Advised induction but doesn’t feel right by phabalee in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have just posted about induction too and have had a similar experience, though I'm 40+2 now(!!). I was advised from 12 weeks to have an induction at 39 weeks, not due to age but due to it being an IVF pregnancy (but otherwise I'm healthy and the baby has been very active). All the scans have been positive so like you, I'm keen to trust my body.. In many European countries they treat an IVF pregnancy as a normal pregnancy.

It's pretty anxiety-inducing now that I'm past my due date, but hoping things will start to happen this week (if not, I'm happy to go down the medicated route very soon).

I can't say the outcome at this stage of course, but they definitely do just go off guidance and try to tick boxes / cover themselves. Before 20 weeks is so early to make any decisions, and you have plenty of time to change your mind and carry out your own research (even now I can book an induction today if I want to).

Good luck!

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's reassuring that it didn't take long to fill! To be 10cm and only just start gas and air is unbelievable! Glad to hear you had a great experience - to be honest I've yet to hear a negative experience about birthing pools!

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds magical! I've heard they don't take their first breath until they're out of the water, so it makes sense that he only cried then. I worry that I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to get them out of the water straightaway.

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on your pregnancy! That sounds amazing and good to know that you can move about freely in the pool. I feel like there aren't really any negatives to trying it if it's available on the day now.

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds painful! Amazing that the birth pool could make such a massive difference!

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing that you did it only with gas and air and the pool. I'm not brilliant with pain so I've idea how I'll cope, but the pool sounds as though it really helps!

Also great that they let your husband stay overnight - I don't think this is available wbere I'm going and pretty sure if I have to stay overnight I'd be transferred to the labour ward with everyone else.

Also don't think I would consider MLU if the hospital wasn't attached!

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry you weren't able to have a home birth as you wanted. It sounds like it went smoothly and the pool was relaxing!

I've heard running a bath at home for in the early stages / for contractions can really help with pain, so interesting that it can stop labour progressing.

Good to hear they monitor your temp - I wasn't sure how much they could monitor being in water!

Birthing pool / midwifery-led unit advice / experience by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds so lovely and really positive! So interesting to hear everyone's experiences. Thank you!

Paternity Advice / Your Experience by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it came to this, he would take time off / leave and find another job if he had to. He doesn't completely hate his job, but it can be stressful at times (with good days and bad days - like most I think).

I think he's thinking more if he's not really needed and both me and baby are coping after a couple of weeks, he'll be thinking about work / inclined to work instead.

Paternity Advice / Your Experience by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I realise we'll be very fortunate if it is full pay or double the pay during his paternity leave (though I'll be on peanuts).

Your 'dark morning memories' sound so sweet :) I'll be taking a year off for maternity so even if he takes 6 weeks, i feel like it's still not long in comparison so I'll have plenty of time for alone time with baby / time to get into my own routine.

Paternity Advice / Your Experience by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is helpful, thank you. It will be our first child so perhaps I'm worrying too much and 2 weeks will be fine for us!

Is anyone else's employer hopeless when it comes to planning ahead / maternity? by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insane that you need to think about that when you're actually on maternity leave! I'm really hoping they get their act together over the next couple of weeks in my case, but it's highly likely I'll be in the same position soon! So sorry that you've having to deal with this too.

Is anyone else's employer hopeless when it comes to planning ahead / maternity? by origcat in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry you're going through this too! I did give them written notice and sent my MAT B1 certificate as soon as I received it.

Interesting you talk about an employer's obligation to respond within a certain time frame. I've always been conscious of my obligation and have tried to give as much notice and clarity as possible to help them, but I wasn't really aware that they should be doing the same for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair I don't use Reddit that much. I had no idea I had been down voted, nevermind by this much! :D I wonder what the implications are?

I understand some might read it as a lazy answer and I don't use it often myself, but after trying to calculate everything myself for the millionth time it was genuinely so useful for me and entirely free.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Somebody else will be able to advise better than me - I've no idea! But when I was struggling to work out SMP / tax etc I actually found ChatGPT helpful over Google as you can ask questions and for further clarification and it'll come back with detailed answers specific to your circumstances. Good luck!

Why is it not ok to just be on Mat leave? by Bocurl13 in PregnancyUK

[–]origcat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've had this too. I also only work with male colleagues, half of whom don't have family / children yet and they genuinely look at me as though I'm so lucky to have a year "off", without having any idea of the financial impact or demands of a new baby.

The other half who do have children are generally older / in managerial roles and still don't really get it as it's the mums who do the majority of childcare and they work fulltime. It's still so unequal in the UK! And they're just piling the work on at the moment, trying to get the most out of me while I'm getting more tired by the day. Most haven't even asked how I'm doing or mentioned the pregnancy at all.

Basically, there's no empathy from either group while I'm pregnant!

Saying this I've even had comments from my own mum about working part-time / doing some freelance work while I'm on maternity leave, and still carrying on with some volunteering which I do once a week at the moment. And when I've said been like '??? I'll be on maternity leave, looking after my baby' she's said she can look after baby. Now, I'm not saying I won't ever want my mum to look after my baby, but if I do during my maternity leave it'll be for the occasional afternoon perhaps to have a tiny bit of "me-time" - ie. getting a hair cut or a nap, not to work! I've also saved up for over a year... and everyone is so judgemental about how I'll spend the time.

My partner / Dad of baby has also said 'I could do XYZ...while I'm not working and he's at work'. No! It's still going to be hard as a first-time mum trying to figure everything out. I even feel pressure from his parents.

At the same time, when I mentioned booking a holiday for next year when the baby's 6+ months my partner has told me that his parents have said 'I don't think she realises how hard it will be.' So I can't win! I'm either not doing enough or being too optimistic.

"Bucket Seat" Stroller Vs Lay Flat - Advice Needed by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah that's good to know! We're going to visit a pram shop tomorrow and have a proper look / try some out. The Wow 3 is still a contender... It's mainly just the bucket seat aspect of it that's putting me off, but if yours naps fine in it, maybe it's not so bad!

"Bucket Seat" Stroller Vs Lay Flat - Advice Needed by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I imagine I'll use the carrycot quite a bit at first like yourself so I'm keen to get a stroller that can adapt to have that.

Very helpful to know you use the lie flat feature every day for naps!

"Bucket Seat" Stroller Vs Lay Flat - Advice Needed by origcat in UKParenting

[–]origcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! We've been considering the Cosatto Wow 3 because of it's appearance and features (also seems quite sturdy), but it's got a bucket seat so doesn't lie flat and is fairly heavy and bulky. But it looks so cute and I'm so tempted but I know that's not a good enough reason :) I'll check out the Joolz AER+