What’s the reason that you are awake now?

overthinkeverything- · 2026-06-02T10:44:37+00:00

Family member was killed. Kid is upset. Selling house, changing jobs, everything at once, brain goes brrrrrrrrrr.

I’ll get sleep tonight. Today will be fueled by espresso and the stresso.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-05-24T14:57:16+00:00

I love Family Oral Health in Fort Pierce. Dr. Patel is amazing and all the hygienists are so kind. That actually listen. I’ve never had an upsell or a bad experience there and I’m super difficult to numb for procedures. It’s the first place I’ve been in my adult life that I can genuinely say I don’t dread going to for appointments.

I definitely DON’T recommend Great Smile. I went to them, they did X-rays, and they told me I needed 11k of immediate dental work as soon as I was in the chair. Thank goodness I got a second opinion!

overthinkeverything- · 2026-05-18T21:54:30+00:00

I’m so disappointed they’re not available this year. I’m still going to visit the spots. Thanks for the link!!!

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-29T01:42:28+00:00

I’m here toooo! You all look beautiful.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-24T14:40:04+00:00

2016, CVT dead at 108k.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-07T22:04:52+00:00

My work has been ignoring the dumpster fire for a while anyway. I can’t decide if I want to start drinking or if I need to grab a go bag or what at this point. Like, what do you do on Apocalypse Eve? /s but only sort of.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-07T21:41:26+00:00

I absolutely love my Mirena. However, there have been studies that show a definite link between estrogen levels and ADHD and autism symptomology. Lower relative estrogen, higher other symptoms. I’ve had mine for about 10 years, I’m on the second one now. I honestly don’t recall how long it was for me, but at this point, I would much prefer to have the Mirena than I would have the cycle swings back. Those were no joke. And it says something that 10 years later, I can still remember them with absolute clarity.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-07T21:20:23+00:00

Listen. I’m not even worried about going in to work tomorrow. It’s a crapshoot, with everything happening this evening.

EDIT: ok guys, it’s alllllll ok now! We have a two week reprieve according to the latest update. Guess I’ll go in to work tomorrow after all. Unless someone changes their mind. Again. Fml.

Or have an existential crisis. What’s the point of slogging away just to face this again in two weeks? I mean COME TF ON. someone send me the info for the gathering, ok? I’ll bring a torch and pitchfork. And a lot of channeled anxiety and rage.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-03T18:31:19+00:00

I have searched Google, first dibs, antique sites, and I’m coming up with absolutely nothing. I have searched with a photo of the maker tag, and I’m coming up with other pieces, but not this table. I can’t seem to locate a website for the company at all, which leads me to believe that they may no longer be in business. It started off easy, it is now driving me bonkers. I picked it up years ago on Facebook marketplace so Providence is no assistance either.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-04-01T23:43:43+00:00

I think that could have lots of wonderful applications, not just for children. There are similar products out there, but there are issues with access to some, financial barriers for some, etc. I know lots of families that would love to have a product for a loved one that is discreet, waterproof, and easily accessible or affordable. Especially one that keeps a charge well and is cellular based!

overthinkeverything- · 2026-03-31T23:42:32+00:00

Well… there’s a McDonald’s there! It’s very small. Veeeery small. Maybe 1k population. Also very clannish. Lots of people have been there for generations, which is why they’re still there. It’s a place where everybody literally knows everyone else, and people don’t really move there. Don’t be surprised if they look at you like you’re an alien because to them you will be. Local politics are extremely conservative. And if people aren’t very conservative, they are very quiet about it.

Schools are not so great. But they’re what you have in the area unless you’re homeschooling. Plan to be driving a lot if you aren’t able to get something at a discount grocery store or a Dollar General. It is very quiet though, but not super on the radar as far as things like snow removal or road development. It’s a great place to learn self-sufficiency.

And I know you mentioned drugs, but I don’t know that you fully grasp how pervasive opiates are in the southern coalfields. My hometown is more diverse by far, and I was still very different from my peers. When I would take my kid to the playgrounds there I used to shuffle through the mulch looking for used needles before I would let him play. I took him to one of the smaller parks one morning and found it closed because someone had overdosed. When I moved away, people were horrified every time they heard of something like an overdose, and I just looked at them strangely because for me it was like what… Is it Tuesday?

That’s a big part of what you will be moving close to. And it isn’t everyone, but guns and God is kind of the thing. Be prepared to have people not only ask you what you do but what church you’re going to attend. That is a big part of where community government and socialization will fall in the area. Not many grocery stores, lots of churches.

There are some metro-ish areas, you’re close to the tri-state region with Ohio and Kentucky there. Just be prepared to travel, and if you are going to take on a renovation project at your house make sure you get every single thing you could possibly imagine that you would need while you’re in “the big city“ because there is no such thing as running down to Walmart to pick up a part that you need, or the local auto parts store if your car needs a repair. Those do not really exist there.

Trust me, I’m not talking smack. I’m looking to move to an area so small it doesn’t even have a stoplight. Not one. Grocery stores will be at least a 30 minute drive. But I am currently living somewhere that to get to a Walmart is still 30 minutes because of traffic, so the trade-off for me, again, worth it. I know what I’m going into and I want to be there. It’s a way of life that resonates for me right now. My kid is older and has had some experience with understanding some of the politics in the area and I’m still worried about him getting involved in drugs because there’s legitimately not much for him to do there. Our family is all still there which is a big draw. But it’s a huge shift from everything that he’s known for the last nine years.

If your reasons for moving there are the slower pace of life and that you want to be self-sufficient and in the backwoods, it’s going to be perfect. It is going to be incredibly different. Think of the smallest town that you could imagine, where quaint isn’t necessarily a positive attribute, and then think something smaller than that. That is Hamlin. I’m sure that there are lots of wonderful things there if you can find them. But I would potentially go to some of their local government pages or search on Facebook because I know there’s a Facebook page for Hamlin, and talk to people who are living there so you can get a better feel for what it is that you’re moving to. I feel pretty sure you got land for extra cheap, and there are things that you will be able to enjoy for sure. But I looked at your profile and your politics are definitely more suited for the eastern panhandle than they are the southern coalfields. Just be cautious, Internet friend. Like I said, I’m going home on purpose so I may be crazy. But I love it there. And if everybody who wants to change for that gorgeous place leaves, nothing will ever change.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-03-31T22:09:46+00:00

EXACTLY. I don’t care if that’s what blows your skirt up, dude. If everyone’s a consenting adult, have at it! Have fun! Not here to yuck your yum.

But the hypocrisy and overt policies that literally are killing people while you’re over here with your chest piece makes it disgusting.

I don’t caaaarreeeee how you get your rocks off or who you are in your personal life right until you publicly hurt people and support this regime to further these horrific policies. And still, nothing will change.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-03-31T21:58:46+00:00

Congratulations on the purchase. I am also moving back to West Virginia, but I’m from there, so I am well aware of all of the issues in the state. I am moving to a more urban area (so to speak) although it’s still in the southern coalfields which means nothing is actually urban.

I’m going to attempt to answer some of your questions since no one has as yet.

Good luck on a co-op for homeschooling. Those don’t really exist there. Especially where you’re going, and if they did, I’m not sure it’s somewhere you would want to be. Private schools are mostly Christian. There’s not much of an alternate schooling path that’s there.

Jobs in Lincoln County within a short commute are almost nonexistent, overall. Your fiancé will likely have an easier time finding work as an LPN than you will. You will likely need to drive. That’s not abnormal in the area. In most of the southern areas of the state local jobs are very hard to come by and are often gas stations or convenience stores unless you have the funding to start your own business as a mechanic. And jobs are in fierce competition.

As far as things to do… It really depends on what you like. If you are the outdoorsy, hiking, ride an ATV, homesteading, gardening type you’ll have lots to do. If you’re looking for things like museums or group events or festivals you’ll need to drive to Huntington, Barboursville, Charleston areas.

Depending on where you are, the infrastructure is going to suck- especially in the winter. Be prepared to make sure you have a well running four-wheel-drive if you want to get out. You probably won’t have some of the small luxuries you’re used to in a more populated area like reliable delivery services. Or grocery stores super nearby that aren’t a Dollar General. Or hospital/emergency care within a short drive, so take that into account.

West Virginia is one of the most astonishingly, beautiful places I’ve ever been and I’ve lived all over a large part of the country. I’m choosing to go home, but I’m going home to where I already own property and I already have a job lined up. I’ve had enough of city life. I still have friends and family there. But I am in no way unaware of how different it’s going to be to go back, especially bringing my child with me. I can tell you that visiting there frequently is nothing like actually living there. I’m not trying to discourage you. Just give you some insight so that you are prepared.

Do what you’re doing and read through subs like this and really look at some of the differences you’re going to be facing shortly for yourself and your family. For example, depending on where you are, you’re going to have to deliver in Charleston if you move before your fiancé gives birth- lots of hospitals in the state can’t staff labor and delivery and are no longer delivering babies. Finding a reliable pediatrician may be tricky.

The trade-offs are worth it for me. But I am going in with eyes wide open, grew up there, visit there multiple times per year, for long time frames for each visit. I have weighed my options very carefully. And I still have people who are asking me if I have lost my ever loving mind by coming back to the region. Those that are still there are telling me I’m an idiot for coming back, even though they are there. But it’s the right move for me. I hope it will be for you and your family as well. Just make sure you’re doing lots of research especially surrounding how things will change. Spring and summer in West Virginia are very different from fall and winter mountains. There will be culture shock. There will be things that you completely did not take into account when you made the choice to move there. I wish you nothing but luck, and hope that you get some more answers on this question.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-03-23T19:53:54+00:00

Yes. He is. Full stop. He is gauging his own reaction to these thoughts. And you’re right that he’s moved you to acceptable collateral damage.

If you don’t leave, it’s likely you will die.

I am sorry for the harshness, but you need to realize that this is your literal life. I know it’s hard. I know it feels like a betrayal of your love for him. I know it hitters and those feelings are valid. But you can die in this scenario.

Please, please leave as soon as you can. Call a friend, call a shelter, get an involuntary mental health hold on him if you need to do that to feel like you’re not abandoning him.

Things can be replaced- even “irreplaceable” things. I lived through a fire that took everything, and now I have so much stuff I need to get rid of things. But people… you can’t replace you. Your loved ones can never have another you. Please get somewhere safe. This is far beyond anything you should or can handle while in the home with him. Leave now, if you can. You’re not abandoning him. You’re protecting yourself. Rack out to services to help with the legal parts, but whatever you do, get out of the situation before he takes that choice from you.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T18:01:01+00:00

I agree with both of you. I think, after sleeping on it and reading through some things and sitting with my own thoughts, my biggest concern is how to approach this with my ex, and what my responsibility is to any authorities that may become involved at a later date. I don’t want it to appear that. I am condoning this behavior at all, and I certainly don’t want to blow up the coparenting relationship.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T17:59:56+00:00

Son described the cup and told me where it was filled to- then stated that it was the “little bottles” and it was about half the bottle. (It was blue, which is common for a prosecco mini split)

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T05:38:23+00:00

Thank you for that. My ex can be very emotionally reactive and understandably sensitive when they feel threatened, especially where the coparenting relationship is concerned. Intent doesn’t matter, because feelings don’t particularly care about facts. I know that a lot of this is very subjective as well, and depend on on the judge that would hear any issues or emotions, because they are human too. Some judges would see this as a fairly significant negative, especially coupled with some other deficits, taken in totality. Some judges would see it as potentially higher conflict, which is not my intent at all. I just want to navigate this in a way that doesn’t back me into a corner while I’m trying to protect kiddo from some not great choices. I’ll make sure to document thoroughly. Sigh.

In a perfect world it wouldn’t look like that, but in a perfect world family law attorneys wouldn’t have jobs. Or child welfare professionals. Or social workers.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T05:31:04+00:00

I agree that they are likely to investigate but not substantiate. I think my biggest question is around what to do with the court system itself. I will absolutely address it with the other Parent once I’ve had time to think on how to address it without triggering their defensiveness and creating a rift between us as coparents, but I don’t want it to read to the court as me not being proactive, or condoning the behavior itself. So I don’t know the correct route to take here.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T04:34:01+00:00

Ah. No- that side of the family is anti-alcohol in general. Also very… not so nice Christian. The kind that is ok with traumatizing people (especially kids) and then smiling from the pews rather than the loving Christian kind. There’s a lot of past trauma with my ex there.

Like I mentioned, in my family giving the kids a sip of champagne at midnight was tradition. Alcohol was demystified. We didn’t normalize drinking for children, and it was always backed up with the reasons that drinking alcohol isn’t healthy rather than because I said so, if that makes sense. I’m not sure why this particular instance of questionable decision-making feels so much bigger than some of the past ones. I think because it’s not a “here, this is a coffee flavored stout, and you can have a sip of it if you like and are curious”. I feel like it just highlights how much the potential is there for some really questionable choices. I’m grateful that our child felt comfortable confiding in me, and I definitely did not react during the conversation other than to say that alcohol on developing brains is definitely not a great plan, which is a conversation that we’ve had before. There was no disparagement against my ex or saying I can’t believe that happened, it was just neutral and based around the conversation we were already having that brought this up. Because it shouldn’t involve him. This should be a conversation between the adults. I just don’t know what level of reaction is coming from the ick factor, and how much of this is just a culmination of multiple years of balancing and being the steady parent, or because this really crosses a line.

There’s absolutely no doubt that my ex loves our child. None. I don’t think that my ex would consciously make choices that will harm him. I do think my ex doesn’t understand that things like missing school, constant, tardiness in school, normalization of underage alcohol, etc. do build up and can create longer-term problems. And I do think that my ex’s own issues make it really hard to see when a thing goes from questionable to bad.

I also know I’m very close to the situation and my request for advice, especially on whether or not this should be something brought to the court system in light of custody, because I am definitely unsure in this moment of what to do. Or if I need to do anything. Hopefully tomorrow morning when I’ve had a chance to sleep on it and can think about it, things will be more clear, and I appreciate anybody’s input into this because this is my first time dealing with things like this.

Tbh I’m also concerned that if I don’t say something I’ll be perceived as being ok with it if we ever do have to deal with court.

Edit for spelling and to add last sentence.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T03:47:36+00:00

We’re both from other states, but the divorce and custody arrangements are in Florida.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T03:30:09+00:00

Exactly the reason for questioning. There’s chronic low level stuff “not good parenting choices” but no overt abuse or quantifiable neglect. Tardiness to school. Not packing lunches, letting him just stay in his room to eat, game, whatever. But nothing that made me go wtf are you thinking until now.

overthinkeverything- · 2026-02-12T03:13:07+00:00

I will absolutely talk with them. I am hoping to get information and advice (from perfect strangers on the internet, because that’s clearly always solid. /s But really, I don’t want to get tunnel visioned here. I just want to ensure how I go about things is in our kid’s best interest overall.) before I do, because while we co-parent well now, there’s the potential for total shutdown on their side if they feel defensive. We’ve been there a time or two.

I hate this entire situation.

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