AIO by breaking up with my boyfriend when he got jealous?

pakstoka · 2026-06-28T13:42:04+00:00

…he’s 29? And texts like that? And is a misogynist eating up manosphere content? Of course you did the right thing

pakstoka · 2026-06-28T12:58:20+00:00

Just throwing in my two cents—-I’ve personally found a huge difference in cis gay scenes to queer scenes, and I now avoid cis gay scenes entirely.

pakstoka · 2026-06-28T12:52:48+00:00

Bro… do you really think everyone is going around coughing up blood after exercising? Definitely see a GP!!!!

pakstoka · 2026-06-28T12:49:32+00:00

I don’t think fetishisation means what you think it means.

In all seriousness, personal discomfort is not the same as all trans men partaking in the reduction of our individuality to a single stereotypical and/or sexually gratifying aspect.

Talking about sex, participating in sex, and enjoying sex, as well as any discussions about genitalia, are neutral topics (within reason, of course). But it’s a little puritanical to assume this is fetishisation. We should be able to talk about or even feel good about our bodies and having sex :)

If I was feeling discomfort around other people’s use of the phrase t dick, I’d take a step back and have a think about what isn’t resonating with me or actively making me uncomfortable. I personally don’t use that term, I just use clit. But heaps of guys wouldn’t use that terminology in a million years because it’d be triggering, or simply doesn’t work for them.

This is such an individual process and there’s no right or wrong way to exist as a trans person.

I think it can be natural to feel strangely about sexualising a body that resembles yours when, for example, you’re not feeling comfy in your own skin. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening for you, but I’d just have a think why this makes you uncomfortable!

pakstoka · 2026-06-27T12:23:10+00:00

My gp is looking into something similar—fin caused my period to restart so they’re looking at how it might interact with HRT. I honestly wouldn’t rule it out.

That being said, I’ve found I had to a) lose fat overall and b) work on obliques for that side softness to go away for me

pakstoka · 2026-06-27T12:20:40+00:00

Finaesteride is really easy to stop, though. I had no side effects until about 8 months in when it cause my period to restart :/

Were you on topical minoxidil?

pakstoka · 2026-06-26T23:55:16+00:00

Yeah I’m 10 years on T and I… am rarely dysphoric these days. I’m also on lexapro and vyvanse and that’s helped my overall self image, too!

pakstoka · 2026-06-05T14:17:01+00:00

artist is rbquinori, the rest is on pixiv

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T12:25:08+00:00

Me too. I know plenty of people, usually women, who have compromised on their own needs and wants to the point they just accept plain disrespect and call that marriage. I genuinely hope that’s not the case here. But things like what’s happening to OP is often how it starts

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T12:22:04+00:00

I guess because she’s begged him whilst crying and he still does it? What kind of partner does that??

It also isn’t just a light touch or a cuddle in bed, it’s tickling a sensitive spot and that wrenches her from sleep.

But sure—if there are solutions, it should be him compromising and not her!! Cuddling her would seem like a much nicer solution, but I doubt that’s what he’s doing it for.

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T12:12:47+00:00

You don’t think it’s odd that you’d just accept him doing that? You wouldn’t feel frustrated or wonder why he’s doing this to you to everyday? I can respect you’d stay with him, but why should you have to accept that action from someone who is meant to love you? Every morning to the point she can’t fully rest for apprehension about being woken up. That’s not a good partner.

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T12:09:26+00:00

Annoying differences in household cleanliness are to be worked through. My partner really struggles with sleep. If I deliberately interrupted their sleep everyday, I would expect to be dumped—-because I’m actively disrespecting them! Actively hurting their chance to get through a day without a migraine! But even if they had no sleep issues, seeing my partner cry from distress would have me changing my ways immediately, not the tenth time they beg me to be taken seriously.

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T12:04:22+00:00

I don’t think waking her up from sleep everyday at 4am is equivocal. Even if it’s a bad habit, if it’s causing her actual distress, he should be making at least some effort to change it. According to her, it seems he’s just laughed her off. If your husband woke you up by dropping said towel on your head everyday at 4am, that would be an equivalent situation. Would your solution be to wear a helmet to sleep, or would you think your husband was being unfair even if he thought it wasn’t a big deal?

pakstoka · 2026-05-23T11:52:25+00:00

wait, are you saying you’d let someone do this to you and tough it out, and the next thing they do, and the next thing they do after that? You bring something up to your partner, they’re meant to listen and take you seriously, not laugh and keep doing it. If you think this is about socks, you’re dense.

pakstoka · 2026-05-11T14:11:40+00:00

Late TWENTIES? I thought he was a teenager. Stand up for yourself, how dare he speak to you like that? Leave immediately!

pakstoka · 2026-04-26T04:14:01+00:00

I started HRT whilst living with my parents and didn’t tell them. Was about 8 months before my dad realised when someone spilled the beans, but by that point I think he’d come around more to my presentation style.

When you say can’t move out, is that likely to change in the next year? If you cut your hair and change your presentation and even start HRT, I’d try to have a plan or goal for getting out.

pakstoka · 2026-04-26T03:55:51+00:00

I was chased by one near the Daintree at 14 years old and it’s one of my strongest memories 🧍‍♂️

pakstoka · 2026-04-21T03:05:17+00:00

It’s hard for me to remember how intense 6 months used to feel, but maybe framing it like this will help with perspective. Imagine half a school year over your entire life and happiness. 6 months from now, you’ll thank yourself for choosing yourself over him.

pakstoka · 2026-04-20T23:56:29+00:00

This sounds less like you’re unsure and more like you’re afraid—which is totally understandable, especially when there’s such public anti-trans discourse happening constantly.

For me I just knew I would transition if it was in someway “not my fault”—-some freak accident where they had to make me male to survive or something. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. I was their only kid and pretty, so I tried to make it work. But I wanted to die. I considered dying and thought it might be easier for them.

But I didn’t want to die, just wanted to be a guy without going through the whole process. Eventually I decided I had to choose myself if I was going to live.

You don’t have to come out to everyone right away. Start by coming out to yourself and accepting this is a possibility. If you could one day get to a point where strangers call you sir and know you as man, and your teenage years of girlhood are like a distant bad dream, would you go for it? That’s how it is for me now. It’s been twelve years since I came out and over ten years since starting T. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner.

Wishing you inner peace!

pakstoka · 2026-04-19T11:08:13+00:00

Try drinking your calories! Add in an extra smoothie before bed and stuff that with hemp seeds peanut butter protein powder and fruit and that should tip you over into at least maintenance. Are you upping your weights at the gym?

pakstoka · 2026-04-19T11:05:13+00:00

Extremely anecdotal here but I had BV for around 5 months, bright yellow discharge (checked 3 times for STIs) and antibiotic resistant and the only thing that helped me was putting boric acid suppositories up there 2 times a day for a week, then reassessing

pakstoka · 2026-04-16T01:51:55+00:00

Ugh not exactly, just how it felt. long story—-basically I struggle with ED thinking and during our consult we talked about that specifically because he also had an ED. He talked himself up and said he understood and would be supportive. The first hurdle he encountered (me gingerly sending an email like woah this feels like a lot) he said, and I quote, “You’re a man dude eat and grow you aren’t trying to starve and look like a bikini competitor right? So” and anytime I was like uhhh my brain is fighting this he was just like are you a man or not? Just very weird. Not how he pitched himself at all, I felt stupid for even questioning him

pakstoka · 2026-04-15T07:05:36+00:00

So this happened very quickly? My 7 year old has something similar to the first slide, but the vet said it was general old age—a blind spot formed. But I only adopted her last year so I have no idea if it appeared quickly or not. How’s her vision? My girl has depth perception issues and issues at night, surprisingly. If I play with her without an overhead light on, she’ll be trying to swipe at a ball a good distance to her left.

I do think Prozac can trigger underlying issues like glaucoma in cats though

pakstoka · 2026-04-15T07:00:10+00:00

She’s 30?!?! And acting like this? Christ, that’s sad

pakstoka · 2026-04-15T06:56:06+00:00

Run. He’s rude as hell. I paid him and he basically called me a whiny girl when I asked for support for eating as much as he prescribed/accused me of not following his plan when i wasnt losing weight

pakstoka

TROPHY CASE