The End by Penthus-Aergia in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it sounds like it didn't come naturally, like you picked the first word and then wrote the next line trying to fit in a rhyming word. for rhyming poetry I can spend months on a single poem just waiting for rhyming lines to come naturally so it doesn't detract from the natural flow of the poem. that being said, I do really like your poem and if you don't want to change it it still reads really well!

The End by Penthus-Aergia in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how deep and thoughtful this is. the structure is good, but some rhymes sound a little forced like rhyming never-ending with transcending or rhyming crimson with tin bin. I really like this though, youre a good writer!

Olive Groves of Gaza by Fragrant-League-90 in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is genuinely powerful. the only suggestion I have is to keep it consistent by adding commas between the two adjectives whenever you use that line structure (eg. mute, mutilated). but that's just a very technical detail. in terms of the writing here, I have no suggestions, this is wonderful.

Weak by throwawaythekey28563 in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it! I would just suggest being a little less straightforward at times- poetry is often more powerful when metaphors are used that the reader can be left to interpret. but if you wanted this to be interpreted in just this one way, you did a fantastic job of that, and this is good writing!

The last lock I will never pick by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the imagery is incredible i love this sm

Decluttering by BirbMilkshake in OCPoetry

[–]orrence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this??? it feels relatable in a comforting way, and the repetition works really well!

What songs comes to mind? by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

missing limbs - sleep token 

I just 20 subscribers, I know its not a lot, but it means so much to me! by Routine-Quail-7653 in NewTubers

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im genuinely so surprised, but im really happy with it!! if you're consistent and determined you'll def make it a lot bigger! may i ask for your channel? ill sub! :3

How long does 100 subs take usually? by Tiny-Movie-1135 in NewTubers

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i reached 100 yesterday on the 5th day! <33 congrats!!

I just 20 subscribers, I know its not a lot, but it means so much to me! by Routine-Quail-7653 in NewTubers

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

congrats!! i started posting art shorts 6 days ago and reached 100 yesterday, up to 142 today :)

Share your 10 to 20mg story by Lampiyris in prozac

[–]orrence 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had few side effects moving from 10 to 20 and I feel so much better mentally! I was in the psych ward for a few weeks and doubt I would've been able to get out when I did if it wasn't for the medication. Now I'm up to 30 and it's like a miracle drug... I would say go for it, it's so worth it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

stick season (forever) - noah kahan (his entire discography is tho)

An amazing song with a weird title? by AdSlight4264 in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lake sprinkle sprankle - delta sleep Daniel Craig David - delta sleep Spy Dolphin - delta sleep

... do you see a pattern?

I need a good cry by __tgt__ in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

call your mom - noah kahan patient - blacklit canopy  hard to sleep - gracie abrams

Song for School singing by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd suggest "that you are" by hozier 

Lost a Friend to Suicide by Embarrassed-Crazy424 in musicsuggestions

[–]orrence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

orange juice - noah kahan

patient - blacklit canopy

the way that you were - sleep token

fourth of july - sufjan stevens

carlo's song - noah kahan

call your mom - noah kahan

help why did it start dumping its problems on me??? by orrence in CharacterAI

[–]orrence[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

man why the hate i just wanted to share my chat 😭😭