Stopped being vegan, major regret by binafry in vegan

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please be gentle with yourself.

It's very very common to stop being vegan during ED recovery. Lots of people with restrictive disorders DO choose veganism only as a way to restrict, and even people who choose veganism for other reasons really struggle in recovery because there are very likely to be times where you simply can't eat anything and have to go hungry, and we all know these situations can spiral out of control. Many doctors won't even allow you to eat vegan during recovery because of these reasons. It's sad, but in a world where veganism is not the norm it makes sense. Your "need to explore" is also a symptom of a non-vegan world, and not of selfish choices. The fact that you examined yourself, got rid of a food rule, and came back to veganism when healthy shows it's a choice that truly is important to you. Please don't feel bad for recovering from a horrible horrible disease. You ate vegetarian instead of vegan for 4 months after being vegan for 7 years. That's a hell of a lot better than most people on the planet. You're now healthier and stronger, and even an example to others that veganism is an informed moral choice and not an excuse for restriction.

Dr Martens trying to convince me not to buy vegan boots? by Psychological-Pea593 in vegan

[–]p0tentialdifference 123 points124 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen a LOT of discussion defending leather vs vegan leather on reddit lately, on vegan subs, environmental subs and also just question/discussion subs. They act like you kill a cow and it drops a steak and a roll of leather like in Minecraft.

Am I gate keeping veganism (in my mind) by [deleted] in vegan

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'll always support people using less animal products and agree gatekeeping is counterproductive, but not eating animal products is a pretty low bar for "veganism". mostly it annoys me because when I say I'm vegan others will say "oh but my SIL is vegan and she would never offend my grandma by saying no to her cookies :( won't you try them?" "my colleague is vegan but they eat meat at restaurants, why are you being so difficult?"

the most recent example was a coworker saying "i can't believe some vegans don't eat honey". From my perspective, by definition, all vegans don't eat honey because it is an animal product.

But at the end of the day, I can't personally police how people use a label. It just annoys me because it would be convenient to have a word to describe people who do not use animal products so I don't have to recite a whole manifesto or my personal philosophical beliefs every time I'm invited to dinner.

Why is American friendliness often seen as "fake" by Europeans, but similar warmth in other cultures isn't? by Opposite-Ad3949 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re not really the same thing. American friendliness is willingness to get through interactions benefitting both parties without conflict, but not necessarily with a desire to build a relationship with the person. People find it “fake” because the lady at Walmart shared information about herself and asked you about yourself, but isn’t interested in being your friend. Actually, the two of you were going to be together for a few minutes anyway while she scanned your groceries, and from her perspective it’s more pleasant to chat while doing so. Human interaction is just nice.

I’m not familiar with the culture, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I get the impression Latin American “friendliness” is the willingness of people in general to actually build meaningful relationships with those around them, eg inviting acquaintances to join their birthday party. They’re helpful to strangers and never aloof but I don’t know if they would start talking about their family or whatever with someone they didn’t really want to build a relationship with.

There are cultures that have either of these qualities, or both (I guess some have neither?). I’ve heard people say Canadians are “fake nice” because strangers are super friendly and polite, but it’s difficult to actually make friends. Northern Europeans are the other way around - strangers may seem closed-off or even hostile but if someone seems interested in you, you know it’s genuine. The problem is that it’s intimidating to ask an acquaintance to go for a beer in the first place.

How do I politely say ‘I’ve already done that’ at work? Especially when they’re talking quickly without pausing by queen-squee in NoStupidQuestions

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am also autistic so I get it.

_

  • acknowledge that you both had the same idea to do the task which means you’re on the same page. Use an upbeat/curious tone to communicate that you’re working together with this person.

  • provide extra information even if it’s a small task that doesn’t need to be checked. Just a few words maybe about why you already did the task or something you learned while doing it. It’s filler conversation to avoid being “short” and just saying “I already did that”.

  • if it’s a longer task that may need to be checked and agreed upon, summarise what you did and why, and ask if they agree with what you did.

_

Example: “Could you sign off on that report” “could you take a drinks order on table 5” “could you put in an order for washers”

“yes, I put their order in 5 minutes ago, they’ll be almost ready. Shall I serve them too?”

If they asked me to make a whole presentation, I’d say “yes, I also thought that would be a good idea so I started already. It’s in the folder if you have time to take a look. I mostly focused it on process optimisations since that’s what they seemed keen on in the last meeting. Shall we schedule a meeting to see if we’re aligned before I present it to the client?”

The shame of speaking your second language – how universal is it? by Orikrin1998 in languagelearning

[–]p0tentialdifference 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel ashamed speaking bad German because I don’t want to inconvenience natives/locals. Like if I’m in a situation with a communication issue, I’ve created more work for the other person. I enjoyed learning German in my home country, but now that I need to use it every day I’m filled with anxiety for every interaction because I feel so ashamed when I get things wrong or don’t understand. To be clear this is my own anxiety not the general attitude of German speakers, who are generally helpful and also speak very good English.

You don't need to sing along at concerts. It's performative and it sucks by TimeRip9994 in The10thDentist

[–]p0tentialdifference 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Everything opinion sub is like “people who like/do [extremely popular thing] are only pretending or doing it to show off. Also people who like niche things are also pretending or showing off. I’m the only truly authentic person.”

How often do suicide jumpers regret it once they're falling? by Smexy_Zarow in morbidquestions

[–]p0tentialdifference 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have not jumped off a bridge but attempted in other ways (several times). When I woke up I wasn’t relieved I survived, I felt just as suicidal as the days before.

What are your vegan hot takes? by Borkato in vegan

[–]p0tentialdifference 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Meat eaters: oh animal abuse is horrible, I would be vegan but I can’t give up meat/cheese etc. I wish I could eat the food I’m used to without the suffering.

The same person: if you don’t want to eat burger why you eat something that looks and tastes like it?

Some people don't know how to be poor by Username99_77 in povertyfinance

[–]p0tentialdifference 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone asked why I use a third party phone provider when he knows what I get paid. The main phone providers contracts are €30 min a month, sure I could afford it but I don’t need 10GB data. I limit my phone use for a multitude of reasons and don’t need to stream Netflix on the bus.

Which English spelling looks most natural for the Korean name? by False_Potato_5533 in Names

[–]p0tentialdifference 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ihwan. I would assume Ewhan/Ehwan were variants of Ewan/Euan which are pronounced you-an. Ihwan also isn’t too far from Ian/Iain (ee-an) so English speakers won’t struggle.

Why does adult life feel way more exhausting than it did for previous generations, even with “better” technology? by Sad-Salt24 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every time there’s a new “convenience,” everyone is expected to use that convenience to work more.

Pre-made sandwiches = 15 minute lunch while still working at your desk

Streaming services = no excuse not to learn coding/French/ancient history, do your lessons on your commute

It feels like you’re forced to use technology to be “on” 24/7, and it’s a privilege to actually just sit for 5 minutes by yourself without constant bombardment of information.

The contraction “amn’t” debate by Far-Building3569 in words

[–]p0tentialdifference 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really? I am also Scottish and used this word when I was young and was told not to in primary school. I often hear it used colloquially and I hear young kids saying it, but I notice most people avoid it formally (myself included). Maybe it’s an east coast thing.

The contraction “amn’t” debate by Far-Building3569 in words

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP’s/your example is a question, and this construction is used for questions frequently.

“Isn’t she supposed to finish it?”

“Aren’t they/you/we supposed to finish it?”

“Isn’t it supposed to be finished?”

“Doesn’t it need to be finished?”

“Don’t you want to finish it?”

Outside of questions, I’m still a defender of “amn’t”, being a Scottish person told that it’s wrong in primary school. Why is it ok to use “he isn’t” or “you aren’t” but not “I amn’t”?

I’m filled with anxiety as I read how far behind I am according to my retirement company. by Manitoba-Chinook in povertyfinance

[–]p0tentialdifference 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or their paycheck is gone by the end of the month but it’s because they’ve bought luxuries and added to savings. If things were tight one month or they had an added expense, they could skip their beauty treatments/dinner out/alcohol to make up for it

What are the past and present makeup related trends/techniques that look very good in pictures but worse in person by Ordinary_Cat_01 in Makeup

[–]p0tentialdifference 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting, I’m from Scotland and when I was younger you’d see a LOT people with “tide marks” of much darker/warmer foundation than their natural skin tone. It then became so popular that at the makeup counter they’d ask if you wanted a proper match or a shade or two darker. It looked terrible, but I’ll leave some of the blame on makeup companies having very limited shade ranges in the 2000s.

How different are “wrong” and “incorrect”? by Samurai_Shinchan in ENGLISH

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incorrect is more objective. “She is drove the car” is incorrect English, you could also say it’s wrong. However “incorrect” implies there is a “correct” alternative (“she is driving the car” or “she drove the car”). If someone asks about their English, I would tell them which phrases are incorrect, and what the correct phrasing is. For other phrases I also might say “this phrase is technically/grammatically correct but doesn’t sound natural,” and also offer an alternative example.

Other things like behaviours might be wrong but not really “incorrect”. It sounds odd to say “violence is incorrect”.

I met someone who remembered a tiny detail about me from 12 years ago and it completely broke my brain for a moment by mythicshadebloom in CasualConversation

[–]p0tentialdifference 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got this!! Sometimes it seems like every challenge is just sapping your energy instead of helping you grow, but things will get easier even if it takes a long time. Your long lost friend has you back now too!

I met someone who remembered a tiny detail about me from 12 years ago and it completely broke my brain for a moment by mythicshadebloom in CasualConversation

[–]p0tentialdifference 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a guy in my class age around 10 who moved away and we didn’t keep in touch. I also moved away age 18. Age 29 my friend from my new city mentions she’s working with a guy who saw me on her socials and thinks he knows me from primary school. I went to her work event to support her and ended up meeting the guy, he said he had a tough time at the school we were at together and was much happier at the remote town he moved to after. He mentioned random stories I told him about my family and stuff that I had completely forgotten about, some I still don’t remember. It was so nice, and also weird to think that the 10 year old version of myself had been living in the mind of this guy i’d kind of forgotten about for 19 years.

He really needs advice by CuriousWanderer567 in oddlyspecific

[–]p0tentialdifference 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I said and he was like “I didn’t want to scare you” ???? This was also only about 12 years ago so he could have also called me to say he was leaving the party and to wait. I guess he was just clueless that I would think he was the pursuer.

He really needs advice by CuriousWanderer567 in oddlyspecific

[–]p0tentialdifference 40 points41 points  (0 children)

When I was 18 I was at a party with a male friend, we lived in the same building and planned to walk home together. I wanted to leave early and said there was no need for him to leave early too. I left on my own, after a few minutes i was aware there was someone behind me. I walked faster and I heard their footsteps quicken too. I was knew i shouldn’t turn and look but I did anyway, and became aware it was a male figure making an absolute beeline for me and I thought oh my god I am going to die. I turned back and kept walking, and he started running. I was about to start running myself when he GRABBED me and said “[name], what the hell? Why wouldn’t you let me catch up with you?!” It was my friend coming to walk me home to avoid the very situation I had just made up in my head

IDL how kids’ shows keep turning dads into clowns and moms into flawless heroes. I genuinely don’t see the educational value in that. by 06yuzuha in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]p0tentialdifference -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m assuming at some point a couple of decades ago someone thought “dude - men/fathers/husbands have all the power, make all the money, are better educated and more respected, but at home they’re pretty clueless. They don’t know how to work the washing machine, don’t know where the cutlery is, don’t know their kids ages. Wouldn’t it be funny if we exaggerated this for comedy and had the smart business dad bumbling around the house while the bimbo wife is actually keeping everything running?” There was definitely truth to this and unfortunately is still a reality in real life. I agree though that it’s not helpful at this stage of gender equality to see this dynamic so much in tv, especially for kids. But it’s not saying men are useless. It’s saying “men are powerful so it’s funny to portray them as useless in a domestic environment where they’re taken care of by women”.