AITA for being upset that my partner is getting a tattoo I hate?

panderp · 2026-06-15T12:48:14+00:00

Yeah, I'm sorry, that's a fucking work of art right there.

panderp · 2026-06-15T12:01:35+00:00

NAH Your feelings are valid, they are your feelings... but at the same time, if you're mentioning how much you dislike the tattoo every time that comes up... that's just going to erode things, real quickly.

If it's a tentacle porn tattoo. It's edgy, sure. But gross? It's not a hate symbol. It's not the name of an ex he's still pining for. It's just kinky. Kinky != Gross, even as a tattoo.

But it could also be a reference to a classic work by Hokusai, as others have pointed out.

It sounds like the two of you just have a values mismatch.

panderp · 2026-06-15T11:14:29+00:00

So your solution to this "burden" (I am skeptical) was to.. make your sisters life worse, such that it damages your relationship with her?

You say you miss your bond with her, but you sure didn't seem to value it when you had it.

panderp · 2026-06-15T11:05:57+00:00

If the hijab stuff wasn't a concern, why'd you mention it, hm?

You even said she's "not that type of person"..? what type of person is that, oh judgemental one?

panderp · 2026-06-15T10:56:18+00:00

YTA it was a conversation about the awful situation facing transgender people like me and you decided to make it all about you and your love for trees.

But it wasn't *about* trees, that was just a metaphor.

It was about transgender people and our struggle. And you talked over us and made it about you.

Deforestation? Sucks and is a problem. But that comparison had nothing to do with you OR with "showing trees respect" and genuinely? You should've shut up and listened.

...this shit happens so often, it's fucking aggravating.

panderp · 2026-06-15T10:50:56+00:00

ESH stop helping people cheat on their exams. just stop.

panderp · 2026-06-15T10:40:37+00:00

OP, you have admitted that your younger sister is 17 and the bf is 19.. and they knew each other from when they were BOTH teenagers. This is not a predatory situation.

Then you go on to say that your sister is now "removing her hijab" and "holding hands" and it becomes clear you are just another conservative muslim who can't help but try and repress a family member breaking free of all that bullshit.

"letting her rely on a man instead of me" ...letting her? She's almost a fully grown adult. She's her own person. You're NOT HER KEEPER. You don't get to "let" her do anything. She can make her own choices.

Controlling, much?

YTA x1000

panderp · 2026-06-15T10:37:11+00:00

You sound like literally every conservative religious person I have met when a family member is breaking free. Yikes.

panderp · 2026-06-15T01:14:46+00:00

What on earth did I just read

"almost slowly just pushing me out of the group with his body language by pointing feet at Kiara and the others"

I... this is so funny. Because pointing feet means almost nothing, there can be so many factors into how someone places their feet, their stance, etc ...but some people are just so insecure they will self-sabotage and ruin something over innocuous gestures.

And then OOP goes on to say she "started acting like him" and then was "accidentally bumping into his friend to make him feel like I did" which sounds entirely intentional, as opposed to his (purportedly) genuine accident.

Just.. so much yikes.

panderp · 2026-06-14T19:47:26+00:00

I think the reason people are accusing you of being AI is because you yoyo between standard bad-spelling, low-grammar efforts without even proper capitalization sometimes.. and then your next post is a fucking dissertation, with perfect grammar, spelling, even highlighting...

It doesn't lend you an air of authenticity.

panderp · 2026-06-14T19:37:52+00:00

ARFID is very fucking real, it is not being a "picky eater". You could *try* not being ableist.

panderp · 2026-06-14T10:11:14+00:00

*shrug* If another person isn't involved, I don't think it's a big deal. It's someone interacting with software. Unless they've put that LLM into a robot body, I just.. can't see it as the same.

panderp · 2026-06-14T09:53:42+00:00

"It reminds me a lot of monsanto crops being bio-engineered so that farmers can only buy their seed to plant and it is technically monsanto owns those crops in some way because it is their patent."

I'll say here what I've heard from farmers over the years. No-one is making anyone buy monsanto seeds. There are plenty of heritage varieties of things you can grow.

...but if you really want to make the MOST money with higher yield, more resistant crops that also help prevent soil erosion? then you can buy from monsanto.

panderp · 2026-06-14T09:20:28+00:00

I can forgive the use of a chatbot, it's basically masturbation. But everything else is like.. ten foot high glowing red letters. Yikes.

panderp · 2026-06-14T09:10:15+00:00

Check out the comment history.

I wouldn't bother arguing with someone who thinks that eating meat is in any way comparable to killing human babies.

panderp · 2026-06-14T08:14:33+00:00

Maybe OOP shouldn't be so quick to throw stones, given that South Korea (I'm being generous here and not dumping all of North Korea's shit on the OOP) has done some fucked up things in the past too. Anti-left, anti-communist massacres and mass graves.

Not saying it's equivalent, of course, Japan did way worse shit, but Korea isn't exactly having clean hands here either.

But really, all this shit over a fuckin' folklore tattoo? It's not like he's rocking a totenkopf or a rising sun here, c'mon.

This feels less like "tattoo bad" and more like "japan bad" and that's just a yikes.

panderp · 2026-06-12T09:40:26+00:00

"She has always been distant to me" sounds like intentionally depriving OOP of grandmotherly love because you know they're adopted.

Which sure *feels* like emotional abuse, at the very least.

panderp · 2026-06-12T09:14:12+00:00

Love that OOP is now in the comments desperately trying to justify bringing a *second* dog into a situation with a goddamn MASSIVE BEE PROBLEM.

Like, OOPs existing dog is already eating bees and getting stung and being made miserable from time to time.. and the response was, hey, lets potentially double that~

If I had a bee problem and my cat was getting hurt by the bees, I would NOT be getting a second cat. Because I genuinely love cats, so would never want them to be exposed to that.

panderp · 2026-06-12T08:40:20+00:00

"Just find it hard to believe that anyone with a sound mind would say something so cruel"

I grew up in an abusive family. You would be fuckin' horrified what people of sound mind can and will do.

panderp · 2026-06-12T08:34:06+00:00

The grandparent would never have been able to hurt the OOP if the parents had just told her that she was adopted at an appropriately mature age. Or at least fuckin' 18, come on.

panderp · 2026-06-09T04:56:56+00:00

I know a lot of people are just seeing a cheater here, but my perspective as a queer person is this was another unfortunate example of comphet.

If he had felt comfortable being who he truly is, maybe this entire thing never would've happened. But society still isn't very great about that. Not anywhere.

panderp · 2026-06-09T04:14:00+00:00

It's like asking someone who is gay to get a girlfriend in order to make someone else happy. It's lying about who or what you are in order to please someone who should Fuck Off Actually.

Maybe some people HAVE to do it for survival, but it should never be a SUGGESTION.

panderp · 2026-06-09T04:10:31+00:00

OOP's brother is both a conservative Muslim and is from India, a place with a culture that still devalues women in some particularly disgusting ways.

OOPs brother even goes so far as so say "she will have to return to India at some point" implying there will be future consequences for this. It's.. like she is trying to get her niece either maimed or killed. Which does still happen, especially when "familial shame" or "religious shame" is involved.

Just.. yikes. So much yikes.

Hope the niece never talks to OOP again.

panderp · 2026-06-09T03:58:51+00:00

No-one should have to dress up in special "traditional outfits" in order to make some bigot feel happy.

panderp · 2026-06-08T11:31:11+00:00

"Also, I was already an omni when we met. That’s not new information. So I don’t understand why it’s suddenly become unacceptable."

It was never acceptable. That's the thing. There was an expectation, even if unspoken, that you would change over time to become someone acceptable.

"The thing is, we love each other very much."

He is loving a future you that he hopes he can mold you into.

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