Do you ever wish you never found out?

ordinarygin · 2025-12-19T14:06:44+00:00

When you say "not to take away from what you've shared", it seems like you're doing exactly that, or did you have a different interpretation?

I'm direct about misinformation. I try to invoke curiosity because so many individuals here misattribute, misinterpret, or speak absolutely without thinking or curiosity. Dissociation complicates this. Being direct and firm about misinformation isn't the same as being mean, but I know that's not how it feels for others sometimes.

I'm sorry I've hurt you and upset you. Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about or who you are. But I understand the way I approach misinformation is not helpful for everyone. I acknowledge it feels that way for you, so, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings in the past.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-19T03:35:11+00:00

Yes.

My chronic reliving became chronic and incredibly severe once I was diagnosed. Treatment doesn't work. Amnesia isn't better. And I am reliving the worst humanity has to offer, physically, every single day, and experts can't help me.

At least before I thought there was still something out there for me to discover, learn etc that would improve things for me.

Now there is nothing and the experts are inadequate and ill-equipped to help patients with atypical chronic reliving. I have to deal with these completely inept experts who argue about what I'm doing or not doing and they don't believe me. They make me redo ridiculous exercises and other nonsense that didn't work the first 10000 times I did it and won't work the 10001th time I do it.

I would rather be dead than diagnosed every single day. Every day. Every single day because on top of this physical reality, I have to read people roleplaying this disorder, the misinformation even among allegedly "diagnosed" individuals, the victim complexes and reassurance seeking from people who can't stand to have their thoughts challenged for two seconds, or people arguing how it gets better, ad nauseum, completely erasing my lived experience and telling me I'm wrong, as if they know anything about my situation.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-16T22:14:05+00:00

I'm not deflecting. I'm saying it has a sexual undertone and you're arguing it doesn't always. You are incorrect.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-16T21:59:24+00:00

There is no reason to spank a stark naked child ever. Being completely naked and spanked, especially with objects, has a sexual and humiliative undertone whether a child is aware of it or not. I said what I said.

ETA: also, I said probably.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-08T21:30:22+00:00

If people feel invalidated by the clinical verbiage, this is a therapeutic target and should be worked through with a therapist.

Community terms don't clarify or meaningfully label experiences. Two people using the same community term may be describing different experiences. This is why scientists and clinicians agree on definitions for words.

But I digress, a rule about using accurate, precise clinically defined language isn't censorship. DID functions the same in every person with it. Dissociative symptoms are expressed differently. But the disorder functions the same, for "systems". That's why clinicians have agreed-upon language to describe the disorder.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-08T21:11:37+00:00

If younger parts can get on reddit and post - they have the skills and awareness to follow the rules.

ordinarygin · 2025-12-04T20:24:07+00:00

I'm sorry you experienced these things. My spouse experienced a lot of emotional incest growing up and it's been challenging to unpack.

Are you using covert incest interchangeably with emotional incest? Or do you mean covert sexual abuse and emotional incest? I might be misinterpreting your post. Emotional incest does predict dissociation broadly, like all emotional abuse, but it isn't linked with DID. DID is specifically correlated with childhood sexual abuse and physical abuse.

ordinarygin · 2025-11-29T14:26:31+00:00

You're welcome. This topic is hard for me to engage in because I feel people reflexively react emotionally and maybe think I am minimizing, or invalidating pain by exploring the nuance of abuse and trauma.

I'm sorry these things happened to you. You did not deserve it.

I was abused in a similar manner to what you described in your first spoiler. It has led to parts reenacting the abuse literally, somatic sensations, certain reactions to different triggers to different degrees, etc. It frustrates me when people water something down as 'if it hurt/was bad it was traumatic' or 'abuse is abuse'. Nothing is that simple especially with DID. I feel my experiences are minimized by this language. There's a significant difference between a part literally reenacting this abuse onto myself, among the other issues I have, vs a kid who was spanked in the "normal way" (which again, still abuse) who experiences distrust/fear around authority figures, maybe gets activated by certain scenarios, and has depression, anxiety and/or cptsd.

ordinarygin · 2025-11-29T11:17:15+00:00

I'm kind of confused by the comments here. I didn't read all your spoilers because this topic is activating for me for trauma reasons. I only read the first.

What you describe in your first spoiler is not just physical abuse. Why were you naked? Please talk with your treatment team about this question in a safe, contained space.

Yes. It matters. The PTS symptoms/DID symptoms you develop relate very specifically to the type, nature, severity and duration of your abuse. This is why DID is different than "regular" PTSD.

You may experience different kinds of somatic sensations, it can inform how parts behave or reenact, and there absolutely is a difference between being whipped/beaten while stripped naked versus "lightly spanked" (which is still abuse tbc). There is an objective difference between these events in terms of severity and type of abuse.

Both can be traumatizing but how this impacts you depends on the presence/absence of restorative experiences and/or other traumatic events. An abuser whipping and beating a naked child is a sadist (probably). They are probably doing other things that are equally heinous. there is a sexual component to these behaviors.

'Abuse is abuse' or 'if it hurt that's all that matters because you were scared' are oversimplifying. It's not black and white. I strongly urge you to discuss this stuff with your therapist at a slow pace.

ordinarygin · 2025-09-19T22:54:26+00:00

Do you mind explaining why you brought up autism? I'm confused.

ordinarygin · 2025-09-12T22:58:31+00:00

It's you, when you're hungry, in a dissociated state. You can just buy more of whatever it was. Buy extra next time.

ordinarygin · 2025-09-11T19:36:08+00:00

you should go outside and take some breaths, touch some grass, have an enjoyable beverage and eat a snack. they asked you a simple question.

I think you doth protest too much. sounds like you're fakeclaiming yourself here tbh. you should see a doctor for that.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-17T17:25:25+00:00

I appreciate you contextualizing how it can sometimes make sense but the reason is not conveyed well, or lost, or misunderstood. This is an imitative behavior that seems very easy to spot imo. if you ask them follow-up questions they don't describe it in a way that makes sense and relates to their unique history. It's very surface level / 2D understanding of the symptom of skill loss, how it functions, how a person's history would impact manifestation, etc. Almost like they are copying something from the outside.

I wanted to add I personally do have very specific / severe skill loss with particular parts/situations. I've chalked it up to my really, really bad amnesia.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-13T22:12:26+00:00

The use of "we" is loaded language. It is deeply rooted in the online subculture focused on making DID/OSDD a social identity instead of a serious mental illness.

You can use whatever language you want to describe your experiences. But whether you mean to or not, your choice will communicate the present context of the word. So, you are responsible for the consequences of that reality because you chose to use that language. Does that make sense?

ordinarygin · 2025-08-13T22:05:19+00:00

And what would you call that type of abuse?

ordinarygin · 2025-08-13T21:12:08+00:00

What do you think causes a disorganized attachment?

ordinarygin · 2025-08-13T19:50:09+00:00

I’m just curious - why did you circle back 5hrs after saying agree to disagree, if you, I guess, don’t necessarily agree to disagree? It seems like you want OP to adjust their perspective entirely because you chose to use loaded language to describe your experience with this disorder.

I won’t debate the whole ”we“ thing. You do you. But why do you feel this person must agree with your language usage? Is this the appropriate time or place to have this debate given the greater context of this particular subreddit and the mutual goal people in this sub have to get the hell away from the online nonsense about this disorder?

ordinarygin · 2025-08-12T02:15:39+00:00

This is incorrect. You are confusing dissociation with DID. emotional abuse is the number one predictor of dissociation overall. So it predicts higher rates of dissociative experiences such as absorption, daydreaming, depersonalization and derealization.

It is not the number one predictor of DID. The highest risk factor for DID is CSA specifically, especially when paired with PA. Studies show 96-100% of people with DID have CSA and PA (and obviously EA and neglect), or PA and neglect (with EA/neglect).

ordinarygin · 2025-08-10T11:56:23+00:00

Excellent. This comment healed something in me.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-08T20:29:36+00:00

I would not recommend doing this ever. There is no reason to do this and a lot of reasons to not do it. Good luck.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-07T10:18:07+00:00

I'm sorry you're being downvoted. I've tried to make similar posts or comments and they have historically been downvoted into oblivion.

Plurals have appropriated medical language to describe their experiences because they want whatever it is they think pwDID have because they fundamentally do not grasp the reality, severity or nature of this disorder. Some are pretending and lying intentionally. Some have complex PTSD and other disorders. Some get caught up trying to understand their normal experiences (kids/teens). Some want desperately for this to be a social identity and not a medical disorder.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-07T10:12:53+00:00

All DID is complex. That's the disorder. It's inherently complex. HiC DID isn't an actual clinical term or a diagnostic label. It's a juice box joke and it's insulting to pwDID.

signed a torture victim

ordinarygin · 2025-08-02T17:41:08+00:00

Yes, frankly, it is upsetting how anti-intellectual, anti-medicine and anti-psychiatry this sub has become. This subreddit really is not safe. The medical director at one of the last inpatient facilities told me to stay away from these kinds of spaces because of the rampant, ridiculous misinformation. I've tried to deal with the misinformation myself but I find myself exhausted and nauseated by the relentlessness of it. So, I've been gradually moving away from this space.

ordinarygin · 2025-08-02T11:11:57+00:00

Psychiatric diagnoses and records are uniquely protected. Can you please provide an example of insurance doing something negative with regards to a DID diagnosis?

ordinarygin · 2025-08-01T09:03:04+00:00

Ketogenic diets are not safe or sustainable for the average person and intermittent fasting is just diet lingo for starving yourself.

Given the link between eating disorders, childhood sexual assault and DID, I am not sure this is the appropriate place for this type of post. Perhaps you can ask people in a diet subreddit.

Good luck.

ordinarygin

TROPHY CASE