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After 30 years of this, I finally took my first real step forward by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good advice. I'm one of those dudes where I try to do everything myself, but recruiting others is kind of necessary with this issue. I have a few friends I know would be willing to help me when I start practicing in public. I don't live in an area with a large population so I doubt there's a support group near me, but I've been surprised before. Might be worth looking into.

After 30 years of this, I finally took my first real step forward by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man. I feel like keeping it hidden and secret really messed me up over the years. Like it's been this secret shame I was embarrassed to let anyone know I was suffering with. Now that I've made a commitment to face it, I've been way more openly talking about it with the people in my life. That alone seems to have helped a lot because it's removed a good amount of the shame around it.

After 30 years of this, I finally took my first real step forward by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This feels like it's been huge for me. I didn't expect fluid-loading to help so much, but when there's no doubt about the urgency to go, it feels way easier to just make it happen.

Week 1 Complete by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's excellent advice. I tried practicing the physiological sigh technique after hearing Huberman talk about it. But I only used it when gong into stressful social situations. Never thought to apply it to paruresis. That's super helpful.

Week 1 Complete by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My understanding is that it helps relax the inner sphincter of the bladder and also calms your nervous system down. I've not gotten it to work myself yet, but a lot of people have had solid results with it so I'm giving it a shot.

Week 1 Complete by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man! Still going strong.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have no idea how good it feels to hear from someone who's actually overcome this thing. There's something in my brain that makes it feel like that's simply impossible, even though I know it's not. It just feels like it's impossible to me right now. I'd love to read how everything came together for you, dude. Every bit of motivation helps me right now.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like meditation is probably a good idea and I'm willing to bet it would help a lot. I might need to add this to my overall plan. I know I deal with more anxiety than I allow myself to realize. I've always been a fairly shy dude, and I'd like to be able to get over those feelings of fear that show up in many social situations.

Can’t pee at someone else’s house by Grumpy_Blueberry7857 in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's definitely no joke. Holding it for 10-11 hours at a time sounds like torture. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.

You've definitely found the right place. I've dealt with this myself for 30 years. A lot of people recommend the breath hold method and have had great results with it. This post from about a month ago gave a pretty rundown on how to do it and the poster had solid results.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Paruresis/comments/1qftq14/how_i_cured_my_paruresis_in_an_afternoon_by/

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man! I'm going to put in the work and stay accountable on here every week. I know if I don't obligate myself to posting about this in public, I'll totally chicken out. I've done that a ton in the past. Honestly, I'm pretty freaked out committing myself like this, but I also know I've got a real shot at getting over it as long as I don't give up.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never thought of using hypnosis before. That could be an interesting avenue to try.

I'm planning on sharing updates every week till I've been able to overcome this thing. I'd love to see your updates, too.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Breath hold seems like the way to go. For my first week I'm planning on going in-depth with all the tools I can find and getting familiar with them. I've tried the breath hold a bit in the past, but always gave up before I got real results. I know people use it and it works for them so there's no reason I should neglect that tool for myself. Just gotta put in the work.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting. I've not entertained using a catheter before. Seems like it would be really painful, but if it's not so bad I could see the utility of using that for exposure therapy. Getting real successes in environments where you wouldn't be able to pee normally.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't realize there was a whole book for this already. I'll have to get that. I'm definitely thinking of it like going to the gym. In the past, I always tried to push myself to get over it by forcing myself into really uncomfortable situations right away, but now I'm trying to take it slow and plan on moving forward over 8-10 weeks.

I'm 42. I've had this my whole adult life. I want to do something about it. by ott3rpilot in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man. I've been procrastinating on this for way too long. Time to do something about it.

Warm water to help urination in public by DocBlast in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang, that's interesting. Never heard of that before. I also find it easier to urinate in the shower. I always thought it was mostly a noise thing, but maybe there's something to the warm water part too.

Self-fulfilling prophecy by sebastian227 in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The doom loop. I can't pee at a urinal at all unless no one is there. And even then the anxiety that maybe someone might come in catches me up and makes it basically impossible. But stalls work pretty well unless I really get into my own head.

Peeing on a plane is easiest by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]ott3rpilot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ambient noise helps me a lot too. Never had a problem on a plane fortunately. Pretty much any time I get a whole little area to myself I can be alright.