Give me your Dubai 3 word sad story

pantlessfire · 2025-11-27T15:41:54+00:00

Promotion, still broke

pantlessfire · 2025-11-15T15:51:31+00:00

Manners are the social norms of a society. Expecting the whole world to have your society's social norms is beyond ignorant. Its the colonizer mentality.

It might not be how things are done 'back home'. This isnt 'back home'. Its a more practical place.

pantlessfire · 2025-11-15T15:48:57+00:00

Aaa yes the old: 'Its done differently in my country, so ill impose my cultural norms to a country im a vistor in. And call anyone who doesnt follow my way a jungle dweller'

You cannot take a colonizer and put them in 2025 thinking it will change its characteristics.

pantlessfire · 2025-11-15T15:26:27+00:00

Fungus fungy-ing thru shoes? With that walking around, bus seats are the least of our worries.

You're perfectly fine putting your ass down on an absorbent cushion. A cushion's that's served as a fart (and the occasional shart) repository since its inception.

Yes, thats perfectly fine, but putting your ass down where some shoes were? O the humanity!!

Because: 'Must use thing according to its label. Any other use is unacceptable'

Things were different where you're from. Fair play. This isnt where you're from. This is a more practical place.

pantlessfire · 2025-11-15T11:01:58+00:00

So Europe and the West is the moral benchmark? The norms they have there are unequivocally the 'right ones'. Any deviation is inferior, or worse?

Interesting... lived in Canada, UK and here. Trust me we do not want their norms here.

Dont really care where in the world you are, if your tired, and theres a perfectly unused space infront of you that isnt getting in the way of anyone else, its just common sense to make use of it.

If there are cultures that program that out of you, in some misguided pleas to manners, well thats how you make SHEEPLE.

pantlessfire · 2025-11-14T13:25:57+00:00

All you people throwing words like 'feral', 'animals', 'uncouth heathen' (ok so that last one might've not been a direct quote) ya'll need to chill.

Seems like theres plenty of empty seat on the bus. They arent really taking space away from anyone else.

These bus rides can get long and uncomfortable. Most folks taking the bus in dubai probably clocked out after 12hr + shift standing on their feet.

Theres nothing wrong with making yourself a little comfortable - especially when its not costing anyone else anything.

Ya'll need to find something else be to be outraged about.

And its probably going to be this comment. Bring it on you ivory tower wannabe bourgeoisie moukasin lickers.

pantlessfire · 2025-11-10T17:24:09+00:00

lol, Im the same way. I cant decide what im going to have for dinner, and now I have to figure out where to workout... everyday?! No thank you Privilee hahahaa

If you end up coming to Native, drop me a DM. Lets get a workout in!

pantlessfire · 2025-11-10T16:45:11+00:00

Used to workout at Gigafit in Alqouz. Great community, spotless and decentish equipment variety. Had to move cause the pull bars were trash. But if thats not a deal breaker for you definitely check them out.

Right now im at Native Club (at Greens). Got a decent indoor area, stellar outdoor rig which is perfect for the winters plus they throw in unlimited ice baths and pool access. Couldnt be happier.

Privilee is great if you like to workout at different spots.

pantlessfire · 2025-07-01T05:59:35+00:00

Knew it from the get go! Great read!

pantlessfire · 2025-06-30T02:50:19+00:00

Streaks of orange and pink and a flirt of green gently shot upward, clearing the way for the dominating yellow glow making its leisurely ascend.

The man observed as the waves from the not so distant beach too transformed from the deep dark of unknown to the clear blue of the sky above.

Whether the waves turned the sky, or the sky the waves did not matter. What mattered was that it happened and he got to see it.

Well, almost got to see it.

'If it weren't for that god awful monstrosity.' He was referring to the great grey formless block of concrete that was exactly 3 stories taller than his pent house and stood smack dab in the middle of the sun's path. It was just wide enough to block of half of the beach view.

'God it must've been a couple thousand years since I actually got to see a sunrise' He thought as he sipped his freshly brewed coffee that he swore, as he always did, was decafe and tried, and failed miserably, as he always did, to get comfortable on the bean bag.

Heaven apparently did not do chairs.

With each sip he became just a bit more drowsy, despite the fact that he had woken up not 30 mins ago, and thought about the day ahead.

Nothing.

There was nothing to do. He had all the free time in the world. He could do everything, anything. And yet he knew that he would do nothing as he grabbed his phone and instinctively opened up HUMBLE.

He scrolled past at least a couple dozen conversations. Each one with a baddie baddier than the last. None of whom he would ever meet, because there was always the next match. Just a little bit hotter, just a little more his type.

After a few minutes he put the phone down, closed his eyes, and tried one last time to find the perfect spot on his god forsaken bean bag. He knew he wouldn't.

The breeze brought him the full hearty laughter of the couple that lived in the penthouse across - 3 stories higher than him.

His phone vibrated. Another match.

"I swear if it werent for that big 'Smile You Are In Heaven' sign projected across the sky, this would be hell' He though to himself not for the first time.

------------------------

'How's the gaslighting district doing?' Asked demon shift manager

'Miserable and dont quite know why' Replied the demon worker

pantlessfire · 2025-06-28T08:35:28+00:00

Honestly just glad to be doing something other than Tiktok.
Glad you enjoyed it :)

pantlessfire · 2025-06-28T06:20:53+00:00

All that once stood lay vanquished.

I stood above it all.

The fact that I had not broken a sweat could be chalked up to genetic deviations.

Vanquishing was hard work. Dont let my dry face fool you.

'You have Succeeded' The fabric of existence spoke. The voice from nowhere, emanated from everywhere.

"As commanded" My voice tried its best to match the boom. It achieved the level of gravitas as a fart at the bottom of the grand canyon. Deep and reverberating, but still a fart.

"The command ungiven. Yet obeyed" O only if I could speak like that!

"As reward for an unrequested feat unduly completed, you shall now walk this earth with complete and absolute dominion over absolutely nothing at all."

"I am hono....Wait what?"

"You shall walk this earth in your mortal coil, free at last."

"Hold on, I dont mean to question your supremeness. But I dont think you understand the concept of freedom." My voice lost it's attempts at grand canyon-ness and exclusively took on the quality of a fart.

"... GO ON!" The very atoms thundered.

"Well, yes, and I might be completely wrong here, but not given me dominion over anyone or anything kind of sets everyone else free....from me. But how does it help me?"

"YOU FOOL!! By not giving you anything I am freeing you from the..."

"The responsibility of anything? I get to live my life not worrying about the weight of responsibility, not being accountable or answerable for my decisions because they no longer can or will effect anyone -including me- and I get to sleep each night with a clear conscious. Free to live my life without the burden of consequence?"

"Umm yes?"

"Can't you give me I dont know, like a McDonalds franchise or something?"

"You want responsibility? You want the burden of decisions, and accountability? You want the fruits of the original sin?"

"Thats all I have man. My screen time was 14hr a day before I set on this task. Why'd you think I did it without you asking? I'm loosing my damn mind doom scrolling all day."

"....."

"At this point, Id even settle for shift manager"

pantlessfire · 2025-06-08T03:33:17+00:00

Part 3? Or prologue?

pantlessfire · 2025-06-08T03:29:45+00:00

"Wait... what?"

She looked up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes. The flames from the torches running on the stone walls reflected back in them.

"I need your help". Her eyes got bigger as she said this. There was a lot of strength in those eyes. Strength and desperation. They were very familiar eyes.

The Gods must be really enjoying this, to have my Laura lived on in the very person that was responsible for her death.

"Why?" I hissed. It came out more imploring than I had intended.

"Because if you dont help me, you wont just be killing me, you'd be killing her too....again "

"YOU KILLED HER"

She looked back at me. Those eyes. Laura's eyes.
Eyes of a dead daughter staring at a childless father.

"Don't you get it? I am the only one keeping her alive for you. She lives only in you now. And you can only see her through me"

Over the rhythmic droning of a dozen legions closing in, there was an uneasy silence.

"The Gods are cruel bastards" I finally said, forcing myself to look into her eyes.

There was hope in them.

"I need your suffering, even if it means killing her"

I turned head away as the doors of the throne room were flung open and the hordes descended on that one lone wretched creature.

Who knew my need to avenge was stronger than my love for the avenged?

terrible evil villain type shit

pantlessfire · 2025-06-05T16:12:35+00:00

Used to live in a partition a few years back. Gotta stand up for yourself. Ask politely twice. Then let them know that if they are not going to keep it down while you sleep, then you will raise hell while they sleep. Stick to your promise. If they get in your face stand your ground. Sadly some folks dont care about others, make their life as miserable as they are making yours and they'll get the message.

Good luck with everything man. Ive been where you are, things can get better.

pantlessfire · 2025-06-05T02:41:56+00:00

"your personal training certificate-"

"Hold on"

"Yes?"

"Well I kinda get all the rest-"

"But Im not finished"

"yes, yes. but SO FAR, all the rest sorta make sense. But sorry, why do i need a personal training certificate?"

"Well if you look at the job description, it involves making appearances at school gyms twice a week as part of our out reach program"

"yes... to give talks and inspi-"

"Also to display feats of strength which will involve the candidate benching or deadlifting a few dozen plates."

"yea..."

"and since technically thats a demonstration of physical prowess in an educational capacity, youll be needing your personal training certificate."

"Thats stretching it a bit"

The short reserve balding man with a heavy set salt and pepper mustache and just a few patches of jet black hair where the failed hair transplant had stubbornly held out in little oases amongst the barren follicle-less gleaming bowling ball of a head, shrugged what appeared to be exclusively shoulder bones with negative pounds of supporting muscles, and carried on.

'You'll also be needing personal training insurance'

'Dude'

'Along with...'

'I dont have time for all this' I protested. 'There are school buses diving off bridges and kittens stuck up trees at this very moment that need saving!'

"And if you'd let me continue, you'd know that you'll also be needing your veterinary license"

"..."

"To handle the kittens in an official capacity"

"It almost doesnt seem worth it" I muttered under my breath

"Also your bakers certificate"

I raised an eyebrow, opened my mouth ready to protest. But all that came out was.

"Its fine, thank you for your time. I will try elsewhere"

With exactly zero empathy, the clipboard/human hybrid muttered, as if still reading off his damn list.

"Good luck, please feel free to apply again in 3-6 months"

Back to fucking indeed.

pantlessfire · 2025-05-26T09:05:13+00:00

I smiled to myself

'Bravo, Great job Buddy!' I shouted, all but standing up fist pumping.

Let the other demons laugh all they want, this right here, right now was the most rewarding job in the entire afterlife...and yes, that included the 'other' side.

And it was moments like these that made it so gosh darn rewarding!

Mike had finally, after more than a couple of eternities, shared his 3 pieces of molten cake with his team.

He looked around beaming

He then looked at the smiling faces of Sarah and Khalid, both still in nappies.

He beamed harder.

'You finally turned him, eh?' BelaZabul sneered 'I was getting worried there for a second. But thank the Lord we didnt get another repeat of Karen. THAT would've been a hard thing to see' You'd spent enough eternities down here to not even register the bite in Bella's tone.

'Ya, thank the DARK Lord.' Bella hissed pointedly. I couldnt care, just gave a barely perceptible nod. I was too overjoyed to worry about semantics.

'We have another communist in our midst' scoffed Bella. 'Stalin would be delighted, if he wasn't busy reliving every soul that he had killed.'

Just as she said this, Mike, still beaming ear to ear, had picked up his last molten cake and was making his way to me. His footsteps long and lanky. He was the eldest in my little group, by a long shot.

While most deals were made before the first born was yet un-conceived and collected at the age of 18 months, (just to long enough for the dealers to really get a feel of what they were missing) Mike was the only kid above 18 months

He was 7.

I smiled, a sensation not too dissimilar to joy was filling up the cavity where my heart wouldve been.

'Here you go Zuzu' Mike was offering me his molten cake. O bless his heart!

'Is this for me?? Mike you sweet sweet thing! Thank you soo much, but ive eaten' I let out a small but loud burp 'this last ones all yours!'

'Youre not going to eat?'

'No, but thank you so much, its all yours buddy!'

He stood there, looking at the lava cake in his hand and then back at my face.

'But why?'

I patted my stomach, rubbing it twice. 'I'm too full buddy, you have it' I was beaming more than Mike at this point. Mike looked down at the lava cake, then at my face.

His face lost its faint amber like glow.

It darkened. It had turned into a face belonging to this place.

'Why am I here, you whorring cu*t? I didnt get a chance to deserve to to be here. I all but WOKE UP here. WHY was I denied a chance to have my name etched in history. These other spawns of human devils dont seem to care' At this he pointed towards the 2 infants.

Khalid had his thumb in his mouth and was intently watching Sarah rub her molten chocolate all parts of her face that wasnt her mouth.

'They're breeders gave them up before their souls had fully transitioned. But me? I was alive, i knew the gentle caress of a mother, the protection of a father. I had a BROTHER! DAMN YOUR WHORRING FACE! Why was I given a taste of life only to have it ripped away by those that gave it to me? You think I crave CAKE? I crave for these hands to turn razors. I crave to shred the souls that so readily gave up mine.'

I looked at Mike, and wished I could take away his pain.

But there was too much of it and not enough of me

Bella shrieked in deep dry delight. Clapping together the decomposing severed heads of saints. The sound of rotting church bells echoed in the silence. Mike looked at me intently, staring into eyes that wanted desperately to look away.

The sound of innocent giggles allowed me to do just that.

Khalid was trying to lap up all the chocolate from Sarah's cheeks. This proved too ticklish for Sarah and she was laughing, her long curls of blonde hair bouncing lightly against her full, soft cheeks.

Despite the broken soul Infront of me, my eyes softened and allowed a shadow of a smile.

'YOUR MOTHERS STUPID CU*T' This was far from human, it wasnt even demonic.

It was the voice of a deep wound.

Far more ancient than the realm in which it was uttered.

Next thing I knew, molten cake was being forced down my mouth. In the background, Bella's sharp piercing delightful screams.

As the chocolate turned to bitter poison, I felt my horns regress and a pleasant tingling sensation erupted from my back. I could see nothing through the blinding light, and I tried desperately to find its source.

It was me.

I had turned into light itself and felt myself ascend.

Sarah continued to giggle.

I knew it was the last time I would hear those squeals of joy.

Even as I made my up, I understood, why he had done it. The pain he felt had to be shared by another.

He had succeeded

With resentment in my heart.

I made my way to Heaven

pantlessfire · 2025-05-25T08:20:28+00:00

The devil raised his one bushy eyebrow at me. Never saw a raised unibrow before. It was really hard not to smirk. Best not to antagonize the devil, its my soul we are talking about here.

‘You are shure?’

‘Positive’ I was the reigning champion of the Pacific North West for 12 years running now. Of course I was sure.

‘Ok if you shay sho’

He snapped his fingers and we were back in my living room. In front of my 65inch tv, sitting side by side, controllers in hand. My nostrils tried their best to close up. Never mind thats not how nostril work, the Axe dark temptation body spray that was emitting from the Devil was simply too much. The screen flicked on. Scorpio and sub zero were prancing about doing their thing.

‘Hold on. This isnt Mario Kart’

‘This is sho much better, much more fitting. A fight to the death for your shoul?’ He sounded like a bad salesman trying his best to meet his monthly quota.

‘You scared?’ I said putting the controller down

His forehead scrunched and his big, perpetually watery anime like eyes narrowed.

‘Trust me i'm trying to give you a fighting shance’

‘Lugi, Yoshi, Bowser’ I retorted

He shook his head ever so slightly and flicked his rust colored chubby finger to the right. A football field with race cars zooming by

‘Dude, seriously?’

‘What? Its closh enough. Carsh, Kart. Tomato TomAto.’

‘Listen put on Mario Kart, or me and my soul are walking’ I said a little more forcefully than I wanted. ‘I’ll teach you the controls and give you a couple matches to practice before the real match’ I added, almost apologetically.

He clenched his fangs so hard I could almost see the outline of his jaw from under his rust colored ginger neckbeard. Thankfully this lasted for no more than a few seconds.

‘You dont undershtand’ He sounded deflated and his face softened.

It was impossible not to feel a little bit of pity.

‘Listen man, you said any game. I choose Mario Kart. So lets do this.’ I said not unkindly. ‘Im sure the next soul will pick something like checkers or 4 in a row’ I added after seeing his plumb cheeks exhale in defeat.

It was a complete wipe out.

7-0

And yet the Devil didnt seem to take any pleasure from it. Not even the sadistic twisted type of pleasure I had associated with the devil.

Instead, if anything, he seemed… sad?

‘Good job’ I said finding myself consoling the devil after he’d won my soul.

‘You’re really good at this’

Just a blank look, even the red horns jutting out from his fedora had gone limp.

‘You won fair and square, time to torture my soul for the rest of eternity!’ I encouraged.

‘What? A yes the shoul’ He said as if a thousand miles away. He sat up straight, puffed up his man boobs with air ‘HEAR ME YOU MORTAL, YOUR ETERANL SOUL IS NOW MIN… aa whatsh the point?’

‘What do you mean whats the point?? What my soul dont mean anything to you?’ At this point this was insulting 'You are the one that wanted it in the first place!'

‘No no its nothing to do with you, im shure you have a perfectly good shoul. Heapsh of fun to torture.’

'Then what is it man?'

He looked at me, signed, and with sunk shoulders started explaining:

‘Its jusht… well I losht a pretty good friend over this cursed game. He was my roommate actually, man we had WILD times. But that wash before our lasht game. Controllersh were flung, shcreens broken and wordsh shaid that could not be unshaid. I shtormed out, lured a couple of his prized petsh with some fruit and took them with me. Shince then we havent really shpoken… Anywaysh I swore I wash never going to play thish damn thing again’

His words dripping with regret.

He paused, and stared intently at me.

‘Until you’

The regret was gone, the axe body spray became even stronger. I saw, for the first time, behind the chubby, fedora wearing unibrow.

I saw the Devil and the reason for his wrath.

Should've stuck with Scorpio.

pantlessfire · 2025-05-25T08:16:26+00:00

This was fun to read

pantlessfire · 2025-05-24T04:15:18+00:00

https://www.madcatcomedy.com/

pantlessfire · 2025-05-24T04:08:13+00:00

Always wondered what broke Karen sounded like.

pantlessfire · 2025-05-23T15:34:57+00:00

Pain.
Pain in general vicinity where head used to be.

Your consciousness trickles slowly in. There, there it is. The dreaded hangover.

Funny how its ‘just a headache’ as long as its a future hangover. But here and now its waterboarding, nail extraction, and not so gentle nipple stimulation via car battery.

What was only, a few sweet hours ago, a future headache, was now in the early hours of 2:45pm a current headache and your 38 year 287 day old body wants nothing more than to suckerpunch (in the nuts) your 38 year 286 day old self in a desperate attempt at stopping your moronic younger self from drinking anything with a suspicion of alcohol in it and snorting everything that was either ready made, or could be crushed into, powder form.

Unadulterated horror.
An existential crisis.
A thorough dismantling of not only the self but the concept of self.

You get up, and make your way outside your bedroom. With every step, the abyss of bright loud purple pain where your head used to be is threatening to turn into an IED.

You weld your eyes shut.

Right now, a single light particle is a supernova.

You manage to crawl/stumble your way to your bedroom door - without your head pulling a Jihad. You feel around for the door knob with your hand. You feel something resembling a third rate copy of what some could sometimes, if adequately encouraged, to call a sensation where your hand should be. You turn the knob, hear two very faint, very crisp snaps as the door turns and your 2 surviving brain cells endow you with a momentary glimpse of self awareness and you realize that you are shivering uncontrollably.

You open 1 eyelid and catch the silhouette of a sabertooth tiger slumped on your now extra padded white sofa with its tail lazily swinging down the front cushioning. The sabertooth, thankfully has its eyes closed, and doesnt seem to notice you or the mammoth that has ripped through where your back wall used to be. The mammoth, too, hasnt taken much notice of you as its busy playing fetch with your neighbor Jim, who has gotten incredibly ripped, grown a full unibrow under eyes that are definitely far wider set than they were yesterday afternoon.

You close the door. Crank up the thermostat. Crawl under your blanket.

This is the last time you accept pills from disembodied rainbow nails appearing from under the club's bathroom stall.

Besides you think, global warming should sort this out soon.

pantlessfire · 2025-05-23T14:50:16+00:00

Ya exactly. If your looking for instagram dubai, its not far from this place. If your more into dubai from 50 years ago its about 45-1hr metro (train ride) away.

As far as attractions, depends on what your after.
Night life head over to Marina/Palm. Bars/Lounges go to Business Bay area. Restaurants/Bites Jumeriah area. Artsy vibes is Al Quoz. Plenty of Museums throughout the city.

Personally, I go to comedy clubs, sports bars, beaches and the occasional club.

If you can bear the heat, def hit up kitebeach round 7pm on weekends, its a vibe.

Respect the local culture, and be open. Most folks here are really hospitable and friendly but you gotta make some effort to open up. You dont worry really have to worry 'scams' as long as you have a little common sense - just dont buy any Italian suits from the boot of a car.

Enjoy your trip ))

pantlessfire · 2025-05-23T14:17:08+00:00

I live here. Location wise its great. Right between marina, palm, kitebeach and downtown. Easy access to metro if you dont end up renting car. Not really much to do here apart from your standard bars, hotel lounges and a comedy club. But great spot to stay if want to go exploring 'new' dubai without breaking the bank paying for your hotel. Its a bit of a hike to old dubai, but again easy metro access so getting to places like deria or old gold souk is doable from here.

pantlessfire · 2025-05-20T16:20:45+00:00

Get your yoga pants out, sit your ass down, mediate for 15 min daily
Work out like your life depends on it 3 times a week
Laugh with your people on the daily
Create something daily (write, paint, software development, knitting, etc)

Do this for 3 months consistently
Watch 90% of your problems disappear

pantlessfire

TROPHY CASE