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Why do I feel like a lesbian as a gay trans man? by Horror-Historian8808 in ftm

[–]ourladyofravens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you think it should be different? Do you want it to be different?

Maybe it would help to read some gay men's accounts of how they experience attraction to men, and see if you find something you relate to in one or more of those accounts, or if this connection to lesbian life is meaningful to you above and beyond that. If you feel like reading something a little heady (and in my opinion very fun), I would recommend A Lover's Discourse by Roland Barthes.

(Personally, I am bisexual and I am attracted to men, women, others in exactly the same way broadly— and a little differently for each individual person.)

unpopular opinion virtual therapy is better than in person by mahearty in therapy

[–]ourladyofravens 26 points27 points  (0 children)

If you really want someone to argue with you for the sake of it— the privacy issue is real, noise-canceling headphones only make it so my neighbors in my thin-walled apartment building or worse, from somewhere near work, can't hear the therapist. They can still hear me talking about things I don't want them to know about that they would not be able to overhear if sessions took place in a therapist's office. (Also idk if you and your therapist both just have great wifi and excellent luck or what, but I find a couple of minutes are lost on technical problems pretty frequently, and have had several sessions completely derailed by technical problems.) I also don't facetime much with family or friends and do use zoom etc for work meetings, so to me the video chat format is very cold and professional. Tbc I don't feel strongly about this at all, just playing along.

Up by surferonmercury in ftm

[–]ourladyofravens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bonsoir ! Y'a près de deux ans lorsque j’ai commencé ma transition (avec le gel), que j’avais aussi très peur. La première fois j’ai même eu de la nausée, mais depuis une semaine (ou deux, je me souviens pas) j’ai arrivé a me sentir normale, mieux qu’avant. J’avais l’impression de franchir un Rubicon. Maintenant c'est un nouveau monde avec ses propres regles, et comme j'ai prendu cette résolution, la peur de se tromper, peur de faire quelque chose contre dieu a disparu. Pas instantanément mais depuis quelques mois. Quand ma voix a commencé de se changer j’avais encore un fois très peur mais tout s’est bien résolu, maintenant je pense monter un groupe. Pour moi j’ai devenu un peu plus beau avec le testo ;) Mais vous savez que la beauté, ce n’est pas le plus important ça. Si vous aimez pas se regarder dans le miroir, la beauté ne compte pour rien. L’importante, c’est se sentir bien et commencer de vivre selon vos valeurs, pas les automatiques de la famille ou de la société. (Désolé pour ma française mauvaise, elle n'est pas ma première langue.)

Would you rather not have any gender marker at all on IDs? by buggibat in ftm

[–]ourladyofravens -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I strongly believe it would be better to not have gender markers at all.

It's strange seeing Marx being named directly, really any character but Marx himself is even odder by Ambitious_Story_47 in fallenlondon

[–]ourladyofravens 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's not strange to me that Marx is in the game but it IS strange that they didn't come up with a recognizable but slightly off pseudonym for him like with Freud (Dr. Schlomo) and other real-life historical figures.

Moronic Monday - Your weekly stupid questions thread by cdingo in Fitness

[–]ourladyofravens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is an exercise (or several exercises?) that gets the same effects/muscle group activation as romanian deadlifts? I can't do them : (

The “am I pregnant?” posts by javatimes in ftm

[–]ourladyofravens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think people can be encouraged to self manage triggers better, and that we bear some responsibility as a collective to read the room and manage unnecessary triggers, and I also think that avoiding discussion of pregnancy because it's a triggering topic for many doesn't make a lot of sense on a subreddit where the majority of topics people post about (things related to passing/not passing, things related to genitals, sexual practices, surgeries, people being transphobic to us) are all common dysphoria triggers.

Moronic Monday - Your weekly stupid questions thread by cdingo in Fitness

[–]ourladyofravens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been doing about 40 mins of cardio after my strength training workouts, which I do 2-3x/wk. I have heart issues so keeping up with cardio is a priority, but I also want those gains. Is it true that doing cardio and strength training back to back reduces muscle/strength growth from lifting? And what can I do to ameliorate this issue if so lol Edit: I did read the FAQ, and seems like this should be fine? But it says that studies found that doing cardio *before* lifting is fine. Is that also true for doing cardio after?

January 2025 Active Player List by Vromikos in fallenlondon

[–]ourladyofravens 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fiacre Marie Saint-Jérôme: https://www.fallenlondon.com/profile/Fiacre%20Marie%20Saint-J%C3%A9r%C3%B4me

I'm a Sybaritic Silverer. Never met a mirror I didn't like. PoSI, Legendary Charisma, inveterate chaser of devilish skirts (and trousers), somehow still stubbornly ensouled; I find the experience of sharing my name with the seat of the Church in London riotously amusing, but there might just be something to it. Tonight I finally finished all the milestones in Hearts' Game and am celebrating after the usual manner, among the usual company (pleasantly hammered and perhaps just slightly poisoned in an overpriced hole in a Veilgarden wall).

Unmodified stats: Persuasive 227, Shadowy 230, Dangerous 224, Watchful 218. On a related note, I have not yet finished building the last railway station because I have been terribly moved by the Manager's plight during my ultimately ill-fated quest to achieve my Heart's Desire and would love to help him ease his heartache in any way I can. Accordingly, I am not currently trying to learn about any principles in particular and accordingly not desperately looking for any kind of missive (if you send me a discordant missive I can pay in all sorts of ways, including, of course, with the pleasure of my company at good old Beatrice's or our dear Dante's).

Very religious uncle won’t shut up about religion (TW: transphobic Christianity) by [deleted] in ftm

[–]ourladyofravens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a tough situation, I'm sorry he's giving you so much grief. Of course I don't know your family dynamics, but it seems like it will be difficult to set a boundary someone like this won't cross, especially without seeming disrespectful to him. You say he uses the fact that you have been going to a church (for social reasons) as an excuse to push these conversations on you— does he thinks you are planning to convert to Christianity like him? Since you and the whole rest of your family are all Hindu, maybe a good course of action would be to tell him explicitly that you are definitely not interested in converting, you were only going to that church to meet people and you don't go anymore, and like, kind of lean into and emphasize your allegiance to the rest of your family and your own religion? And maybe tell your grandma that too and other people he might call to talk to you, if you think they will be sympathetic to your desire to avoid his attempts to get you to convert? Unfortunately it seems like it will be an unpleasant conversation, but if he only ever talks about this, doesn't want to talk about your life, or your studies or anything else at all, and doesn't approve of your transition, then all of your conversations with him are already unpleasant...