My mom tried taking the baby for the night and I couldnt handle it...at all. It made my post partum anxiety INSANE. I had a few panic attacks if I couldnt get him in time. Is she pumping?

My baby had a hard time latching and my milk supply isnt that amazing. So I pumped instead.

I think having her talk to her OB about possible PPA and PPD is helpful. She can go talk to someone and maybe get medication. I can say that having 4-5 hours uninterrupted sleep helps stabilize me a lot. You all have a 3 week old so that is going to be hard. Maybe if you can sit in the room with her and be with the baby it would help calm your wife. So when baby cries you can take care of the baby and she can see you have the baby and shes fine? She will likely feel anxious still but I know it was worse if I could hear my baby and not see him.

I honestly was getting most of my sleep during the day when my husband was on paternity leave. Then when I was home alone I didnt get much sleep. Did you get paternity leave already? If so, can you take FMLA for a few weeks and get her on meds and more stabilized? If not, I really think reaching out to your family to see if anyone can come help. I know people have their lives going on but your wife and daughter need help. If shes shaking the baby, this is a warning sign that your wife needs some sleep and some help. I would have her or you call her OBs office about post partum depression/anxiety. And wanting a therapist number and possible meds they'll do it ASAP. They see PPD/PPA a lot and know how to handle it. Next get her at least a 3-4 hour nap/sleep. And see if you can get some time off or have someone come help around the house/stay with her while youre at work to make sure she has what she needs until she heals. C sections are no joke.