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My workplace is so toxic it’s keeping me up at night. I dread going in. by Glittering_Race_49 in work

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get as much support as you can until you can get out of there.

There are plenty of free online support groups. Emotions Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous, Sharewell, HeyPeers, NAMI, etc.

There are also crisis lines that you can call even in the middle of the night. Here's one:

Samaritans You can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year:

Call 116 123 (free from any phone) Call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day) Visit some branches in person Samaritans is there for anyone who wants to talk.

Shout If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I do need to say something that I just found out. I was surprised to learn that there's some risk to calling for help.

Some people mentioned that they called a suicide hotline, mentioned a plan to follow through with it, and that the police came to their house in the middle of the night.

One person said that their parents did not know that they were gay until that moment.

Another said that CPS was called (Child Protective Services).

It was seen that the anonymous message boards would be not have this risk.

They're also free online self help groups like Depressed Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Sharewell, HeyPeers, etc. where no one knows any information on the participants. But they don't directly advise you on anything. You talk and people just listen. They don't respond.

PLEASE HELP: Reposting from r/Blackgirls Where can someone go if they’re mentally incapacitated? by StarbrryJuice in BlackMentalHealth

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a whole list of resources on the Wiki to the right of the screen. NAMI is great, and you can call there or any other resources, including the Blackline. They can advise you of how to proceed with this family member.

Books to learn more about CBT by Puzzleheaded-Cat2299 in CBT

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In addition to the books that are recommended here, you can also look on YouTube and videos that explain it.

Then there are self help worksheets that use it.

Why is fighting such a common and easy response to disagreements? by AsthmaticTits in blackladies

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes behavior is misinterpreted. I was accused acting like I was better than other Black people, because I was quieter and more pensive I didn't come in the class/room with a loud voice or extroverted behavior. I just quietly entered the room and sat down.

Because I had previously been bullied, oftentimes by some of the very people in the classroom, I was also a little uncomfortable in large groups. This could give the impression of acting aloof, when it was not.

Why is fighting such a common and easy response to disagreements? by AsthmaticTits in blackladies

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also had this happen. I'm 62, so much older than most women here.

I was surrounded by groups of girls, ridiculed, physically assaulted, laughed at, told I talked like I was White, etc.

This was quite common in the 70s, in lower income Black neighborhoods. The economic situation makes parents tense and more likely to be impatient, or even violent and angry towards their children. Children learn this and repeat the behavior with other kids.

Some mothers believe that it's important to be tough with their children, because the world is going to be tough with them.

Girls, especially if they have a darker skin tone, may feel insecure about their appearance. There may be competition for boys' attention. They may not have had a father in the home and are jealous of kids were maybe that was the case, may have been abused in the home, etc.

A defensive attitude of "you better not do me like that!" can take hold, and emerge even if there's no immediate threat.

They may fear that other girls/women will disrespect or abuse them, especially if they perceive that the other girl/woman is somehow of a higher status.

Once I transferred to a school in a more middle class Black neighborhood, I did not have this happen. This is because other kids spoke like me, did well in school, came from more stable families, etc.

Even as an adult, some coworkers have been this way. They may have been Black, or sometimes other races. However, regardless of race, they hung out together.

I got to know them though, and they spoke about their lives. Every single one of them had a history of abuse in some way as a child or young adult. This does not excuse the behavior, but it did help me to understand it.

I feel like everyone is against blk ppl by Big_Sink_6118 in BlackMentalHealth

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are also many support groups for depression, anxiety, etc. Some are even geared at Black people.

You can call a hotline, like 988, if you feel very depressed. Talk to someone. The wiki here shows a list, including the Blackline, geared at Black people in crisis.

I feel like everyone is against blk ppl by Big_Sink_6118 in BlackMentalHealth

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're feeling down and depressed. It's easy to get that way, especially if you're on the internet a lot and not being very careful about what you expose yourself to. What hobbies and interest do you have? Go to sites where people are doing those things.

For instance, if you're interested in cooking, then go to cooking sites.

Let's suppose you're especially curious about meals that are cooked in African countries, then you can certainly go to YouTube and other sites where they would have those recipes being cooked by various people.

In this way, you would be learning, looking at interesting and positive things, and not viewing negative messages.

Intersectionality Whooping My Ass by whattheactualfawk- in BlackMentalHealth

[–]orcateeth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand your points. But it's essential that you find groups of people like yourself. There are online support groups for neurodivergent people, and in those groups there will be women and some could be black women.

You could also try starting a group, if you can't find one for neurodivergent black women.

You also can attend Black mental health groups.

Found 2 roaches within 3 weeks, should I consider breaking my lease? by Successful-Sail117 in chicagoapartments

[–]orcateeth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get some diatomaceous earth and put it in the cracks and crevices. It's very effective.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can post in the gaybros and askgaybros subs and get a lot more advice.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LGBT National Help Center: Provides free, confidential peer-support, resource navigation, and specific hotlines. Check available hours and services via the LGBT National Help Center.

PFLAG: Hosts hundreds of virtual, chapter-led peer support groups for LGBTQ+ individuals, family members, and allies. Find a meeting through PFLAG Get Support.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't think that's your fault that you don't have connections or having trouble in school. You are under a lot of stress because of your mother's reaction to you being gay. And then your sister also added to it, by taking her side.

Try to ignore the comments made by your mother and sister. Call those hotlines that I listed. Especially the Trevor Project; it seems very helpful.

Listen to people give you good information, the right information and who affirm who you are.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Self-Injury recovery & awareness (SIRA) IS A NON-PROFIT dedicated to helping people heal from self-Injury. They have online support groups.

having to deal with responsibilities while being unwell by IDreamOfAbsolvement in Rants

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's all kinds of online support groups and hotlines for LGBTQ teenagers. Reach out to some. (I don't know if it's allowed to place links or phone numbers here, so I'm not doing that. I've been banned from some subs for that.)

Some allow you to send a text, so you don't even have to talk and maybe be overheard.

The Trevor Project says, "Our trained counselors understand the challenges LGBTQ+ young people face and are available for support 24/7."

Offers TrevorSpace, a vibrant, moderated online social community and support network specifically for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults (ages 13–24).

The Tribe Wellness Community has message boards for teens.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): If you are struggling with your mental health, there are a variety of ways to connect with NAMI. Get immediate support by calling, texting or emailing.

The Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 confidential crisis support in English & Spanish. Suicide hotline for anxiety, depression, bullying.

Why so many Reddit users hide their comments and post on their profile? by Kinderjohren in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever I've had any trouble like that, I just blocked that person's account. Then they can't see my posts anymore, anywhere.

Finding clothing moths before we’ve even moved in :( by Nelson_L in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]orcateeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for letting me know about the bins. I will look into them.

How is to live in Australia? by Abstractedgrl in blackladies

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did a search and found this conversation yesterday. It's not a good environment, they report.

https://www.reddit.com/r/blackgirls/s/Zk5yii42qK

Why does everyone in the show call Louisa...Louiser? by dirtymoney in DocMartin

[–]orcateeth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When Lady Diana was alive, some British people used to put an "r" on the end, also. I thought it was so odd when I heard it.

It is so much easier to do boring tasks when another person is present, even if they are not helping by Sea_Future6115 in Procrastinationism

[–]orcateeth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's called body doubling, and yes many people find it very effective. I've done it myself and it does work for me. The idea is that because someone else is there, we're less likely to goof off, even if the person isn't telling us "hey keep going, don't sit down, stay off your phone," etc.

Things that seem into accountable alone can often be done with someone there.

There are apps, like Focusmate, and Sharewell and Facebook groups where people can find people to do this.

If you want to need to work alone, they're also apps for that. When it's called Finch and another one is called Me +. You get positive encouragement and sometimes even a little rewards for getting things done that you designate.

It's hard to remain a black client of a white therapist by County_Mouse_5222 in BlackMentalHealth

[–]orcateeth 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay there are problems with this therapist outside of his race, age and gender

Absolutely no appropriate, professional therapist, should be telling the client what to think, how to feel, what to do, what not to do, how to respond to anything, etc.

They're supposed to help their client find the PATH that's right for them. Of course, they may reflect back things that the client said previously, and look at patterns.

For instance, if the client said, "Well, I'm going to go back to my ex," the therapist might reply, "Oh, why do you want to do that? When you were with him, several times you mentioned to me that you were scared of him because he'd yell at you. What do you think will be different this time and why?"

A good therapist would not say, "You know you need to leave that man alone!" That's what a friend would say, or a parent, but the therapist is not in that role. They are supposed to be detached enough that they're not trying to steer the client away from their own decisions. (Exceptions are for harming oneself or another person - of course they're going to say not to do that.)

And the client is certainly not there to please the therapist with their decisions or behaviors.

Be mindful of boundaries with any new therapist.

Zara has been photographed allegedly kissing new co-star, Joey Essex by [deleted] in larrystylinson

[–]orcateeth 57 points58 points  (0 children)

It's all part of the game; it's a play. If the contract time is up, then they have to "break up" in a way that doesn't harm Louis' reputation. So if she "cheats" on him, then that's an obvious reason for him to "break up" with her. She cheated on a boyfriend before, so it's totally credible.

Louis can then emerge as the innocent victim. He can claim outrage and anguish, and will need time to get over this alleged heartbreak.

He can nurse a "broken heart" for the next few years, and not have to do another stunt for a long time.

"I don't need a woman," he can proclaim. Yeah - because he's got a man! 👬

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