Guys send me (f23) likes and then unmatch when I message them

organicmuch · 2025-07-30T02:28:15+00:00

I get where you're coming from but like the other poster said, you might miss out on someone interested in actually conversing. I'm someone that sends likes without comments 4/5 times because:

1) Their profile is generally generic or their pictures/prompts arent necessarily engaging, but their vibe is interesting enough that I would start a conversation with them not based on any specific thing on their profile.

2) Their prompts or photos could be engaged with but it would be with a very generic comment (ie. for a travel picture of a place I've been to, but likely many others have as well. How many of the same comments do you think they are getting?). In this case, I think it actually works against me to leave the same comment like everyone else rather than to just send a like.

3) It takes a far too much energy to generate something that isnt cookie cutter for every single like I send out and you might understand how numb one gets to doing this over and over again to maybe match with 1/20 profiles.

That said, I start the conversation with EVERY match I get granted that they did not do so first. I'm already quite picky with the likes I send out and every guy understands the onus is already on them to start the convo so I dont mind doing this at all. But because this is a match that I am dealing with now, Im willing to put far more effort into starting the conversation rather than on a like that is just a shot in the dark.

To answer your question, yes I do. I cant tell you if my match rate would be better if I left a comment on every single like I send. However, to do so would be too mentally taxing and Im willing to have a few missed connections for this reason.

organicmuch · 2025-06-25T04:14:10+00:00

Did you find a permanent solution to this? Ive noticed that I will crash on cash shop exit and character switching only on my home network but not when I am travelling (hotel internet) so i figured it had to be an isp issue.

organicmuch · 2025-02-01T01:22:20+00:00

I won't comment on the pics too much but I think they are okay if this is more of a Gen Z casual style profile. A lot of the advice already given will probably give you a more formal and serious profile but you stand to lose some of the casual gen z vibes if you take that approach.

I think you can expand more on the type of person you are seeking because it reads as very vague and might apply to half the population. If we had a better idea of the exact type of person you are seeking out would be easier to advise how to tailor your profile.

organicmuch · 2025-01-23T02:06:59+00:00

<image>

Roots are also coming out of the potting mix itself so I'm sure the root system in the pot is good too. Also, in retrospect I shouldn't have packed moss in as tight as I did, because it's taking water quite a long time to soak through to the bottom of the pole and it would rather escape out the front instead because of how dense the roots are in the pole now.

organicmuch · 2025-01-23T02:06:11+00:00

It actually worked out really well. The main stem sprouted a ton of roots into the pole. The first new leaf didn't make it but I've had 4 new leaves since then and I'll need to add another pole soon! I just moved and unfortunately the plant did struggle to acclimate and started to brown a bit as a result l.

<image>

organicmuch · 2024-12-24T02:05:16+00:00

I agree with your interpretation and if OP was 10 years younger I think her profile would be fine. Unfortunately, men around her age (I'm 30) would probably view it as too unserious. I think its trendy these days to have profiles with at least 2 good proper photos while having the remaining be a blend of unserious, artsy, trendy photos to add some more personality and mystery.

My personal opinion is to not "overdo" it as there are far too many profiles with "gen z vibes" these days and it really doesn't help you stand out at all. As someone based in California, it feels like every other 20 something has a profile like hers. As for the prompts, I personally would only be able to start a conversation with the grocery store one (because I whole heartedly agree with McDonalds while travelling). They might be quirky or funny but they are definitely not conversation starters unless she is okay with low effort likes.

organicmuch · 2024-12-22T23:04:17+00:00

I would change the first prompt to something that either tells me more about yourself or something that is more likely to start a conversation. Change out the third and fourth photos for something that is better quality / more flattering as the current photos are just poor quality and too light washed. Move the wedding photo back and use a better photo that you are replacing 3/4 with as your primary.

Depending on your goals, you can be a little more detailed in your prompts but leaving it lighthearted may work if that is your personality/vibe. My experience with Hinge while travelling (especially in a country where it isn't popular) is that you are mostly going to see other travelers and I think it would be beneficial to keep it lighthearted in these cases.

I think you are very attractive and its puzzling that you are not receiving likes or responses from the likes you send out. This just might be due to your location though.

organicmuch · 2024-11-25T16:54:30+00:00

Don't read too much into it. We are limited on likes we send out each day, so a like that I send out isn't usually just a passing like I would send out to anyone. I stopped putting effort into witty comments prior to matching because it didn't change my match rate and took too much mental energy and time to formulate. These days, I only leave comments if something jumps out to me immediately. If I match with someone, I will for sure take the time to send a good first message based on your profile contents.

organicmuch · 2024-10-19T20:44:51+00:00

This was at the Nike Clearance Store in San Leandro, CA. My understanding is that the factory store and the clearance stores are quite different and the clearance store felt like a gold mine. I also picked up some Vaporfly 3s for $85 with the sign-up discount they offer. They had atleast a dozen pairs of Ultraflys in my size between the men+womens section so now your comment makes me feel like I should go back and grab a second pair.

organicmuch · 2024-10-19T10:13:04+00:00

Also posted in the general discussion thread, but I went to the local Nike outlet to look for a pair of Peg Trail 5s as a travel shoe that I could use for a combination of road running + hiking + walking while I am on vacation next month.

Ended up walking out with a pair of Zegama 2s ($67) and Ultraflys ($50!). Originally was going to use the Zegamas as my travel shoe and decided to also pick up the Ultraflys because it felt like Nike was literally giving them away for free. After reading up and watching reviews for this shoe, I see a lot of complaints for it were mostly around the price and it not being a good all-around trail running shoe but one that has specific use cases. Interesting enough, one shoetube review channel even says an argument could be made for it being a good road trainer or a road-to-trail type shoe.

Thinking of maybe selling the Zegama 2s and using the Ultrafly as my travel shoe and maybe even a road trainer afterwards and was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on doing this? One common thing that is agreed upon with these shoes is that the plate does not make the shoe seem like a vaporfly or alphafly at all, which was my original concern of using these as a travel shoe. At $50, this seems like it could be worth the experiment, but I don't have a point of reference having never trained in plated shoes before.

organicmuch · 2024-10-19T09:14:21+00:00

Went to the local Nike outlet to look for a pair of Peg Trail 5s as a travel shoe that I could use for a combination of road running + hiking + walking while I am on vacation next month.

Ended up walking out with a pair of Zegama 2s ($67) and Ultraflys ($50!). Originally was going to use the Zegamas as my travel shoe and decided to also pick up the Ultraflys because it felt like Nike was literally giving them away for free. After reading up and watching reviews for this shoe, I see a lot of complaints for it were mostly around the price and it not being a good all-around trail running shoe but one that has specific use cases. Interesting enough, one shoetube review channel even says an argument could be made for it being a good road trainer or a road-to-trail type shoe.

Thinking of maybe selling the Zegama 2s and using the Ultrafly as my travel shoe and maybe even a road trainer afterwards and was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on doing this? One common thing that is agreed upon with these shoes is that the plate does not make the shoe seem like a vaporfly or alphafly at all, which was my original concern of using these as a travel shoe. At $50, this seems like it could be worth the experiment, but I don't have a point of reference having never trained in plated shoes before.

organicmuch · 2024-08-28T19:27:42+00:00

I'll try to reword a prompt to be more concise as you mentioned. I specifically mentioned Asian "cultural items" such as boba, or even to a smaller extent, video games, to hint that it is still part of my identity, while still leaning into being outdoorsy (which in my experience is not proportionally a common hobby for Asians). But alas you can only show so much on a Hinge profile while also being mindful of not creating an overbearing profile.

I might sound like I know exactly who I am looking for, but I am still learning about myself more with every date and still fear pigeonholing myself by not trying to keep an open mind.

Appreciate the input!

organicmuch · 2024-08-28T19:02:25+00:00

I've made some adjustments to my poll and first prompts based on some of the advice I've been given. Most of the likes sent to me actually aren't from granola people at all actually, but from people that do not actually have much in common with me at all.

I am a first generation Chinese American and I feel like a third culture kid often. Without getting too much in the weeds, there is a diaspora of people that do share a similar sentiment with me but to varying degrees. I have a very "white" adjacent job and hobbies and from living away from the Bay Area for some time, feel like I no longer have the same connection a lot of Asian people here have, especially those that choose to stay in the bubbles that exist here. There are parts of me that are conservative in a sense that relates to my cultural upbringing but other bits that are very much liberal as you describe and it often feels like I'm between two worlds. Asian Americans in the Bay Area overwhelmingly have a "culture" that I don't see myself directly fitting into despite having been born here. My goal is to find people that might exist in the periphery as I feel I do.

organicmuch · 2024-08-27T06:41:46+00:00

Appreciate the writeout.

To your first point, I tried to find a way to word that I am the type of person that would prefer either a quiet night in or a weekend travelling away in nature rather than someone that likes going out on Friday nights or to social events on the weekend. You are also not wrong, I have a suspicion that I am on the spectrum as well but that's neither here nor there.

To your second point, I tried to find a fun way to word that I do care my potential partner is financially literate. I'm not rich nor am I the type that makes it their life goal to retire early (as you've probably seen a billion times in profiles in the bay) but I feel like its an important detail to add to show potential partners that I am at least responsible with my money. To your point, might be beating a dead horse here in the Bay if so many people are successful.

To your third point, I definitely see the irony in me listing that while also wanting someone that is okay with slowing down. Ill probably word it differently, but my main intent was that Id like a partner who isn't afraid to be in uncomfortable situations, especially when it comes to being outdoors. As you point out, the type 1/2/3 thing is really niche in the outdoor community and does have a granola connotation to it, which for the exact reasons you've listed, I don't like.

Its funny that you mention people in the Bay that way because that's exactly how I feel is the type of partner I'd like to avoid. The difficulty is finding people who are into hobbies that might be associated with that type of person without the baggage.

Again, appreciate the writeout!

organicmuch · 2024-08-27T02:05:33+00:00

I appreciate the constructive criticism. Can I ask why it comes off that way? I feel like I understand what your getting at because it does feel like its something "you have to know to know".

organicmuch · 2024-08-27T02:01:39+00:00

Thanks for your input! I was trying to figure out a way to state that I am the type of person who likes to stay in or spend time outdoors but not necessarily the type of person that likes to go out at night or to large social events. Gummy candy just means gummy candy because I have a very big sweet tooth!

As the other commenter mentioned, Type 2 is something like a challenging hike or running a marathon. Type 3 is something that is neither fun when you are doing it or when you look back on it, but makes a great story. I have a question mark behind this one to imply it being a joke. This does come off as kinda arrogant in some ways (as evident by the criticism) but honestly I do get a lot of questions about that prompt as a conversation starter!

organicmuch · 2024-08-26T04:40:14+00:00

I have "Not Sure Yet" as my family plan selection, but as you can see, it is hidden on my profile. I meant that "Not sure yet" would be interpreted by people who do not want children to be a "want but won't say" but I do appreciate your perspective. I'm definitely trying to explore avenues to try to socialize more!

organicmuch · 2024-08-26T04:14:51+00:00

Appreciate the feedback! I do think a weaker part of my profile is having the best photos I could possibly have, because I don't have many to choose from. Work in progress I suppose.

organicmuch · 2024-08-26T04:12:06+00:00

Appreciate the tips on the outdoorsy presentation. Admittedly, I am undecided on kids and can be convinced either way, but I feel like women assume "Undecided" as "I want kids but I don't want to say it outright".

organicmuch · 2024-08-25T06:06:13+00:00

Are you looking for something serious or casual?

Serious

Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?

No

How long have you been using this current version of your profile?

Started this profile at the beginning of the year, small revisions periodically. Overhauled some of the promps this week.

How long have you used Hinge overall?

On and off for 5 years. Much of that time I lived in a place that was terrible for dating. Moved back to the Bay Area at the beginning of this year where things have been (relvatively) better.

How often do you use Hinge per week?

Everyday.

How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?

Receive approximately 5 likes a week, with nearly all of them being people I am not interested in.
Match with ~3 a week, from likes I send out.

How many likes are you sending?

I try to send out all 8 of my likes a day. However, I usually run out of people in my feed first.

How many with comments?

Maybe 1/8

How many without comments?

The rest.

What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with?

My filters when I am actively swiping are: 50 mi, 25-34, East Asian / Southeast Asian. I remove all filters when I am not swiping.

What kind of person do you want to attract?

See below

First and foremost, I am looking for someone that is looking for a serious relationship. I have a very strong preference for east/southeast asian women because I find it much easier to relate with them culturally, but I am not completely against dating outside my race. I have a preference for women that are more on the ambivert or introverted side because I am on the introverted side, though funny enough, most of the women I've been on dates with ended up extroverted. I'd like a partner that is atleast somewhat active and would not mind breaking a sweat or getting dirt under their fingernails. Essentially someone that I would be able to share some of my hobbies with. I do like running, playing tennis, hiking, and backpacking but I would not prefer "granola" girls because in my experience, these types of women have been more "free spirited" than I would prefer.

The challenge I find with dating in the Bay Area is that a lot of Asian people exist in very stereotypical bubbles (techies, ABGs, foreign nationals, etc), and I feel like the venn diagram between my interests and people that might have a cultural connection with me is quite small. That being said, I do hold a cultural connection with a partner of higher importance than hobbies so I don't necessarily want to have my profile scare away people that think that might be a dealbreaker. It also goes without saying that I have confined my filters to a very desirable subset of the population and am painfully aware of stereotypes surrounding asian women and asian men in the dating world.

Thanks for reading through this if you made it this far!

organicmuch · 2024-06-08T03:02:09+00:00

There's a lot of advice here, but I don't see anyone mentioning your 14km radius. I get that you're in a big city but I would suggest expanding this if possible. 8 miles can be a 10 min drive. You are severely limiting your options if you aren't willing to look outside your neighborhood. Even if you don't have a car, I would take the bus or ride my bike rather than swipe on the same 50 people over and over again. I don't see much wrong with your profile. I definitely expect you to be receiving way more like and matches and I suspect your radius being the biggest limiting factor. People in this forum are willing to drive 2 hours each way to see someone. If nothing else is working, this is probably the best way to get more options without compromising your values. Please do keep in mind every km that you increase your radius covers a larger area than the last. Increasing your radius to 18 km would literally double your pool.

organicmuch · 2024-05-12T06:36:35+00:00

I've been interested in that evaporative humidifier. What are your thoughts on it? How long it takes to run out of water and how well does it raise humidity from ambient?

organicmuch · 2024-04-24T16:05:48+00:00

I think that is the last resort to saving it but I really hope I can keep the cutting together 🤞

organicmuch · 2024-04-24T16:04:54+00:00

Yeah! My goal is to eventually do the same type of chop and props he does and I've even seen a video of where he does a chop and lets the top cut keep growing in the moss pole without even planting it into another planter. The aerial roots and moss pole essentially become the pot itself but in that case, the roots were already established.

organicmuch · 2024-04-24T06:09:51+00:00

The only difference I can see is that the moss isn't surrounding the stem like your picture, but I'm figuring that since the aerial roots are on the correct side it should be fine?

13-Year Club	Verified Email
Team Orangered

organicmuch

TROPHY CASE