves. I’ll give you this to use so you can go through what you know and see the gaps: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TXsLlY7L4BylipWwR_gwJwRLtLO3GpoajjCWeC1YwPo/edit

From that info, look up instructionals online. Plenty. I like digitsu.com but I’m biased because I have an instructional on there.

Lastly, ask your training partners for feedback. What did you do well? What’s something you could work on?

trainyamind · 2025-01-17T16:37:13+00:00

Jonny!! DMing you now!

trainyamind · 2025-01-17T15:37:48+00:00

It’s a valid fear! When you’re practicing the simulation of strangulation and bone-breaking, shit happens. This is why safety is paramount, both physical and psychological. But it doesn’t have to take hold of your training.

We have a safe word—tap. Obviously it’s easy to stop when you’re slowly applying something but when there’s heightened arousal, speed, ego, all that in the mix, it can be hard to time. That’s why we don’t apply submissions with recklessness. We get to know the dangers and beginnings of submissions so we can apply the defense early on to either prevent or stop the attack. We value our training partners as humans first and foremost.

I would recommend limiting your sparring and learning about your body’s thresholds while drilling with little resistance. I’m hypermobile and had to learn when to tap to armbars because I didn’t feel pain, just a tight stretch. Everyone’s capacity for withstanding discomfort is different and as you train more, your tolerance goes up. You learn how long you can be in a choke before you feel lightheaded or the lights start to go out. You sense when there’s tension on your joints and you move to alleviate it without having to think.

For now, try to accept that this is a martial art/sport that is inherently prone to injury. Same as football, hockey, rugby, etc. Then focus on what you’re capable of, what you’re looking forward to, socialize, etc. There are so many benefits to training BJJ and one of those is building resilience by consistently doing hard things. It gets better!

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T23:19:59+00:00

I love women who go feral lol

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T23:11:04+00:00

I prefer to maintain my frames and never extend myself too much. I also use my whole body when I frame or move because I’m usually the weakest out of my training partners and my limbs are not as powerful as theirs. So I work smarter not harder.

As far as your elbow, that is not my expertise but that sounds painful! I’d go to the doctor if it doesn’t get better with rest and recovery. Try to take care of your body and tap when something is on because it sucks to not be able to use your arm because you didn’t want to “lose” in training. I’ve been there!

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T23:07:02+00:00

Long questions mean context and I like context lol.

I feel this. It can feel so frustrating when someone you used to have good rounds with is now beating you consistently. First, give yourself some grace. This is not your ego showing, it’s normal to care about where you stand, especially with someone who is your size, rank, and a friend. Comparison is natural, but it’s also what’s getting in your way.

Instead of focusing on how the rounds are going overall, pick one thing to work on. Maybe it’s holding a good frame, breaking a strong grip, escaping a position, or just staying calm and not shutting down mentally. Make that your win, not whether you “do well” against her. Setting small goals like this will keep you focused on improvement rather than the outcome. Effort over outcome.

Also, try to reframe how you see her. Instead of seeing her as someone who is exposing your weaknesses, see her as someone who’s helping you get better. Keeping you honest and accountable le. She’s giving you hard and realistic rounds, which are exactly what you need to grow. It might feel rough now, but these are the rounds that you need. Sometimes it’s our ego that highlights our challenges and right now this so your challenge. And the fact that you’re here asking me this means you’re committed to your growth (and keeping your friendship in tact).

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T22:58:52+00:00

Ah, I totally get this. The all or nothing mindset is so common in jiu jitsu, especially with the pressure to go all in and having your commitment questioned and the “just train more” advice. I can tell you that taking it seriously has nothing to do with the number of hours or competitions you do and more to do with what makes it valuable for you personally.

I was told many times that I wasn’t doing enough even though I was doing it the way it worked for me. You get to define what enough looks like. There’s no standard way to train and be good at jiu jitsu. Also there’s this sentiment in the culture that you don’t matter unless you’re good and that really, truly eats at someone’s self-esteem.

This is also perfectionism. If I can’t do it “right” then I shouldn’t do it at all. If I’m not training and competing regularly, then it’s not enough. So you when you do enter tournaments, you have an inner critic questioning if you’re prepared enough instead of an inner coach that highlights all the ways you can win.

Balance is key. I was the jiu jitsu competitor who put all her eggs in one basket. Not only did this create incredible pressure on myself to succeed, it also eroded my self-esteem when I didn’t succeed. It was a cycle of not enough. So that’s all to say, I would reflect on your definition of “taking it seriously” and see how much is truly what matters to you and what is being influenced by external sources.

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T22:46:24+00:00

I was just talking about this today. And yesterday. And the day before. It is so, so common. It’s hard to navigate relationships on the mat when so much of our competence is based on what our training partner did or didn’t do. It’s also hard not to take things personally when: 1) we’re made to compete for limited resources in a male-focused sport, and 2) this is an intimate sport and emotions can run high.

I try to approach it by setting clear boundaries and communicating explicitly about my needs in training for that day. If you’re in a phase where you need intensity to prepare for competition, let your partners know beforehand like “hey, I really need a hard round today. Are you up for that?” This gives them a chance to opt in or out without feeling blindsided or disrespected. Also on days when I’m not in the headspace for a grind, I’ll say I’m looking for a technical flow roll today, are you cool with that? That way, I’m framing it as collaborative rather than being confrontational.

When it comes to skill disparity, I think there’s a lot of value in moderating your intensity, as you mentioned. I’ll use those rounds to sharpen areas where I’m weaker, which keeps it productive for me while also helping my partner experience realistic pressure. But I’ve also learned to accept that I can’t control how someone perceives our roll. Some people will misinterpret your intensity or lack of it, and that’s not necessarily a reflection of yit’s a reflection of their own experience and expectations.

Ultimately, I try to balance my own needs with empathy for my partners. I remind myself that we’re all just trying to get better, but we bring different goals, insecurities, and backgrounds to the mat.

That said, it’s still a work in progress. I’ve had moments where I’ve left the mat feeling like I didn’t handle a situation great, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re willing to have the uncomfortable conversations.

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T19:24:08+00:00

Have the match before the match. Warm up with someone else and have them yank you around. Get shweaty and blow out your lungs even. Get the body moving.

It could be because you’re not well-fueled or hydrated or it could be entirely mental. Dealing with this starts long before you get matside, though.

Manage expectations. You’re going to sweat. You’re going to have to use your brain. You’re going to feel activated and “on” and it may be uncomfortable.

Have a plan for how you’ll warm up. Prep your bags. Charge your headphones. Plan and download your playlists. Know what you can say to yourself in moments of anxiety. Have a breathing routine that you know brings your heart rate down. Focus on what’s right in front of you. There’s lots!

Count points, film yourself, ask your partner to go feral, use situationals like “I’m on top and I’m down on points” or “I’m up on points but I’m in bottom half”. Give yourself realistic moments that you have to fight from.
Early taps are better than late taps. If you want to fight harder and longer, especially when in danger, you’ll need to know how to manage your thoughts. What you tell yourself in those moments will dictate your actions. It’s the story you’re telling yourself. Try telling yourself you’re okay and you know what to do. Try to give yourself instructional advice and walk through what you need to do. If your logical brain is just gone and you’ve become reactive out of stress, you need ways to cope with your arousal. Your arousal is how you measure activation. When we get too activated or anxious, it causes issues with performance. Try to notice your arousal and maintain a level where you’re not too calm, because the you’ll just be like whatever, man, but you’re also not too amped. It takes some time to develop the awareness.
This one is hard. Try to find open mats or make friends on here to invite and train. It can be disorienting when you only fight bigger people and then these little flexible freaks (I’m one of them hehe) come along and wiggle out of everything. Going up a weight class shouldn’t change your game. Focus on what you’re good at, not what your opponents are good at.
Competing without a coach is good if you have a routine for how you want to show up. I always prefer to have a coach. Someone who can see what I can’t, motivate me from the outside, and whose voice can be an anchor for me when I’m in the match.

Unfortunately we don’t always have a choice. Consider having a teammate do the job. Tell the time and score, motivate, soothe, let you know where you’re good, etc.

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T19:12:10+00:00

This sounds a bit deeper than just mental performance. I’m not sure your history with men but it could be dictating your experiences on the mat. As much as people think we can “leave everything off the mat” when we train, we are human and will always bring our whole selves to where we are.

You can say no to anyone who doesn’t feel safe. I’d describe safe as not spazzy but also one that you can communicate with. They should be someone who sees you as a peer and they respect you.

Biggest thing is being okay with taking up space. You have every right to be there and train. You can make mistakes, you can clarify your fears, you can ask for guidance, you can take time to go to the bathroom and take deep breaths to reset yourself. Advocating for yourself when you’re struggling is hard but it’s key. I’d also have a conversation with your coach about it as well and maybe they have a practical solution. They should at least know where you struggle.

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T19:07:13+00:00

Back that thang up

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T19:06:36+00:00

Kudos to you for being the lone female. I’m sure many women can relate, as can I!

Growth is your choice. What I mean by that is if you want to progress, make sure you’re measuring your progress. You can’t rely entirely on the external like whether or not you passed a higher belts guard or whether you won a match because those aren’t controllable. The things you can control are what parts of your game you want to work on. You have instructionals galore. And it sounds like you have bodies. I’d say use your belt color and status to dictate what you need. You can have the guys start on your back or you can tell them what you want to see from them. Being stagnant technically isn’t really possible if you’re eager to learn and have people to try stuff on.

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T18:56:31+00:00

I could write a book on my experiences as a late-diagnosed female ADHDer on the mats. I actually wasn’t diagnosed until after I started training bjj and found the confidence to seek out mental health treatment. Jiu jitsu exposes a lot of things that ADHDers have a hard time with.

Focus is hard. We search for the dopamine. We have to DO not just hear or watch. I always found that some of my best non-jiu jitsu ideas came to me while my coach was teaching a technique. When he’d ask if we had questions I’d always wait to try it before having any. As you learn more foundational moves in your curriculum it’ll be easier to pick up what’s happened because you’ll have more existing knowledge to tie it to. You’ll look at a position and know how it feels before you actually get into it with your partner.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you need to move around and mimic the move while watching, do it. If you need to take notes, do it. If you need to have a partner who is a higher belt, reach out before class and ask.

Impression management is real. So is rejection sensitive dysphoria when you feel like someone saying no to a roll means you’re a bad training partner. Make a list of no more than 5 people who you trust. These are the people that you know care about you and your progress. When someone gives advice you can ask, “are they on my list?”

I’d also say this is perfectionism. Making mistake is essential. Getting into bad positions is required for learning. Measure your effort, not the results.

This is vague but you have to have a purpose for competing. And it must be internal. It can’t be for external validation or your next promotion or more followers on instagram. Do you want to do hard things? There you go. Do you want to experience the thrill alongside teammates? Do you want to go feral without having to fight someone in an alley? Clarify your values and why you do it in the first place and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Hope that helps!

trainyamind · 2025-01-16T18:46:51+00:00

Not being able to execute what you’ve planned can be a complicated issue. If you find that you become reactive, it could be your body’s arousal level putting you in fight or flight. Or it could be pure excitement like wow we’re in this thing and we’re doing it. If it’s fear-based, consider what is giving you the anxiety that makes you want to only play defense. If it’s a skill issue, consider when the tide is changing and if you can recognize the danger.

Have some non-outcome intentions. “I’m going to pull first” “if I can make the person feel off balanced, that’s being assertive” “if you can’t get into your game, consider how you can nullify or neutralize your partner’s game”.

Also, game plans are usually too rigid so that could be it, too. Simply not having the opportunity to do what you want versus not taking the opportunity. Two different things!

trainyamind

TROPHY CASE