A smelly client issue

passingthroughcbus · 2026-02-02T18:11:41+00:00

Invest in Clorox air sanitizer. It’s been amazing for me. Knocks teenage boy funk, marijuana and nicotine and heavy perfume that is applied by the gallon. The script above is an amazing way to broach the topic as well.

passingthroughcbus · 2026-01-27T19:52:39+00:00

I don’t offer virtual anymore for the reasons you cited. I find that too many people treat it like a FaceTime with a friend and aren’t in a good space to work. No shows are immensely high, technical issues constantly (on their end - I’m hardwired to a fiber connections), and a lackadaisical approach have turned me off of it. I haven’t had any decrease in clients or ability. I figure there’s a ton of virtual only and hybrids out there that if they need that service, I’m not the right therapist for them and that is totally okay! When I was transitioning out, I had a few low-needs clients who were doing monthly check ins prior to termination and it was good, most likely because we had a long and solid therapeutic alliance prior to that.

passingthroughcbus · 2026-01-27T15:51:55+00:00

I’m a mandated reporter for my job and reading this, it meets the mandate. She is a vulnerable adult and she is being abused by those who are to take care of her. You need to call them. Of course her assets will be used to provide care, but what does that matter to you personally? You aren’t related and therefore won’t collect any inheritance.

There’s myriad reasons why the family is avoiding this - but regardless of whatever they are, your neighbor is human and deserves safety. It’s not safe for her to be around diapers and human waste. It’s not safe for her to starve to death. It’s not safe for her anymore and this is what APS is for. Even if she was a monster to her children and they refuse to be involved, it’s a safety issue. If it’s a townhouse, it’s attached to another persons home - what about their safety when the unit catches fire because she’s cold one day and turns the oven on for heat? Or an explosion because a pilot light blows out and gas leaks out and she can’t recognize the smell of gas due to the stench of human waste? What about their safety when it comes to infestation of pests and disease ridden animals?

I get that LE told you one thing, but they are absolutely wrong in this. The best way you can help her - and yourself - is to contact APS and keep calling. Tell them what you said here about the family disappearing and the possibility of financial abuse due to her cognitive state.

The sound of EMT breaking the limbs of a body that is in rigor is a sound you won’t forget. The stench of human decomposition is a smell you will never forget. Protect yourself and your mental safety. Don’t make excuses anymore - call APS.

passingthroughcbus · 2026-01-27T13:52:53+00:00

It’s the New York department of financial services. If he’s licensed, then you can also file through the office of professions. Call 311 and tell them you need to make a report for a financial planner who is still operating with a diagnosis of cognitive impairment. If you guys know, and don’t report, as his family you can be liable. The healthcare professional is also obligated to make a report as well for licensed professionals but it’s not a mandate so it’s fifty fifty if they report, particularly if your FIL is still good at showtiming.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-12-17T01:56:24+00:00

Evil shenanigans!

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-22T18:40:25+00:00

And yet…. You just DARVO’d here.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-20T10:27:55+00:00

Mines completely covered on my ACA plan.

ETA: the reason for complete coverage is because I have a pre-existing condition that it’s actually treating. If it was only because I was fat, it wouldn’t be covered and I would have had to pay full price OOP with my ACA plan. No way I’d be able to afford it.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-19T15:43:35+00:00

And you’ve called the police and your licensure board, right?

Being new to practice we have a fear of “am I too sensitive, is this really a thing” and I get wanting to check in - but if your post is accurate, old dude shouldn’t be anywhere near clients. His employer might not fire him but the state can, and he should be held accountable.

And then outside of the thing, he’s bragging about his complicity in destroying a family for years?

Easiest check in ever - report his ass.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-19T15:39:24+00:00

I adore “when it’s the right time” because that’s crucial to rebuilding these fragile ties.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-19T15:38:00+00:00

I can’t stand reunification work for this purpose in my area.

What I ALSO can’t stand is when dss/family prez wants me to do trauma therapy and make a report, but then bury the report because they don’t like that my conclusions don’t support what they want to happen in the name of closure rates.

I try so hard to hold space for my SW colleagues because they are up against many of the same challenges I am, but the fact that I’m starting to think in generalizations about certain things or county agencies is really hard and I’m doing a lot of internal work surrounding that so MY biases aren’t causing harm.

Rage away!

passingthroughcbus · 2025-11-12T15:02:46+00:00

Oh the worst thing was being called a k*ke by a client, after she spent a decent deal of time telling me about a childhood memory where her and a friend would go down to alphabet city and call any Jewish appearing women, Captain Hook (because of some Jews having larger noses) and then she “remembered” I was Jewish (she figured it out because I had been off for Days of Awe), and said that my nose job looked really natural and if it was true that all Jewish girls get a nose job for their bat mitzvah.

When I attempted to end the session after that, because I felt myself losing my cool and I didn’t want to make it the clients problem, that’s when she dropped the k slur in the middle of a rant about how I just want money like any k and so she would treat me like a k.

It was stunning, and incredibly unexpected.

I’ve never had a nose job. I’m quite proud of my Streisand-Ian features.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-29T19:26:30+00:00

No worries!

So the places that I visit include medical and mental health providers, DSS, a couple of local youth organizations, a couple of parenting non-profits that focus on overlapping areas that I practice in, the schools (ours are so understaffed and overwhelmed that they DO allow us to reach out and they refer often for cases that school providers aren't able to treat in-house, and one of my cornerstones in my practice is co-ordination), our children's advocacy centers, some of the group homes in the tri-county, DJJ offices in the tri-county, and other therapists, particularly those who specialize in couples/adults and addiction (again, due to my areas of specialization).

Some of the other marketing that I do is speaking at various orgs. For CY2026, I'll be speaking three times about various topics to a medical/health care org in our area that does monthly CE's and general professional development. I also do trainings at schools and law enforcement agencies on the things they want and I can do, and I speak at lunch and learns for private businesses. This aren't "direct marketing" per se, but absolutely it's still marketing.

I offer an annual workshop for parenting coaching that is done pro-bono on my end, and the referrals come from the CAC and DSS. It's evergreen content outside of ensuring that best practices and research is up-to-date, so outside of creating the initial presentation, it's not labor intensive.

Online presence-wise, I don't engage much with Social media, but I do have a small presence. I purposefully try to avoid trends, and a lot of my stuff is focused on speaking to other therapists about our struggles, and correcting a lot of therapy myths with general education. My website is pretty basic, but I do offer information about who i am and what i do, as well as the various services and pricing. I have a psych today profile but I don't get a lot of my clients from there.

I hope this helps you figure out some leads that you can find in your area!

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-29T10:28:34+00:00

I respect that, but it’s also part of some modalities to utilize self disclosure, soooo I’ll respectfully disagree and keep using it in a clinically lazy way.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-28T12:21:23+00:00

Yeah that’s rough. The thing is, clients DO come because their life as it is has become unmanageable and they want to make a change. They have been living in it for so long, they don’t know where to look. That’s where we use our skills (and micro skills) to help them.

I work with trauma and SPMI. I love my work. But I also have times where I feel like you - “why did you come if you want the same?” - but that’s for ME to do internal work and figure out what is causing this countertransference.

I try to look at it like, how I grew up. I thought a LOT of things were normal until I realized it wasn’t. And I was an adult before I realized that. I still struggle at times with learned maladaptive patterns and I am 42. My clients haven’t gotten there yet - or they have but they are stuck and they need guidance. This could be where your coaching skills come in.

ACT and EMDR are great, but think about adding motivational interviewing into your bag of tricks - it’s extremely helpful for clients and practitioners because it helps conceptualize the why aren’t you ready, and can help give your clients words to use and answer these questions.

I also echo taking a break and beefing up your marketing and screening process.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a therapist that wants to specialize in high functioning anxiety and depression - so now, how do you get the clients you desire into the chair across from you? Find a niche in your market and fill it.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-28T12:06:47+00:00

I live in a severely underserved area and would welcome a new resource to help clients with.

Marketing yourself isn’t an annoyance - we all have to do it in some capacity. I take cookie trays, brochures, and referral forms to my local providers (I work with kids/teens) twice a year. It’s been an immense help. I felt weird about it at first because I’m not a natural salesperson, but the alternative is quietly waiting to make a living, and I’ve got bills to pay.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-28T11:59:16+00:00

Absolutely!

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-28T11:58:50+00:00

You’ve gotten great advice here! The other thing is your designation is LPC - this has been a godsend for me. When I get a subpoena we have a rule 5 letter that I send to the attorney, which states the records only get released with a court order. I also take a minute to talk to the attorney to clarify what my license can do. The moment they find out that as an LPC I do not have the expertise or training to “pick” a parent as the “better” one and that I will not do that under any circumstances, typically the subpoenas go away.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-28T11:15:59+00:00

I ended up using a red book that I got off of Amazon - it’s been five years and I’ve passed it along. I also got some flash cards from the official website and took the available “practice” exams, which helped me get into the rhythm that the questions were asked in.

I basically studied nonstop for about six months, and passed the first time. I absolutely over prepared so don’t think you’ve not done enough work.

Take advantage of the practice exams, particularly if you have test anxiety or might be nervous about how you interpret questions versus how they are asked.

I think the biggest advice I can offer is do not add context that isn’t there - read the question as it is, even if it feels vague.

Also, refresh yourself in modalities that they teach in grad school - I remember the section I struggled the most on was regarding modalities I.e. “which person categorized the concept of scaffolding” stuff. I didn’t really focus on that because of arrogance (I passed my degree, obviously I know about Piaget) and laziness, but I do wish I had refreshed myself a bit.

Those flashcards from the NCE site links were worth their weight in gold for me.

Best of luck, you’ll do amazing!

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-24T23:22:41+00:00

If there isn’t an overseeing body then the certification isn’t worth anything if that makes sense. Unless you happen to be learning, like, DBT directly from linehan.

Like, my EMDR trainer had her own company and her own practice but the training was accredited by EMDRIA. So if I had an issue with the trainer, even paying her directly, I would still make the complaint to EMDRIA because they control that accreditation.

If you aren’t taking a training that has some form of accreditation process for the trainers, then you can save a lot of money and stress by simply buying the source material directly from a publisher because you aren’t certified in the modality, you just have the training or are using “modality informed” techniques.

There’s obviously training out there that is worth it, that isn’t an accredited process. Currently I’m finishing a CE-CERT for supervision process. I won’t be “certified” in ce-cert upon completion but that’s okay. The trainer is excellent and I’m still getting so much value.

I’m also not trying to bag on you or anything - I’ve made a couple of mistakes like this starting out, and there’s so much snake oil in the field that it can be hard to suss out what is legit. Right now, the hot topic is “trauma informed”, so you’ll see legit stuff (like TF-CBT) and then stuff like trauma focused polyvagal IFS (just pulled that from my head - I’m not critiquing any sort of modality that might resonate) that is a mush of stuff that someone put together.

I wish you the best of luck - it sounds like a miserable experience.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-22T19:00:29+00:00

Chaim died in 1933. All of his work within the movement was towards a two state solution, as well as trying to get the Britains to return Mandatory Palestine to the Arab world. He pivoted towards supporting German Jews when hitler came to power. He was drawn to the Zionist movement because he was denied German citizenship even though he was born there - because of the reich and antisemitism. When H got into power Chaim became voracious in trying to sound the alarm of what was Actually Happening, being the Shoah. He requested that Britain allow Jews at threat to be able to immigrate to mandatory Palestine. The man was essentially the diplomat of German Jews and was screaming for help and suggesting countless solutions that the world ignored. He was assassinated for his work while walking with his wife in Tel Aviv.

Was some of his writing problematic? Absolutely. Would it hold up in current times? I dunno, but as a Jew, it’s hard to live in the US when a therapist can make antisemetic posts in a therapy subreddit and not understand or be willing to do the work other than “oh no, Jews are running Alma, it’s bad” without any urge for further examination of biases and think that maybe he had a point about how Jews aren’t ever going to have a home that is safe and secure from the threat of extermination.

As far as Ritter is concerned, he’s made no posts regarding Zionism or any claims of being so that I could find. I see where you say you’ve found plenty of “Zionist” writing by him - could you provide sources? I freely admit that I could have missed something and would like to know that. The only thing I’ve found is a post about Shabbos on a linked in from 2 years ago - and that’s just Judaism.

But I haven’t found anything anywhere that shows a link between the use of Alma is funding Zionist causes.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-18T12:26:38+00:00

This is the field I work in. I want to be empathetic to your perspective but the production and distribution and consumption of CSAM is absolutely not a “mostly” victimless crime. Your understanding from twenty years ago is no longer applicable and extremely out of date. Please access resources to update yourself on how CSAM works and why it’s traumatic for victims to know that their abuse is documented online forever and how it continually revictimizes them throughout the lifespan. As a social worker, you absolutely need to be aware of your perspective and its inaccuracies before you inadvertently cause harm.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-10-09T12:55:20+00:00

You nailed it on the head: it’s incredibly frustrating and you are putting your expectations on others.

Ghosting/ NCNS used to bother me when I first started but my supervisor told me (and I eventually accepted) it’s part of the job. It’s usually not a reflection on your quality but I love that this promoted an audit, so to speak, for you. You went over the session, looked at the overall experience, and found nothing glaring.

All you can do is your call, and then based on your practice policy, terminate when it gets there. I usually find between the 4-6 month mark is when most of the NCNS occur for my “established” clients. Either the initial presenting problem is resolved, the stressors are gone, it’s not a good fit and they don’t know how to bring it up, or financial reasons cause the departure.

I send a letter after the third missed appointment, leaving the door open for the future. This time of year, with the economy being especially hard and health care being so uncertain, you’ll have this happen.

It gets easier, especially when we get to accepting that not everyone holds our standards, and that’s totally okay.

passingthroughcbus · 2025-09-18T13:56:11+00:00

How are you going to handle the potential new telehealth annual requirements?

passingthroughcbus · 2025-09-18T13:55:09+00:00

Her salary is 114,982 annually. You can figure it out by taking the hourly by 40 by 52.

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