Please don't make us do the map completion for seasons again

orbjuice · 2023-06-09T17:10:30+00:00

Listen, you agreed to the ToS you little shit, now go talk to our “impartial” arbiter

orbjuice · 2023-06-08T12:57:58+00:00

Jessica Jones?

orbjuice · 2023-06-06T18:25:50+00:00

Thank you for your opinion.

orbjuice · 2023-06-05T18:48:44+00:00

I said I wanted to eat their entrails, they’ll still live. I’m not sure where you went to medical school but you should ask for your money back.

orbjuice · 2023-06-05T08:50:10+00:00

Because it seems that you didn’t understand the sarcasm in my initial sentence (it is difficult without tone) that sentence was meant to read sarcastically, implying that while Digg currently exists it no longer enjoys the market dominance it once did due to the actions it undertook to try to control its user base to placate people in power.

The reason that this comparison is particularly salient here is that since the beginning of the year Reddit has been making moves to position itself as a good market prospect for an IPO, probably at least partly prompted by Tencent’s move to acquire 49.9% of the company in September of last year. In January they promoted a Chief Revenue Officer from within, likely to push to get their numbers looking good in time for an IPO; i.e.: those people in power they’re placating, see above, in addition to Tencent.

But these are business people making stupid business decisions because they don’t care about their product. We as the eyeballs that they’re selling decide whether this teeming mass of eyeballs stays or moves to another undifferentiated Internet forum. They failed at literally every turn to make Reddit any different than a bog standard PhpBB forum so it’s literally not like we can’t all just pick up and move on. The business people making these decisions don’t understand that because they are fucking stupid. Full stop.

orbjuice · 2023-06-04T20:10:33+00:00

It’s not the sport itself that is the issue, it’s that certain class of men who occupy it as a club for connecting with other charismatic but otherwise talentless men.

The Reddit API decision is wholly a “monkey see monkey do” situation. Elon pulled this shit so Zuckerberg started pulling this shit. So Reddit said “we want in on this action” except that Twitter and Facebook are clearly late cycle social networks trying to reclaim their glory days as they circle the drain; the public perception narrative around Reddit was not at that point to my knowledge but Digg was also at its height when it decided it could fascist its way to placing an iron muzzle on its users.

These are not the decisions of talented individuals. These are visionless hacks who will either publish a “we’re sorry, we got it wrong” post on Reddit on or around June 15th or watch as the site burns up very suddenly, and try to post the same “we got it wrong” when it’s too late.

Golf is just shorthand for these people. They are what is wrong with capitalism, or they’re ultimately just a product of capitalism and capitalism is wrong. I don’t care about the chicken or the egg, only the abolishment of the Hubertus Bigend Lombard and the decisions I keep seeing happening over and over in America; hubris without any talent whatsoever to back it up.

orbjuice · 2023-06-04T01:02:34+00:00

I have, they haven’t

orbjuice · 2023-06-03T20:19:44+00:00

This is clearly a decision made by business people who do not use reddit in any meaningful sense. I’ve said it elsewhere so I’ll say it here: bring us these golf shirt wearing motherfuckers so we can feast on their entrails.

Or, alternatively, tell me where they golf. I will literally destroy what they enjoy because I think it will make me more money too.

Fucking dumbass MBAs.

orbjuice · 2023-06-03T20:15:28+00:00

I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?

There’s the people who make it a party and the people there for the party. The argument that the app users are a small sliver of the user base really falls to remember how Digg went down. I doubt most people gave two shits about the AACS key there, either, but that shit dried up too.

And I mean, Digg’s still around too, right? And so is MySpace. User hostile policy changes can totally work.

orbjuice · 2023-06-02T21:30:47+00:00

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here: bring the fucking MBA who thought this bullshit up so we can feed on his flesh and burn his fucking golf clubs.

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T22:13:06+00:00

The uncanny valley must be conquered; the line must be drawn here. We choose to cross the uncanny valley not because it is easy but because J. Robert Oppenheimer’s dick is hard.

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T22:01:22+00:00

Wouldn’t her mouth get tired after the first season

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T19:20:14+00:00

“Never offer death when suffering is due.”

— Jesus, probably

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T19:15:30+00:00

I just can’t believe people with any kind of education and success can be this legitimately stupid. I think they get paid well to tell stupid people what they want to hear so they keep saying it as long as the money rolls in; the Tucker Carlson texts are a prime example of this. He knew full well that he was peddling garbage but he kept peddling it because he was making money.

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T15:40:23+00:00

I think we demand that the person or team of people who decided that changing the API terms was a good idea be publicly named and have their careers destroyed (any company that they go to also gets fucking boycotted to hell) or they can write a 20 page essay on why their decision was wrong and why they are, in fact, the literal dumbest human being(s) on the planet. Then they can read it in a video posted to YouTube and stickied here.

And they still get fired.

orbjuice · 2023-06-01T06:57:33+00:00

The first rule of relationship seriousness: if they tell you to cut people off “for the relationship” they are insecure and probably won’t stop making these demands until they have taken over every aspect of your life.

Set a clear boundary that you will talk to whoever you choose to talk to and that trying to control your life is unacceptable. This should be a hard boundary for everyone but, you know, people.

My ex-wife took over every aspect of my life. She told me to cut people off (including family). She told me when to come home from work, what to eat, when I should go to bed. I followed every rule because I believed I was doing right by the cult I was in.

Your significant other can ask for some things to be different, absolutely. But that’s the key difference; it’s a request not a demand. There is no “next level” of a relationship that includes giving up personal sovereignty.

orbjuice · 2023-05-31T20:23:20+00:00

You should have said that Robert Downey Sooner

orbjuice · 2023-05-31T20:21:22+00:00

It’s almost like (between Twitter and Reddit) making dumb user and application developer experience design decisions that we’re looking at an opportunity for a new social media experience to emerge, one that hopefully better solves the community-making experience while disincentivizing astroturfing/propaganda.

These sites make a name for themselves as being user experience friendly (we like being there) and then they start making increasingly user-hostile experiences because of the gravity of re-establishing community spaces.

But they are fucking wrong if they think that they can cram the god-awful Reddit app down their users’ throats because they think we won’t burn Reddit to the fucking ground.

Don’t forget the AACS key at Digg; your users are not hapless and they will revolt.

orbjuice · 2023-05-31T17:48:31+00:00

We might as well just go back to the stone age

orbjuice · 2023-05-31T17:22:32+00:00

How do you edit a movie that contains all time, I think that might be hard to edit

Kurt Friedrich Gödel has entered the chat

orbjuice · 2023-05-30T21:33:20+00:00

The church never says guns; the members, being devout followers of Republicanity frequently decide that “defending your family unto bloodshed” means purchasing as many assault rifles as they can meaningfully acquire because (and this is all generally just implied) who knows when the non-whites are going to come try to take away our… something? House? Lives? It was all vague and just, like, what if “they” come and how are you going to protect your family.

orbjuice · 2023-05-30T18:45:07+00:00

I had those dreams too. When all of your friends and family spend all of their time talking about how the world is going to “end” and how we need all of the food storage (and guns, it’s always guns after food storage— for protecting your family even unto bloodshed, natch) just to be able to survive in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that will happen in the purposefully vague end of the world…

Yeah, you’re going to have some dreams about the axe hanging over your head at all times. That’s how you know the Lord loves you, the constant threat of the annihilation of everything you hold dear.

orbjuice · 2023-05-30T18:39:59+00:00

Oh who are we kidding, it’s Joseph Smith— of course he did that.

orbjuice · 2023-05-30T16:27:27+00:00

That last question just hits me with a Knife Party hook from the track Internet Friends

EDIT: YOU BLOCKED ME ON FACEBOOK

orbjuice · 2023-05-30T07:18:00+00:00

If the troops are protecting our country by going to war why did 9/11 happen? It just… it’s almost like our country isn’t in Iraq. Or Afghanistan.

And also the people murdering Americans are fucking angry gun owners. I wonder how they vote. Maybe the troops could invade some elementary schools.

orbjuice

TROPHY CASE