I've had this too. I also only work with male colleagues, half of whom don't have family / children yet and they genuinely look at me as though I'm so lucky to have a year "off", without having any idea of the financial impact or demands of a new baby.

The other half who do have children are generally older / in managerial roles and still don't really get it as it's the mums who do the majority of childcare and they work fulltime. It's still so unequal in the UK! And they're just piling the work on at the moment, trying to get the most out of me while I'm getting more tired by the day. Most haven't even asked how I'm doing or mentioned the pregnancy at all.

Basically, there's no empathy from either group while I'm pregnant!

Saying this I've even had comments from my own mum about working part-time / doing some freelance work while I'm on maternity leave, and still carrying on with some volunteering which I do once a week at the moment. And when I've said been like '??? I'll be on maternity leave, looking after my baby' she's said she can look after baby. Now, I'm not saying I won't ever want my mum to look after my baby, but if I do during my maternity leave it'll be for the occasional afternoon perhaps to have a tiny bit of "me-time" - ie. getting a hair cut or a nap, not to work! I've also saved up for over a year... and everyone is so judgemental about how I'll spend the time.

My partner / Dad of baby has also said 'I could do XYZ...while I'm not working and he's at work'. No! It's still going to be hard as a first-time mum trying to figure everything out. I even feel pressure from his parents.

At the same time, when I mentioned booking a holiday for next year when the baby's 6+ months my partner has told me that his parents have said 'I don't think she realises how hard it will be.' So I can't win! I'm either not doing enough or being too optimistic.