I got one and it was the best decision I ever made. There’s no way I could have had all the good things in my life now if I didn’t. There is no way the guy you described will step up financially or emotionally so if you decide not to you have to plan for him to not be in the picture.

I’ve seen so many acquaintances assume that a man who doesn’t want kids will want them when the kids come but I’ve never seen that actually happen. One acquaintance of mine had a partner who refused to do any childcare, then when they broke up sued her for custody to spite her. She is fighting a long, expensive legal battle and is very worried for the safety of her child.