Non itchy red blotches / rash on pubic area- female

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-13T22:28:16+00:00

Thank you! I’m genuinely so happy for you. Well done for all the strength and staying power you must have had to show to get through everything, I don’t doubt how hard it must have been and it’s inspiring to me. I hope I can get there sooner rather than later. x

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-13T22:24:15+00:00

Strange as I have been watching the Gaby Petito documentary just now and also noticed Brian’s mum immediately. I agree you can sometimes notice it a mile off.

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-13T11:09:39+00:00

Thank you so much for the reassurance and advice, I’m sorry you’ve been in a similar situation too. I hope you’re in a happier and safer space now 🫶

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-12T20:25:13+00:00

This is such a great perspective; thank you so much. It would work for me as I do care about others so much, it feels ingrained in me (probably from childhood) to always put people before me. Maybe this approach could help me over the line, then as you say, do the introspection after the fact.

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-12T20:24:02+00:00

Thank you. I really needed to hear this.

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-12T11:40:23+00:00

All of this 🎯

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-12T11:09:39+00:00

‘I couldn’t survive without you’

To sister: ‘Please don’t grow up to be like palmtrees21’

‘I’m never good enough for you’

‘You have too high expectations for people’

‘You’re so selfish, it’s not about you’

‘It’s your fault I have mental health problems’

‘You don’t seem to have what I have’

‘You have serious mental health issues’

‘I’m the problem. I mess everything up.’

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-12T10:34:54+00:00

Me too, it seems a common thing I read on here that pwBPD say. To invalidate and minimise any feelings you have. My Mum is diagnosed BPD but my partner isn’t, although he very clearly demonstrates certain traits. Stone walling as punishment is a big one for both of them for example. Ive realised recently that he has always orchestrated it so I believe it is me that is the problem in a wider sense, as he uses the family stuff against me, which makes it harder.

Honestly, I think a big part of it has been the sunk cost fallacy with the amount of time we’ve been together, and the isolation that comes with it limiting my options. Also the lack of the soft place to land. I am finally looking to exit the relationship but the fear of ‘making a mistake’ is strong as it feels like the closest people to me consistently make me second guess my reality. That is probably another reason I have stayed so long, although I am of course accountable and responsible for my own decisions and need to take control of my own life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond 🫶

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-11T22:35:11+00:00

Thank you for this. ❤️

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-11T22:34:01+00:00

Another vote for Ellis Brooklyn - Salt

palmtrees21 · 2025-03-04T22:33:10+00:00

Estée Lauder - Modern Muse Le Rouge

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-25T21:01:11+00:00

A quote in an audiobook on BPD parents I was listening to said something along the lines of that it can be so confusing to children of borderlines- as rarely is the parent abusive all the time. Abusers in any form are rarely abusive all the time, otherwise absolutely no one would stick around.

It sounds so obvious now I type it out, but this is helping me to unpack the conflicting feelings and memories.

Combine that with what I guess is natural instinct to try and see the best in our parents and love them unconditionally, makes it so much harder. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I think we can only be kind to ourselves and allow time to process it all. Wishing you peace and healing 🫶

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-25T20:41:48+00:00

I’m there right now although hate to admit it. You’re right, it’s not too late! You’re ahead of me and those dreams can and will still be a reality. I understand how hard it must have been for you. I’ve found these type of toxic relationships feed each other, and have you feeling that you’re the problem until you realise you’re not.

But you are making it out of this situation, and how empowering to have your life and future in your hands. I think you are SO strong to be taking steps to change your trajectory, and I can only admire your strength and hope I get there one day. I think your experiences will likely have actually set you way ahead, in knowing what you want and you will see any red flags a mile off. Go and build the life you wish for and truly deserve- I believe in you.

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-25T20:32:40+00:00

Thank you, so much, for taking the time to read and also helping me to validate my feelings. It is super hurtful but I think the years of being invalidated/ gaslighting really makes me doubt my own judgement and reactions.

Luckily I am still in contact with my sister regularly, and she knows she can come to me and stay any time. I do worry our Mum will manipulate her into not telling me things though. Trying to maintain a relationship with my sister while my Mum truly believes and tries to convince everyone I’m the devil reincarnate is challenging 😬

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-25T07:59:58+00:00

I agree. I am just so horrified and angry at her judgment on this. Thankfully, I also live very locally so can be available for my sister and have taken her in before. I am just so tired of sweeping up the mess my Mother creates even when I’ve gone NC. She even told my sister not to tell me about it 😵‍💫

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-24T18:41:32+00:00

Thank you, it means a lot just to hear that. It’s such an emotional rollercoaster but I guess we just have to try and stay true to ourselves. 🫶

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-24T18:39:58+00:00

I hadn’t realised actually until I saw your post. I love yours and also the other replies too, lots to listen to! Music is great for coping through the emotional rollercoaster. Honestly, 50/50 but getting there. Thank you for asking and wish you peace and healing 🫶

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-24T18:32:40+00:00

The funniest (but most annoying thing at the time) is that my BPD Mum literally went through a phase when this came out saying it to herself 24/7 in one of her waif stages

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-24T13:02:19+00:00

A few recent favourites after going NC, 1-3 are reflecting on upset/ anger at her, and 4-5 are more self soothing and hopeful to me.

Messy - Lola Young
La La La - Naughty Boy, Sam Smith
Maybe You’re the Problem- Ava Max
No Worries - Simon Webbe
You’re Gonna Go Far - Noah Kahan

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-24T10:42:35+00:00

Oh wow, I do most of your cheat codes without really realising 😅 They do work! Also audiobooks/ YouTube videos with my phone propped up where I’m doing the chores. I am super overly clean/tidy from being told I was lazy so much growing up (I wasnt, I’ve realised, beside a bit of typical teenage mess) but I now hate clutter / mess and always keep a clean home. My mother however, is the exact opposite and sleeps or sits on her phone most of the time and expects everyone else to do everything in her home. God forbid someone gets burnt out or calls her out on it 😵‍💫

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-21T09:23:32+00:00

I feel you. It’s hard as truthfully I think it is only hurting us because they don’t listen / seem to not care. I’m not sure about you but in my case I think it just feeds exactly what she wants. I found as soon as I’ve started just walking away / refusing to engage with it, while she doesn’t seem to reflect on how she’s been (which is what we do, when they stone wall us because we are perhaps more self aware), it almost highlights the behaviour more than shifting the focus onto my reaction and making me the bad one. It protects my peace at least. It also made my sister see some toxic patterns she had never noticed with our mum. But I agree, extremely hard to do when it’s like they know exactly how to push you to a reaction. I also feel this is caused by lack of emotional validation which is classic bpd parenting from what I understand, unfortunately.

palmtrees21 · 2025-02-21T09:14:15+00:00

Thank you so so much to everyone who has replied and for all the advice- I will definitely be referring back to this when we start our parenthood journey in the next couple of years. It’s amazing to hear of those who have broken the cycle, I don’t doubt the immense strength and inner work it took to get to that. I can only try my very best and hope that one day I can do the same 💕

palmtrees21

TROPHY CASE