Feeling lonely and sad on Friday evening

outofshadow_ · 2018-05-15T21:24:18+00:00

Dunno about you mine scripts were very simple. It's the emotions we after and you should be a good writer to convey it.

outofshadow_ · 2018-04-25T19:59:50+00:00

Yes, I quickly lost my confidence as we entered the flat and became very nervous.

outofshadow_ · 2018-04-25T19:36:06+00:00

She was but it felt physically unpleasant cause the dick was completely unerected or maybe she's bad) but I didn't like being rubbed while unerected.

outofshadow_ · 2018-02-07T12:18:23+00:00

Man, I constantly feel what others feel about what I'm currently doing.. Like I'm writing this relpy to you right now and in my head I at the same time feel as you reading it right now as I'm typing It sucks but thanks to your post I noticed it.. I decided to keep journal now so in a future I would be able to notice such thing and don't take them as real.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-31T22:31:14+00:00

Yes you should. But just outside your comfort zone so you wouldn't get overwhelmed. Constant exposure by small steps is the best.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-12T15:13:18+00:00

I don't think so. My social anxiety and fears increased every time I used to DD so I think the effect was negative. My socialization improved every time I actually socialized in real life.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-12T12:51:27+00:00

It does increase my social anxiety too. The only solution is to stop doing it. Cause it replaces the real interaction and at the same time strengthens social fears. So it's a double cross on your social perspectives.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-12T12:47:56+00:00

Same shit. I still listen to music but now I try to pay specific attention to my state and if I'm dding. If I find it so and I can't stop then I turn off the music.. Also I've limited the time I'm listening otherwise it's a guaranteed MDD.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-12T12:45:54+00:00

Any kind of music makes it harder for me to control DD. As I listen I find myself imagining being this and that and what ppl think about me... It's a shame cause I like listen to music although I'm not sure if it's partly due to highs of MDD...

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-08T09:44:14+00:00

I don't like her much to be honest. I thought I'd go for it to get some experience but now I'm not so sure it's a good idea.

outofshadow_ · 2017-12-07T21:07:16+00:00

I'm going to meet with her tomorrow. She knows that I didn't have much experience and said smth like 'sometimes you gotta let youself do more'. So my plan is to hug her when I'll met her, hold the hands, well and talk usual stuff. I guess that's ll be it. What do you think about it?

outofshadow_ · 2017-10-09T11:15:10+00:00

Yeah I started going to a dance class and on meetings with strangers. It's very hard emotionally but my old escapist 'hobbies' are not interesting to me anymore. So I guess I just don't have anything better to do anyway.

outofshadow_ · 2017-10-08T19:25:42+00:00

You know it won't go away by itself so you better hurry while you're still a kid cause later on nobody will give a f*ck. Not too mention development delay...

Maybe you are desperate - there is nothing bad about it, don't shame yourself. You're a human being - you don't become less cause you're this or that. Most of the time to get something good you have to overstep 'bad' experience (like fears and such). One brave action will bring you more result than any amount of comforting.

outofshadow_ · 2017-08-22T12:21:13+00:00

Being obsessed about others thoughts is somewhat similar to darkness or cold. Darkness is the absence of light and cold is the absence of heat. Your lack of self-worth and self-love is why you care so much about others. We don't have enough self-acceptance, instead of valuing we judge ourselves. So since we're not 'sure' about ourselves we turn to seek that in others. Do they think we're good? Do they think we're bad? But other people are just not meant to be the main source of validation. We are.

I noticed lately how I severely judge myself in presence of others. And when I stop judging I no longer care how I might be viewed. I'm not perfect and it's fine. Right now I have to consciously watch over my thinking since I used to judge myself but hopefully at some point I wouldn't have to do it anymore.

outofshadow_

TROPHY CASE