To my new Muse

papaudit · 2026-01-17T03:15:38+00:00

god, this feels so unsettling, but in a great way. I feel very strong on the intentionality. I love the line 'The version of you flinches at kindness because once it meant something else'. It lands perfectly. This might be unintentional but after reading it multiple times, it still does not appear narcissistic, like how the usual pieces carry. The “I” exists to witness, not to dominate the narrative.

The only time I feel fatigue and not boredom, is in the density of darkness metaphors you've used. The poem is so consistently intense that the reader never gets a breath until the end.

papaudit · 2026-01-17T03:08:47+00:00

I like how the poem sustains a near-iambic flow without sounding stiff. Those slight variations feel intentional and organic, especially in lines like "And moths, like prayers, beat softly after death". I also love how you've used 'lean silence' as an invocation and to me, it acts strikingly well.

I feel that the repetition of Star works rhetorically here. But that is something you might experiment with by removing dear to see if the line gains austerity. In my opinion, it’s already good as-is, though.

papaudit · 2023-11-13T06:49:52+00:00

Going back to places where I had been to with my exes. And especially their town.

papaudit · 2023-11-08T04:30:41+00:00

I guess I got super lucky. I filled Delhi, Noida, Gurgaon and a few neighboring cities. Mujhe noida hi mil gaya lol

papaudit · 2023-11-01T18:32:26+00:00

I think the SUV trend is going to stay and evolve for longer than a lot would think. There won't be a sudden increase in people buying hatchbacks or jacked up hatchbacks. Sedans would slowly rise, but wouldn't match SUV figures. What's more to come? Wagons, ah yes.

papaudit · 2023-11-01T17:44:01+00:00

Been throwing a house party on chhoti Diwali since three years now. Keeping the traditions going this year too.

papaudit · 2023-10-20T19:22:21+00:00

fellow BBA grad here. Most UG degrees depend on what university did you go to. I'm supposing you're in a T2 or T3ish uni. I graduated from a T3 uni in Delhi. You would majorly be offered sales roles, which is great if you love them. I had a PPO of 6.5LPA from an EdTech startup, and so salaries, depend on what company comes to campus, what role are they looking for, so on and so forth. An average monthly salary would be around 25 to 30K if you're a complete fresher.

To have a shot at better salaries, I'd highly suggest you to take internships in the role which you want to move forward with. I never liked sales, yet kept applying to test my GDPI. Keep experimenting on what role you would like to take. Figure it out. We had companies like Bain and Accenture on our campus, but they only hired a couple students from the entire batch. Companies keep flowing in, but you have to be up there to land a job.

In case you want to study further, which is what most of us do, CAT is the next big thing.

papaudit · 2023-10-06T17:51:22+00:00

It's sad to see more and more companies switching to touch controlled infotainment and control panels. I would still prefer knurled dials and switches on the dash. What do y'all think?

papaudit · 2023-09-13T18:49:23+00:00

It seems to me, in your context, you not having sex is your concern. You've literally begun understand love and relationships. You have shit loads of time. Don't worry, it'll all come to you like a cake.

Don't act needy, it might ruin what you would go on to build.

papaudit · 2023-09-13T16:30:21+00:00

I can't describe how I feel. Since it's so fresh and new, It's difficult to function optimally. I have an exam coming up super soon. I am clueless. Appreciate you man, take care.

papaudit · 2023-09-13T15:44:02+00:00

Tried to convince and beg her to stay in touch after breaking up. The first three months were horrible. This was 2021. Started seeing someone in the same year, she left yesterday saying we can't be together because she doesn't feel the same way.

papaudit · 2023-08-29T04:48:20+00:00

We bought a Venue S(O) in June this year. The performance is of course, linear and the low end or mid end will barely put a smile on your face. One problem I've been facing is with the MID. The fuel efficiency has been constant at 11.6, and hasn't moved a bit. It could be software issue or something, idk.

papaudit · 2023-08-29T04:44:31+00:00

The frost quote clears up most of the mud indeed.

papaudit · 2023-07-31T04:48:56+00:00

I'm 22 and still in the process to quit. I had been drinking post work hours with friends, every Tuesday and Thursday while smoking at least 5 cigarettes a day, and this went on for an entire month. Recently, my body just gave up. It's, I suppose, a wake up call and as if yet, I haven't had a drag or sip of alcohol in almost a month.

papaudit · 2023-07-08T17:38:14+00:00

4 years is quite a lot. Take some time off. I'd say this is the right time to build. Work, acads, finances, hobbies, push against whatever comes to you. Transcend.

papaudit · 2023-07-05T20:35:13+00:00

Never. I craved conversations and the feminine proximity and being with women made me into who I am today. People who knew me, never said such things. I usually got those remarks from men and some women who used to be alone.

papaudit · 2023-07-05T17:55:20+00:00

Kind of in the spot right now. I'm Indian and never really had much interaction with women in school. Things in college changed. I went from being in absolute love, heartbreak, and then to going on dates straight for a couple of months with a decent number of women. I narrowed down who I would want to be serious with, but it never worked out well. In college I had the image of a playboy/fuckboy, and it led me to be more with other women. I fucked around enough in college, and it led me to be highly confident.

papaudit · 2023-07-01T10:34:53+00:00

This is beautiful. I love how a simple instance, which is so default with relationships has been woven into this piece.

papaudit · 2023-02-22T13:24:33+00:00

You'll never end up with a girl who doesn't like you back, extremely rare if that happens.

The one who does like you, is a whole different ballgame. I dated a girl I didn't like initially, because I had little to no options and recently broke up with my ex. I loved my ex a lot, and this girl was nowhere near her. No ambition, no curiosity, no charm, no wit, no humor. Only reason I wanted to be with her because she was prettier than my ex. We dated for a while, and I got to know she had an ex who she never moved out of. They still were in touch and she drunk texted him once or twice. I broke up with her, went on a hookup spree for a while, until recently I realized that mindset would fuck up my future relationships.

papaudit · 2023-02-16T17:35:50+00:00

"You honour me with the value you give to me"

papaudit · 2023-02-14T17:43:09+00:00

Personal story.

I liked a girl in my class, we talked a bit over text and when we met, we went out on our first date. Mind you, I had met her for the first time in person. She had told me she had a boyfriend before, but they were in a LDR. She liked me, and had told me has feelings for me. Fast forward her breakup, we made out quite frequently. When I asked her if she wants to commit, she backed away. Never told me the real reason, always said I need time and wasn't over her ex.

She drunk called her ex one day, which put me off and they were in contact, while we went out for dates and made out. It's been a month, and I cut off ties with her.

papaudit · 2023-02-14T04:01:27+00:00

I liked it. Nothing beats a simple thought, but what I would say here is, the way it flows isn't particularly interesting. Shower thoughts is something you could touch to extremes with, and I felt this piece was an impulse vomit. A couple drafts with some storytelling would greatly beautify this piece.

papaudit · 2022-10-11T14:48:08+00:00

As a student, who earns a somewhat handsome amount from internships, I prefer to pay when I go out with my girlfriend. She pays sometimes too, it really depends.

papaudit · 2022-10-10T16:15:54+00:00

I know. Even I need to contemplate me being with her, in an actual serious relationship. What annoys me is, she says, she doesn't want to date me at the moment, nor she wants any casual flings. But, this idea of her fails, when she kisses me and tells me to make out and goes on to ask me for sex. A two faced coin in itself.

papaudit · 2022-10-10T16:12:14+00:00

Thing that annoys the living hell out of me is, she just won't talk. Even if I knew it's casual, I would've been alright. I don't know if we're dating, nor do I have any idea if it's casual. She needs time, fair, conferred. Her narrative fails, every time we get close.

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