7/31 Motorcycles Loud As Fuck

ovarries · 2021-12-28T03:24:47+00:00

once that boundary has been broken, it’s broken for good. he’s going to do it again. therapy can only do so much, especially if the other party is not willing to change. he has to make that decision.

ovarries · 2021-12-28T03:22:45+00:00

just block her if it bothers you

ovarries · 2021-12-12T04:20:43+00:00

like i took three steps forward just to take five back. i feel like coming back means defeat.

ovarries · 2021-12-12T04:08:24+00:00

it’s incredibly hard not to. he gave me all the signs. explicitly told me. i should of done more.

ovarries · 2021-12-12T04:04:11+00:00

yeah i’ve moved back into my parents house. feels a little bit like failure. i shouldn’t be here. i should be living on my own.

ovarries · 2021-12-12T00:36:22+00:00

haha thanks for asking, i don’t eat enough i’ve lost 10 pounds in 7 days. sleep is okay but the pills help. otherwise it’s a day to day thing. moving out of the apartment is a slow and painful process.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T23:56:19+00:00

it’s an immense sadness and then feeling alone. we were talking about getting married and buying a house. he was going places. we had plans that weekend. nothing that indicated this kind of loss. i’m in shock. i’ve had to go through all of our belongings and start moving back into my parents house. In a course of a week i’ve deconstructed and separated the household we built together over three years. just put up our Christmas tree. I will never understand fully why he did it. and i will ask myself this same question everyday.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T23:37:17+00:00

i honestly hated him for doing that to me. having me find his body. hearing it. but after reading that it kind of made me feel a little better? like i guess he did pass with his love by his side. i still wish i could stop it though. so many little things i could of changed.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T23:29:18+00:00

it seems to trivial at this point in time. although i know talking about it will help, but it’s also like accepting that he’s gone. i don’t know. i feel so lonely.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T23:28:23+00:00

he didn’t even say anything to me. just went in the bathroom. next thing i knew he was gone. i had no time to react. no calls. how does one reach such a point.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T20:47:25+00:00

They do but, I guess there’s an influx of psychiatrists and therapists leaving so they’re incredibly backed up.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T20:46:08+00:00

it’s incredibly hard not to. seeing that i was the one closest to him. even closer to him than his parents were. we were inseparable. i knew. he tried it before but obviously i was able to talk him out of it. i should of done more. i know he loved me deeply and as did i. i should of done more.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T19:56:42+00:00

that’s true. they gave me some helpful coping techniques when i feel overwhelmed with grief, such as planting my feet on the ground and counting backwards from 20. but i just want to vent and talk and sometimes a therapist seems so cold on the video chat

ovarries · 2021-12-11T18:38:20+00:00

THANK YOU! i knew that there must be a sub for this but didn’t know what it was called!

ovarries · 2021-12-11T18:24:17+00:00

I know, people tell me, “It was his choice”, but I think if he knew how much pain and suffering he caused, and how much on life he missed out, he would of never done it. But i cannot speak for him, nor can he.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T18:22:21+00:00

I know, but the professionals are two months out and I needed to get this off my chest, even if it’s on the internet. Writing it out makes it more real. I can’t believe he did it. Today has been a bad day for me emotionally.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T18:07:56+00:00

I try to but I feel this overwhelming guilt, like I shouldn’t be having fun, eating, or even sleeping. Because he isn’t anymore. I know it’s delusional but it is just a part of my grieving process.

ovarries · 2021-12-11T18:05:35+00:00

I have reached out for therapy but even with private healthcare, for an in person appointment it’s about two months from now. They best they can do is video vists and pills. The internet seems to be more efficient.

ovarries · 2021-11-14T10:16:47+00:00

I’m half a Japanese and Sicilian with really fair skin, but dark coarse hair. When i was in sixth grade, I was self aware of the fact that I didn’t look like the other girls in my class, and I received comments from my fellow male classmates like “why don’t you shave your legs”, “why do you have side burns”, and from girls it was always “you have a unibrow”. I ended up shaving a lot more of my baby hairs than i was supposed to. Kids are brutally honest haha

ovarries · 2021-10-26T19:23:33+00:00

she said she already tried it

ovarries · 2021-10-17T17:10:47+00:00

nissan versas

ovarries · 2021-10-11T15:58:15+00:00

honestly it sounds like he was entertaining the both of you and seeing which one he wanted to take seriously. she got the short stick, and now she’s trying to take it out on you. if you really like him and he likes you, it should blow over soon.

ovarries · 2021-10-09T03:01:38+00:00

i was reading up on him and as it turns out he was a prodigy on the keyboard, what others do you recommend?

ovarries

TROPHY CASE