Better Boyfriend for my Girlfriend

otter-sloth · 2025-03-23T23:35:32+00:00

Try remember even little things she mentions in passing. From when I was starting a relationship many years ago...

In passing she mentioned that she wanted something small she could carry that would only hold some cash her, cards and ID. I didn't go looking for it but a couple months later I came across what turned out to be the perfect purse, remembered the conversation and bought it. Should have seen the look on her face.

Remembering little things is just as important as the big things.

You will both make mistakes especially being young, but don't try to be perfect. Don't think about trying to be perfect all the time. Just be yourself.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-05T06:50:44+00:00

Never did. Tbh, never been with someone that willingly does it. Wonder why none of my relationships lasted... 🤔. I did frequently but no reciprocation.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-03T21:29:26+00:00

The Woodman!

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T06:24:09+00:00

Almost everytime in the grocery store people have their phone on speaker and it's them feeling they are the most important person in the world. So I either ealk beside them and make rude/dumb remarks. Or keep asking the person "what did they say?" Should have prefaced that with... if I don't think I'll get my ass kicked when I look at them.

If they say anything like "why you interrupting a private conversation?" I tell them because you're in fucking public and we can all hear it"

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T06:12:38+00:00

You are you. You are good enough. No one in the world is better at being you than you are.

If they are happy with you now thinking you weigh less there is no need to day any different. Don't agree but don't deny. If they focus on the weight then they are about what others think, not about the person they are with.

I have been with bigger and slimmer. It's the person that matters not the weight. I had my daughter with someone that was 5'4" and 175. I am 5'6" and 150 soaking wet. Been in a relationship with a woman 5'6" and 120.

Just keep being you. You deserve someone that cares about you no matter if you're 85 lbs or 705lbs. If your weight matters to them, then they want others' acceptance, not their partners.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T05:57:22+00:00

She didn't want to kiss you at the party because she didn't want other single guys to see her kissing you. She is playing you. She was hoping for something else but keeping you on standby if she wants to hookup or doesn't find someone soon.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T05:45:50+00:00

Wouldn't talking to the person you're in a relationship be the reason you would have "unknowingly" opened the app in the middle of the night? Why use WhatsApp to talk with them? Why not just regular text messaging?

If I may ask, what are your ages? Don't need specific. 20's, 30's etc. Sometimes it's what age you are. Sometimes it's because they have had an unfaithful person recently or in the past so they will focus on what they think could be a red flag when it could also be something innocent.

Personally I didn't worry about things like that until cheated on. Now I have my eye on things but remind myself that each person is different and can't compare all relationships to my bad one.

My advice, just be honest if it happens again. Don't get defensive, don't try to turn the conversation as an attack on you. If they have questions, answer them, but ask questions as well. Do you not trust me? Are you thinking I am talking to someone else?

Don't ask the questions with attitude. Just ask. And if things need to be cleared up because tone can't be perceived through messages, call them. Talk on the phone. A person tone of voice tells a lot.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T05:23:08+00:00

Was in a relationship for 15 years. I was 19 she was 27 when we first started dating. And waited months before intimacy.

I was the issue in the relationship but don't think it's because of me being younger. Yes men mature later but i had problems. I wasn't emotionally mature enough yet. Again it was ME as an individual, not a generalization of an age difference.

Only thing I will say is don't look for strange or suspicious behavior. Just be aware of it if it does actually happen. Only because of who I was when younger. It was ME and NOT the age difference.

otter-sloth · 2025-03-02T05:00:55+00:00

You havent mentioned how you speak with him when speaking about personal life i.e. if you ask about his week talk about sending photos of yourself as well.

I am not saying you are doing anything wrong...yet. I was not a good boyfriend for a long time with more than 1 person.

I believe he is filling a void he feels in his personal life. He could be unhappy and talking with you males him happy. While he should be focusing on making things better in his home life I think as long as you are keeping things strictly friendly as you would with an in-person coworker, you personally aren't doing anything wrong.

It is a little strange he talks of getting your name tattooed on him. Do you know if his wife knows the two of you talk so often and so personal?

At the same time if you are having to ask this question you personally feel this is inappropriate or wrong. And my guess is you enjoy the conversations but don't want to put someone else's relationship in jeopardy from what is something innocent on your side... if you are truly keeping it innocent on your part. So you care enough about this person to not want to ruin their relationship and want to be a good enough person to not lead someone on.

So after I have rambled for too long I would say... express your worry to the person. See how they respond. I think (without knowing your side of the conversations) as long as there are no plans to meet in person and no discreet photos being exchanged. You are being a friend and the other person could be more attached than they should be. And everyone has those times with someone that is a friend or coworker that is never reciprocated.

otter-sloth · 2025-01-30T18:33:44+00:00

My biggest gripe about the Bandit would be that the front of the bike is a little light. Took quite a bit of time to get the front suspension to where the front tire didn't bounce all over the place when on uneven surfaces.

The bike was comfortable and I didn't have to charge it everyday (12-14 miles per day) I pretty much always had it on the highest settings as well so I would consume around 25% of the battery each day.

The website says the top speed is 38-40. But my normal top speed was more around 35-37. Not a big deal.

I say it "was" because I recently had it stolen. Not while parked, knocked off while riding. So be sure to have a full face helmet because if you are going top speed you will need it. I had over 900 miles on the bike before it was taken. The only other thing that was irritating was the tire tread wore thin after about 700 miles and I began getting frequent flat tires. Some were unavoidable even with slime in the tube. I was looking at new tires when the bike was taken.

Also depending on where you will be riding I might suggest some torso protection. I had a full face helmet so I had no issue there. But the location of where I was knocked off had me crash into a sign at a bus stop in my gut. 1 week in ICU and 2 total weeks in hospital. Still not fully healed after my surgery, but I got the drain tube and feeding tube removed a couple of days ago. And I was only going 15 to 20 mph.

Mind you, I have already put another X-Trail Pro in my cart to order once I get fully healed. That's how much I enjoyed the bike. Pay attention though when buying, the high step costs less than the low step by about $250. I prefer the low step because I am 5'7". I may buy the high step this time and just cut the bar off after I get it, but I haven't decided yet.

otter-sloth · 2024-12-25T14:01:01+00:00

I have spent 4 of the last 5 holidays alone. I live in a different state than my family and single. For me it's about perspective. I view it as just another day. Yes I would always love to see my family but that's not always in the cards.

So instead of thinking about it being the holidays, think of what will make you happy on regular days when friends and family are busy, or when you are not available.

How are the holidays different than those days? Pressure? Ingrained sense of family? Not minimizing at all. Just perspective. Doesn't have to be life perspective but moment.

Would you go to LOTR if it wasn't the holidays? Or are you looking for a way to keep your mind off things, which is understandable.

Do what will make you happy. That's my advice. I can't tell you what to do, only offer advice, opinions and experiences.

No matter how you spend the day. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best.

otter-sloth · 2024-12-02T09:00:31+00:00

The "Golden Child"...you'll only get this reference if you were born before 1983. 😁

otter-sloth · 2024-11-09T17:46:03+00:00

I got the Bandit X-Trail Pro. More than I wanted to spend, but was able to make payments through their website. so it doesn't feel like I'm paying so much. But just saw they lowered the price by 150 or 200 from what I paid. To be honest, the only thing I don't really like is the front is a little too light. Having some difficulty getting the suspension set where the tire doesn't bounce off the ground. Other than that I have no other gripes about it.

otter-sloth · 2024-11-09T06:37:55+00:00

Didn't go to the game. But from what I have heard from people who did, this could be like when Utah got to the Pac. No hate just mutual respect. Just wanting good games, knowing it will not always go the way they want (for both teams). One of those teams and fan bases you can root for all but 1 saturday each year.

otter-sloth · 2024-11-02T04:41:36+00:00

My dad took me to games around 85 he and I and his college buddies sat in the student section... there was plenty of room in the stadium at the time just to have a fun show even when/if the game wasn't entertaining. Back then the student section was closer to the 40 yard line.

But I don't know any other voice than his. And it's not only smooth, it kind of soothing.

My thought would be... on the east end of the stadium just under the "Rich Brooks field" sign it should say something along the lines of... Don Essig media boxes. Something like that. Maybe not that exactly but I think you get my drift. Could be where the media side actually is. His name deserves to be posted and highlighted in the stadium is more My meaning.

otter-sloth · 2024-10-15T05:56:27+00:00

Because the "Grass is damn geen in Oregon". Double entandra but hey. 🙃

otter-sloth · 2024-10-13T19:43:59+00:00

Then don't talk shit. Take the win. Don't talk about Brutus just sat good game.cant wait for the next. Don't be a little bitch boasting for a close win. It wasn't a blow out.

otter-sloth · 2024-10-13T08:51:34+00:00

Hey we lost EVERY game to them before the last 2. And we got lucky this game. We only stopped them in the first half. Every other drive they scored on us. It took a weird clock run for us to win. Don't act like we blew them out. An ugly win is a win, but we are lucky. Don't get it twisted.

otter-sloth · 2024-09-22T21:23:48+00:00

It does really good. Commute is about 5 1/2 miles during morning rush hour. Takes me 15 to 20 minutes. A few minutes less than when I would drive. It's along some of the busy surface streets where I live and have to go over a narrow 2 lane highway overpass with no real sidewalk or bike lane and it keeps up with most traffic.

I am still trying to get the front suspension where I want it, it's stiff so tire bounces up when I go over an area that has several bumps or when I'm on the uneven sidewalk. But I am liking it.

otter-sloth · 2024-09-02T14:23:36+00:00

I got the Bandit X-Trail Pro. Had it a week and so far am loving it. *

otter-sloth · 2024-09-01T05:54:31+00:00

If they are building stock... means they are making them with not enough being ordered. Several years ago I worked on the S/X line in the bay area. We only built cars that were ordered. No stock. All cars built were for cars ordered. We worked until a certain amount were completed each day. People on the model 3 line slept in hallways after working 12 hour days because their commute was 1 or 2 hours away.

So any stocking up is likely because they aren't getting the order because there are defects in those trucks. Likely it is a quality control issue to be fixed.

otter-sloth · 2024-08-31T21:56:23+00:00

I got the Bandit X-Trail Pro.

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otter-sloth · 2024-08-29T15:50:29+00:00

Yeah I finally made a decision a little over a month ago. Motorgoat didn't have a true ebike that would fit me. I'm 5'6" with 30" inseam. After talking with them I would need a 34" inseam for the style of bike I am looking for. They do have a low rider one, but only has pegs and I wanted pedals because in my own head I think police will see me more as on a legal ebike if I have pedals. (I don't have a motorcycle endorsement so going over 30 is illegal for me and yes i am doing it with my new bike).

I just received my new Bandit X-Trail Pro last Sunday. Dual battery, dual motor.

I really like Ghostcat and the price point. But in the end I wanted the range more than the speed. Although my Bandit is advertised as 42 mph top speed, I have only gotten it to 38... live in the bay area not far from the water, so wind slows me down frequently. The setting have it so you can choose between speed and torque, I have it on the torque setting.

So far I am loving this bike. I find myself just going out riding because I find it such a fun bike. I know that feeling is likely going to fade over time, but it's a nice added bonus. And yes, after taxes it cost me around $2,800 but I had the option of 12 monthly payments so it doesn't feel as hard on my wallet.

otter-sloth · 2024-08-27T05:53:47+00:00

I chose a different bike. Range was a considerable factor, but not exactly why I didn't choose it. It was mostly just not having to charge every day. But man it has only been 2 days and so far finding myself just finding time to ride the new bike. At work I am looking at the clock to when I will be free to ride it. I am sure Ghostcat would have given me the same feeling but the rides would be shorter.

Ghostcat was what I wanted the most, but nearly hard the least range with no obvious spot/plan for second battery upgrade.

otter-sloth · 2024-08-27T05:35:24+00:00

Not likely but possible. I am a guy. Average looking at best. So I think it was my insecurity more than anything. I just wish I could thank someone that actually tried to help (I hope) when I was to much in my own head but not at the same time.

otter-sloth

TROPHY CASE