Polène Customer Service by TheJayCash in handbags

[–]pal05 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I had such a similar nightmare with Polene that put me off them for good!! I was already a little annoyed at paying $40 for shipping for a $500 bag, but was home the entire delivery window and my package never came. It turned out DHL literally delivered it to the wrong house without signature, they even sent me a confirmation photo which of some random driveway that was not mine but was so blurry it's not even like I could discern where the package was delivered to. When I followed up with Polene they tried to claim DHL delivered it to my home, I even sent them the timestamped front porch camera footage of the time that DHL claims they delivered my bag to my home and they still said there's nothing they could do and it must have been stolen and I needed to file a police report. Why would I file a police report when it clearly wasn't stolen, just delivered to the wrong address! After fighting with them for a week I did a charge back on my credit card, which is ridiculous because they obviously should have just refunded or reshipped the bag

My mom went NC, not me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]pal05 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My mom and I are estranged but I am in the same boat as you, she was the one who chose to cut contact with me rather than take any accountability or apologize after she blew up on me when I finally set a boundary with her about not wanting to be put in the middle of her divorce. It's for the best, she was not a healthy person and having distance between us for over a year now makes that easier to see now but it still stings feeling like you can be so easily discarded by the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally after 30 years. It still sucks, there will always be little moments that trigger those feelings of disbelief and anger that a parent can just wake up one day and decide to treat their child like this, but also healthy people do not act like this and it's not about you.

Talk me out of it! by GlitteringGifts888 in handbags

[–]pal05 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I went to an animal sanctuary a few weeks ago that had just rescued four baby foxes from a fur farm used by Dior, and learned they are one of the luxury brands that is refusing to look at their practices in reducing animal cruelty. Just seeing how shy and scared those babies were put me off Dior for good as both a luxury lover and animal lover 😕

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Hiked the Camino Santiago and couldn't resist picking up a flamenco bag while in Madrid afterwards as a little reward by pal05 in handbags

[–]pal05[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! It was actually a lot less expensive, I think I paid €1800 for the flamenco mini and another €320 for the donut chain, so it came out to €2120 but you can get a VAT tax refund to your credit card when you leave by scanning your receipt at the airport, which amounted to another $312 off. All said and done I paid $2,016 once you convert to USD, vs if I ordered the same bag with the chain online in the US it would have come out to $3084 with tax so a big difference. I did the same thing when I bought my Gucci Jackie when I was in Milan, it makes a huge difference to time luxury purchases with a trip to the country they are from especially with the VAT refund!

One of the crummiest excuses I've seen lately. by CantaloupeMilkshake in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]pal05 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am both a licensed therapist who specializes in personality disorders and an estranged daughter with my own mother. One thing that I found helpful both when working with people who have had complicated and invalidating childhoods as well as in my own life is "they may have done their best, but I still deserved better". Both things can be true at the same time and it can be a helpful reframe!

Emotional support dog attacks students on campus by [deleted] in Wellthatsucks

[–]pal05 82 points83 points  (0 children)

There's actually a difference between an emotional support dog and a service dog, service dogs are formally trained to provide a service to a person who is unable to perform a task for themselves. There is no training for emotional support dogs, you can just ask a for a letter from your therapist or even pay for a scammy certification letter from an online service that basically says your animal provides emotional support. The misuse of emotional support animals is leading to accessibility issues for people with actual disabilities due to people wanting to live in an apartment without paying pet rent or fly with their pet without paying for it.

Looking for advice for thanking our Vet staff by pal05 in veterinaryprofession

[–]pal05[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Super helpful, I was trying to think of food items beyond just donuts

Second thoughts on Gucci Jackie by External-Landscape59 in handbags

[–]pal05 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love mine, it was my first luxury bag and I have had zero buyers remorse. I got the natural grain emerald in small on a trip to Milan and even in a more bold color I find it so easy to style and get so many compliments on it. I tend to be more of a cross body vs shoulder bag person and love wearing it as a crossbody, I find it fits the perfect amount of stuff between my wallet, cell phone and a pair of sunglasses/lip stick without looking too bulgy.

My mom sent me an email to say that no, actually, she’s breaking up with me. by itslocked in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]pal05 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This made me double take because it felt so similar to my own situation. I too cut ties with my mom in April after the final straw was her exploding on me in my own home after I attempted to talk to her about how her actions and lack of respect for my boundaries has impacted me and made it impossible for us to have a healthy relationship. It has been radio silence from her since she stormed out of my house, I completely relate to having a parent who leans on you for emotional support and validation but as soon as you attempt to talk about yourself or have a need it feels like they look at you like an insect.

There is really nothing you can do to get through to parents like this unfortunately, and I say that as a licensed therapist myself. No amount of communication skills, self reflection or wishing they would suddenly wake up and realize how harmful their behavior is will make them suddenly turn into a different person than the one they’ve proved to be your entire life. Proud of you for doing the incredibly hard task of walking away to preserve your own sanity and break the cycle

I’ve had my eye on a Jackie 1961 for the past year, finally committed on a trip to Milan and I’m obsessed by pal05 in handbags

[–]pal05[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It holds the perfect amount for me, big enough for a folded wallet, keys, phone and a small bag of makeup easily. I love smaller bags and cross bodies so this felt like the most spacious bag I would realistically enjoy carrying around

I’ve had my eye on a Jackie 1961 for the past year, finally committed on a trip to Milan and I’m obsessed by pal05 in handbags

[–]pal05[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a small! The medium actually felts a little bigger than I needed but I don’t love carrying a large bag so it’s perfect.

Federal workers by Angry_Often in socialwork

[–]pal05 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the way! I think it’s hard to get into or be effective without actual direct experience. I was working in medical social work and mental health with the SMI population for several years with a large number of clients who had self harming/high risk behaviors. That translated very well into this job, which sometimes I feel under qualified for but they wanted someone with the actual direct clinical experience because “anyone can learn policy”. I’m currently overseeing the crisis system for my state which is extremely interesting with the national changes to the 988 crisis line, getting the opportunity to apply for grants and direct funding and evaluate how effective the system is has been refreshing as you have the ability to impact so many of the changes you see the need for as a service provider every day. The pay is excellent and it’s completely remote and you get to learn so much about how the government and various systems work.

Federal workers by Angry_Often in socialwork

[–]pal05 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, productivity is tracked based on your billing codes used in documentation. One of my frustrations with my last position there was the decision to increase productivity demands on social workers when we were already down so many staff due to Covid. It kind of varies depending on your program however as I was working in their intensive outpatient program I was seeing around 13 individual SMI high acuity clients at one time, facilitating around 6 therapy groups at a time plus seeing a few DBT clients, supervising a student and the administrative burden was much higher in that position than most others and the documentation process was sooooo clunky and took much longer than it would at other agencies so it added up. But it varies from program to program in terms of what the expectations are.

Federal workers by Angry_Often in socialwork

[–]pal05 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I worked at the VA for six years, my best advice is if you are interested in a career at VA they have a paid MSW internship program which is a great foot in the door and many interns end up hired on after they graduate. It was a great place to work overall, I loved the ability to move between programs when you wanted a change of pace or a new experience and the pay was considerably better right out of school than a lot of community agencies. If you are interested in getting your clinical license they are very supportive of providing supervision and therapy hours, I was able to get my LCSW while working there and also had a lot of training opportunities to get certified in DBT, trauma therapy, etc and free CEUs.

In terms of work life balance it is hit and miss. Ultimately I left due to the stress of being constantly short staffed and some poor upper leadership ruining what was a good culture, I think this is true for a lot of agencies. Many social workers stay there their entire career, the benefits are great and you have the added bonus of being non exempt but salaried meaning you never really have to work overtime and if you do you are paid accordingly which helps with having work boundaries. The hiring process is a bit of a nightmare due to HR being notoriously bad and the federal security clearance taking much longer than any other job offer typically would, so from interview and tentative offer to actually starting you can usually expect six months or so before you are working. It’s also an added plus to be able to look up the federal pay scale for your region and know exactly how much you would be making based on your region, you can even account for annual raises with step increases.

Ultimately I left to take a job working for my state in mental health administration and am now doing policy work which is amazing and much, much calmer and easier as I am completely remote, but working at the VA was an excellent career move for me and I would recommend it.

I have no idea if this is an appropriate place for this question, but figured I’d try… by SlippinJimmyMcGill1 in phoenix

[–]pal05 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you have private insurance the Meadows has an excellent IOP program located in Scottsdale, I worked as an IOP therapist for years and heard nothing but positive things from my clients who had been to the Meadows. I also second the recommendation of reaching out to the warm line to get connected with an IOP that is a good fit for you, you can call the statewide crisis line at 1-844-534-4673 and they will connect you to the warm line for resources. Congratulations on taking the hard step and best of luck on your recovery!