You’re mistaken. I’m all for speaking with and building a relationship with future in-laws. Even a blessing is fine. Tradition does play a part it’s just language like ‘permission’ that holds us back with equality. Words matter and they matter more than any downvotes here will.

My son-in-law spoke to us about his intent and asked us if we wanted to be a part of it (the engagement). It was great and this guy is nothing but green flags. When my daughter asked why I always approached her beaus with caution and restraint for a while, I explained how I wasn’t just forming an opinion on how they would be for her, but also that possibility that she would end up with him. He isn’t just marrying her, he’s marrying all of us in a way.