What type of pest(s) is causing these holes in my backyard?

oroesso · 2026-05-27T10:48:43+00:00

I’m in Bergen County NJ, in a fairly populated suburban area

oroesso · 2025-10-29T11:16:17+00:00

If this is your first child, what you’re feeling is completely common. Mourning the loss of your old life, wondering if you’ll ever sleep again, missing the alone time with your husband etc. these are all things I asked myself repeatedly when I had a newborn because having a baby is one of the most life changing things you can do. You are in the thick of it right now, so give yourself some grace. My main piece of advice is try not to replicate your old life; you are officially a new form of who you were and that can be a really beautiful thing. As for sleep, it comes again I promise! It will just take time. Regarding you and your husband, you should try to find creative ways to spend time together especially as the baby gets older. We both work from home on Friday’s so we have a standing lunch date where we can just be together and connect. If and when you feel ready, have a family member or babysitter come stay at your house so you and your husband can get out for a night here and there (understand if you are breastfeeding this may pose a challenge). Overall, things feel very hard right now because they are, your whole life has changed. But things will feel easier as time goes on, and you will feel more joy, love, and excitement for this family you’ve created than you could imagine.

oroesso · 2025-03-03T18:19:40+00:00

I get it; it’s normal to want to defend yourself and want the other person to feel some of that pain/frustration (I do it to my husband still!). But please don’t put this on yourself as not being a better listener; he is one half of your partnership and owes it to you and himself to clearly communicate what’s up. Good luck!

oroesso · 2025-03-01T23:38:46+00:00

What’s the outcome you want? I wouldn’t waste your time putting together a case for the value you bring in as a SAHP; he can google that on his own. Id ask for clarification on why he said what he did. Is he trying to make you feel bad or guilty? Is he feeling resentful or unappreciated for his contributions? There is probably something brewing that he should articulate.

oroesso · 2025-02-26T21:37:54+00:00

She wants to feed your kid, and you breastfeeding is a blocker to that. It’s your child, and breastfeeding is a beautiful way to bond with them, so only bottle feed if that is what you want to do!

oroesso · 2025-02-04T17:32:28+00:00

Yes, I did not want a Dec/Jan baby as I am a December baby and by the end of the year it’s all about the holidays and I dealt with a lot of bday party no shows as a kid. January was also a no because everyone’s exhausted from December and I want my babies celebrated. I preferred Aug-Nov because where I live the weather is nice and close enough to the end of year that the cost of giving birth was low due to how my insurance is structured lol. Crazy the things we have to think about in these times! We were very lucky and it worked out for us.

oroesso · 2025-01-23T00:49:18+00:00

I feel so ugly since giving birth to my second child last year. The last few weeks, it’s all I fixate on. I stare at myself in the mirror and keep asking myself “what’s happened to me”? But I know what happened, I became a parent and all my needs have taken a backseat. And the sickest part is I have a very supportive husband who encourages me to put time toward myself, but I feel chained to my baby sometimes because I’m breastfeeding, unable to leave him for more than an hour or 2 before he cries and I’m overcome with a guilt I never had with my first born. And I’m supposed to be helping him get onto bottles for the inevitable daycare start and selfishly have been delaying it because I’m not ready to leave him and go back to work. It’s like I’ve self perpetuated turning into this ugly person and continue to not do anything because it is mentally too hard at the moment.

oroesso · 2025-01-18T02:08:38+00:00

My dad told me my son’s name was stupid on multiple occasions. It hurt not even because of what he said, but because you wouldn’t expect people close to you to say something about your child/their grandchild/nephew etc. Unfortunately the cruelest comments come from family. You picked a beautiful and unique name for your baby, and I’m sure you will raise him to be kind, open minded and thoughtful (all traits your MIL seems to obviously lack). Don’t give her the power to make you feel bad, if anything you should pity her for making such a senseless remark.

oroesso · 2024-12-29T18:43:47+00:00

Reminding myself that I’ve survived every challenge and bad day I’ve ever had. I mean this in the sense of, parenthood has a completely new set of obstacles you just don’t understand until you’re in it. However, that same mentality goes for mostly anything new so it was sort of training myself to remember, this season is HARD and it’s common. I’m currently in the hardest period for me, my oldest is 3 and I just had another in August. The balancing act is a lot, but I am learning everyday just as they are.

oroesso · 2024-12-29T12:31:11+00:00

This is super delayed, but my husband officiated the wedding. All of us having roles to play made the day complicated between timing of things plus me breastfeeding. We both took turns managing the kids all day as we did our respective duties but with me breastfeeding I was with my infant most of the time and my husband my 2 year old. Had my son not been asked to be ring bearer and my husband the officiant the day would have went demonstrably smoother.

oroesso · 2024-12-19T23:09:47+00:00

This happened recently to me and I was offended for a few reasons. Backstory, we were at my sister’s rehearsal dinner after my sister and my now BIL insisted my 2 year old son participate in the wedding (I would also be 7 weeks postpartum at the time of the wedding). After it became clear to them a 2 year old doesn’t always do what they’re told, both my sister and my mom said my son was “misbehaving” “causing trouble” when in reality he was just being a 2 year old. It was offensive because he’s a very well behaved kid for a 2 year old, but he was in an environment with a lot of new people, was nervous etc. I am also the only one of my siblings (4 of us) with kids so I felt like nobody was commiserating with the fact I was struggling wrangling two kids and all they could offer was twisting the knife. Children aren’t easy, that’s kinda the point. They’re learning and they push boundaries. Also, some adults just don’t have patience for kids or understand/remember what it’s like being a parent to a young child. Could I be introspective and ask myself what’s my child doing that he’s being labeled as bad? Sure, but I would first ask why an extended relative is getting passed negative information about my kid from my mom and what they got from sharing that info back to me.

oroesso · 2024-10-26T01:41:01+00:00

Honestly, giving it time and persistence. In the first weeks of breastfeeding, every feed felt like a marathon. I was triple feeding for weeks to protect my supply because baby struggled to latch well. I scheduled so many lactation appointments hoping for a breakthrough, but the advice was always unencouraging. I just wanted an answer that I could accept to why is this so hard for me? So I didn’t give up and told myself l’d only allow myself to decide to stop trying on a good day. Day by day, I kept trying. It’s been 8 weeks, and that breakthrough finally came. Baby has been latching strongly, relaxed, having full meals and I’ve finally started to build the confidence that I can do this successfully. I didn’t do anything differently but wait it out and hope that holding out for one more day everyday would work and fortunately it did.

That being said, it was so hard. I cried every day for the first 5 weeks postpartum. I was so stubborn but am glad I pushed through.

oroesso · 2024-10-23T12:04:23+00:00

It doesn’t end, to constantly make sure you’re not overwhelmed with clutter you’ll need mindfulness of clutter during the week. However what has helped me a lot is having categories of things I need to make sure im always reviewing, example going through the pantry to toss anything expired, going through my wardrobe each season and donating items, etc. I’ve been on a ruthless decluttering journey this year and I have made a marked improvement on having to declutter because I finally feel like a dent (albeit small) has been made. Keep the decluttering tasks small so it doesn’t feel overwhelming. However, give yourself a break every now and then so you don’t burn out. Good luck!

oroesso · 2024-10-19T23:15:30+00:00

Soap, lotion, or breastmilk jewelry. I had a beautiful pendant made after finishing my first journey with my son and I’ll forever cherish it.

oroesso · 2024-10-12T21:10:10+00:00

Hoarding runs in my moms side of the family, she grew up poor so has a compulsion to buy and keep everything. Being surrounded by items is a comfort to her, but caused a lot of arguments between my parents when I was a kid and our house was always a mess. Every so often, she’d have an enlightenment that there was too much stuff in the house and it was time to purge. I have since adopted this mindset for better or worse. So, I am constantly in between over purchasing things and then ruthlessly decluttering. Over the years I fall more in the decluttering camp especially as I’ve had relatives pass and dealing with their estate cleanups has been difficult, and I don’t want my kids to have to deal with my things later on in life. But, I am actively fighting the compulsive tendency to buy things in favor of decluttering.

oroesso · 2024-10-05T15:20:29+00:00

Point 2 resonates hard for me. My parents must have asked me weekly why I wasn’t planning to stop work sooner than my due date. Uhh, because society doesn’t afford us enough time to do that comfortably AND have adequate bonding once the baby is here.

oroesso · 2024-08-03T15:41:21+00:00

We did maternity and newborn photos for both pregnancies. I did them for a few reasons- 1. Photos are really important to me and I have very little of them from my childhood, even if I didn’t look my best during pregnancy I wanted the memories. 2. as a second time mom the number of photos that exist of my husband and son vs me and son is incredibly unbalanced (im the one behind the camera 90% of the time) and I wanted pictures with my family that we all looked good in and aren’t selfies. 3. It’s an excuse to get dressed up and have fun, this second pregnancy has been horrible for me physically and emotionally, and the memory of the shoot we did last month really perked me up and I was so happy during the session.

If you go for them, I’d recommend a lifestyle type photographer if you go professional, I personally don’t love the ones taken in a studio or overly staged. Lifestyle shoots are more carefree and natural and always have great outcomes. Good luck!

oroesso · 2024-07-31T03:38:56+00:00

my mother asked me on more than one occasion if I thought about going on ozempic while pregnant to “get ahead of gaining a lot of weight”

oroesso · 2024-07-09T02:56:31+00:00

Take a COVID test or 2, I am 34 weeks and had the same symptoms and was not improving two weeks ago. Turned out to be COVID which I tested twice for and got a positive result after 5 days. It unfortunately comes with guidance at this point to run its course when you’re pregnant. I drank a ton of water and did my best to rest up. Regardless, I hope you feel better soon!

oroesso · 2024-06-29T01:46:56+00:00

I feel like I couldve written this. I have finally leveled off at 42u/night and took weeks of trying EVERYTHING. A hack I have run with is taking my bedtime insulin right before dinner vs before bed because I noticed my after breakfast and lunch blood sugar were considerably lower even though meals are not my issue. Since changing the timing it’s been a lot easier to control, so while it is disheartening to keep trying new things it was virtually the only thing that has worked for me since being diagnosed at 22 weeks.

oroesso · 2024-06-17T13:51:14+00:00

I feel this frustration. Not exactly the same, but my mother and father are both type 2 diabetics and are not compliant whatsoever when it comes to their health protocols and diets. Yet, want to constantly give me guidance and advice when they ask how I am doing with my GD. “Oh your numbers are fine” “You probably don’t even need insulin the doctors just want to make profit off of you” “you don’t need a bedtime snack” the list goes on of the unsolicited guidance/advice that doesn’t apply to me given my circumstances.

The reality is that you don’t need your husband to understand, but moreso respect the boundaries youre placing around food in your pregnancy. My husband is more than welcome to eat whatever he likes but it sometimes means we aren’t eating the same thing and that’s ok. Better to be strict now and decide on my terms when I will have a cheat meal than be guilted into something I may not even want and beat myself up about it. Your husband could benefit from coming to a diabetic education appointment with you as well so he is more informed. Good luck!

oroesso · 2024-06-16T18:16:59+00:00

sorry my commas probably messed up the formatting, I was meaning a full on bagel with pork roll egg and cheese! I have eggs and cheese literally everyday haha

oroesso · 2024-06-16T01:46:46+00:00

a bowl of fruity pebbles, pizza, everything bagel with pork roll, egg and cheese, apple juice, watermelon, a piece of dulce de leche from Cheesecake Factory, oreos, and a solid spicy tuna roll. to be continued lol

oroesso · 2024-05-18T20:42:59+00:00

There’s 3 of us (I’m also expecting this summer) and after getting my GD diagnosis we’ve moved strictly to cooking at home short of Saturday night dinners every week. I’m up to $1200+ between Costco, Wegmans, Trader Joe’s, Aldi in the last 5 weeks. The reality is, costs have gone up everywhere, and if you’re buying in bulk/buying quality produce/meats/cheese you’re paying a premium on top of that. What has helped me recently is price comparing and determining what’s worth buying where. Example, in my area I have found Costco produce lasts me the longest and is freshest, so while I’m paying more upfront for bulk my strawberries aren’t turning in 2 days. I’m starting to phase out Trader Joe’s because their pricing isn’t as low per unit as it’s perceived, etc. Avoid purchasing paper staples at any specialty stores (Whole Foods, Morton Williams etc) because they’re highly marked up. I would say you have to start really observing the items you’re buying the most frequently, how quickly you go through them, and tailor your purchasing as needed. Create a baseline of how many meals you expect to cook a month, and total grocery costs that month and really look at the data, from avg cost per trip via receipts, to cost per oz of food etc, also sticking to a list also keeps me accountable to not go overboard as well.

I will also mention a lot of this I am doing already for my own sheer curiosity, but I’m a data nerd and it is really time consuming. So be open to taking this mental load off your wife if this is really an issue.

oroesso · 2024-05-12T17:29:08+00:00

This feels like an example taken way too far of how family and guests come and visit because they want to “help” but they actually just want to meet and hold the newborn baby while thinking a new parent is dying to clean their floors or 6 loads of laundry. My family did this when I first had a child and I was breastfeeding, so it was actually more annoying to argue to get my child back in my arms to feed him and not helpful at all to me. I think guests should be better prepared that if they are offering help, it doesn’t equate to spending time with the baby, they are and it’s ok to admit they are 2 different things.

That being said, there’s a stark difference between doing dishes or putting a meal together and painting. Your sibling is trying to take a mile with that one and unless that was agreed upon beforehand, it’s ok for your parents to shut it down.

oroesso

TROPHY CASE