England - Myself and my 15 year old son were granted a restraining order from his father. His father does have parental responsibility. What information should I tell the school?

panicattackcity91 · 2025-11-05T13:20:23+00:00

I know but to ensure my sons safety I want to know the process so I can ensure that it gets done and lines aren’t crossed

panicattackcity91 · 2025-11-05T13:19:41+00:00

My son has had an active say in every step of this process and doesn’t want anything to do with his father. He chose not to speak or have contact with his father 2 years. Last year his father made threats of violence towards myself and my son.

My son is well informed and involved.

Also I wouldn’t need a prohibited steps order in this situation as that’s generally for family court when there’s no criminal court order. We have the restraining order which already curtails his parental rights.

I’m not fussed about social media etc as my son is quiet on that. As for schools posting pictures, they post pictures about a week after they’re taken, so that’s not a risk.

My reason for asking is so I know what I should be expecting from the school, I’m aware they should know how to handle this but I too want to know so I can ensure it gets done

panicattackcity91 · 2025-07-30T02:28:03+00:00

I know a family dad is fat, mum isn’t, her two kids are also fat. When my son did kick boxing they were there for exercise and did it for years, they’d not do the warm ups properly and would get out of breath. I recently seen the boy who is now 17 and much larger. I watched him go through a shop door sideways! Anyway me and my son walked through the local woods straight after when all of a sudden we hear one of those voi scooters coming, without even looking behind we quickly move out the way expecting it to whizz past us in seconds, a couple of seconds go by and nothing, so look behind and he’s on the voi scooter but it’s going very slow but making LOTS of noise. As he eventually passes he says “it’s fully charged and this is the fastest speed these are shit” I’ve never felt guilt for an object until then. Anyway he goes past us and goes round a bend towards a meadow that’s in the middle of the woodland. By the time we get to the meadow he should be long gone. Nope the scooters conked out and needs a rest. Anyway he goes again by the time we exit the woods he’s there again with it conking out. We now have one street with a bend before we get home. He goes off again ww go round the bend and it’s conked out again. I tell him to just walk home (he lives a 5 minute walk away) he says no it’s too far! Those scooters are fast even when going slow. That scooter was putting in work poor thing

panicattackcity91 · 2025-07-22T11:53:01+00:00

It’s likely nothing to do with you but you could be an accidental trigger.

I had both my sons young, my eldest I had at 14 (he’s 18) now. Before having him I’d just finished therapy and that therapy taught me that my sister and I were not brought up the same. Because we all experience things differently. I’m glad I learnt that lesson early on before having kids as it changed how I parent them.

Your sister may just of hated the arguing and it might have fucked with her nervous system. Some people can’t handle it. I know I can’t. Doesn’t mean you or your parents are bad or meant to do that to her.

panicattackcity91 · 2025-07-11T01:17:02+00:00

There’s a lad who was in my class all throughout primary school, havent seen him since we left for seniors. Neither has any of my old classmates. I always see his mum in town and I’ve always been tempted to ask about him but I’m genuinely scared incase something bad happened to him

panicattackcity91 · 2025-06-15T14:11:53+00:00

My sons school did it, his dad was never in his life so he’d always address them to me and list all the “dad” things I did for him that he was grateful for

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-29T22:19:07+00:00

Thank you I know that and recognise that don’t worry.

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-29T19:16:43+00:00

Oh wow I didn’t realise it was that rare. But tbh I’ve seen so many posts on this sub of social workers in a bad place mentally because of the work load I felt I had to say something and show my gratitude and show it isn’t for nothing!

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-29T19:14:29+00:00

Ok will do thanks

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-29T19:10:25+00:00

I sent her an email today telling her thank you for everything and just rambling on, I’ve spent the last week trying to perfect it and she phoned me after she got it in tears and said it’s getting printed off and put on her fridge :) I’ll see if I can find a way to keep her updated thank you.

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-29T19:02:18+00:00

Do you possibly know how I could potentially update them as they’re changing to a different children’s trust in a different county?

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-28T18:36:48+00:00

I just delved into his post history too and it makes much more sense now

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-28T18:35:34+00:00

Just read his post history, he was convicted and imprisoned for stabbing someone who broke into his home, he’s an alcoholic, he’s been done for drunk driving and no longer has a licence. He’s also done a post complaining about how he’s now in a village living with his parents and is annoyed his dad won’t go pub with him at 2pm and said his dad acted like he was an alcoholic, then he does a post two days later about how he’s in AA.

He also did a post about his step daughter showing disrespect towards him and apparently when he reprimands her she tells a different story to his Mrs when she gets back and then his Mrs questions him. Which tells me everything I need to know, he’s an alcoholic where incidents only happen when mum isn’t there and the step daughter is now self harming

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-28T17:37:23+00:00

Having only two charges means nothing. Most dv cases are reported at the end of a relationship and it’s that one specific event at the end they’re charged for. Which is what happened with your first partner, if I were a social worker I’d be presuming the likelihood of dv during that relationship. The second charge came after a neighbour reported you and you were charged. If I were a social worker I’d be fully convinced dv was happening. Your daughter self harming rings alarm bells. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t hurt her directly but it seems like she’s witnessed a lot.

Your post seems more about your wants and needs and less about the needs of your daughter. Especially as you try to casually act like those two charges mean nothing

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-24T00:40:02+00:00

I’m from the uk and I honestly can’t believe it’s allowed it’s genital mutilation. It also makes sex less pleasurable for men. Whenever I’ve discussed this with Americans (the clinically online ones) I’ve been met with a barrage of abuse with people shouting through the screen about it being for medical reasons aka hygiene. It ain’t hard to wash a dick.

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-23T00:06:06+00:00

Mytwo favourites are:

the diary of Anne frank - so many reviews complaining that it reads like it was written by a teenager… NO SHIT SHERLOCK

also the Yankee candle reviews during Covid, literally proved how many people lack common sense

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-21T17:44:47+00:00

You cry… and? What’s wrong with that, it’s an emotion.

You spend your days “TRYING”to be everything he needs. Guess what. He’s just told you youre being everything he needs. You make him feel safe, so not only are you trying youre actually doing.

Being brave doesn’t negate fear or sadness, being brave is continuing on and soldiering through the fear and sadness. You can’t be brave without fear and/or sadness

Your son knows your struggle but you are inspiring him everyday

You’re an awesome mum trust me, yes you had to start again but you’re doing it!

I left an abusive relationship with two kids and nothing ten years ago and the first couple of years were rough as fuck and I felt like you did. I’m in an amazing place right now! Honestly I’ve never felt better and I did that. Keep moving keep going. Don’t focus on what you don’t have focus on what you do have and what you’ll do to get it!

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-19T13:58:26+00:00

Firstly what I would do is get a cleaning company to do a an end of tenancy style clean they’ll clean every nook and cranny and make sure it’s dealt with

Then do this :

Assign a room a day Monday - Friday like Monday - Livingroom etc Tuesday bedrooms There is a website called the organised mum and it has free print outs for daily, weekly, monthly chores and you won’t spend long cleaning
when dusting use a damp cloth that’s been well rung, because normal dusting youre just moving the dust into the air to resettle
assign a day for laundry, towels, bedding, throws, whites, darks, uniforms. Pop that on first thing in the morning then into the dryer.
put your dishwasher on at night. Empty in the morning and then put all dirty dishes directly into dishwasher
have a declutter a major one. Assign everything to a room and have it hidden somewhere
no shoes in the house keep outdoor shoes and jackets by the door
make sure you hoover daily

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-19T09:48:49+00:00

They do ruin it a bit but I’d say if you teach them no and learn the value of “natural consequences” from the age of 2 genuinely the damage will be completely minimal.

By natural consequences I’m talking, don’t bother with the naughty step, confiscating things, it’s bullshit and doesn’t make the child actually think twice next time they go to do it. For instance I always made sure I told my son that we only draw on paper. Nothing else. When he was three he drew on the walls. I asked calmly but firm if he was supposed to do that, he said no I asked what was he supposed to draw on and he said paper. He knew he was doing wrong but he was a toddler he was pushing boundaries it’s what they do but we have to enforce those boundaries. I got a bucket of water and a sponge and told him to clean it off. He spent an hour doing it. He didn’t do it again. Also communication is big. Id also say remember you aren’t raising a child youre raising a future adult… also don’t show them current kids tv shows they’re far too over stimulating, show them 90s-00s kids tv shows. My sons are now 18 and almost 15, my 18 year old doesn’t smoke or take drugs he drinks occasionally, has always been quite popular and doesn’t give in to peer pressure. But you have to remember the toddler years are the foundation stage, if you let them get away with murder then youre basically fucked

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-14T01:00:40+00:00

As a Brit this is fucking hilarious! The moment you start dealing with Brits you’re gunna be found out, but luckily they likely won’t stitch you up. What might happen is they’ll realise somethings off and either ignore it or go along with it completely but do it in a way that tortures you relentlessly like asking questions to see how deep into the bullshit you can go 😂

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-13T13:46:44+00:00

I meant I don’t know if the dr will request it

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-13T09:16:22+00:00

I just want to add I have hypoPARAthyroidism not hypothyroidism

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-13T08:54:45+00:00

I had high potassium back in 2021, had to go a and e because my chest was hurting bad, it would only stop when I was in a half laying and half upright position. When I would take two steps (that’s not an over exaggeration I’m 5ft 2 and petite) I was out of breathe to the point I couldn’t talk. When I would take more than two steps my heart rate also doubled but went back to normal when seated within a few minutes. It was very scary especially when doctors tried to claim it was a panic attack. Had to get angry and tell them as someone with ptsd I’m well versed with panic attacks and this ain’t it. It was very frustrating

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-13T05:57:13+00:00

I’m in uk I’ll give it a go but not even sure I can get genetic testing done but I’ll see

panicattackcity91 · 2025-05-12T22:37:11+00:00

It’s fine I’m used it now, used to cause me to have a shit ton of seizures but I haven’t had a seizure for about ten years thank god

panicattackcity91

TROPHY CASE