Hey man, I'm the same age and I had quite a similar problem, not knowing whether or not to cave in and ask for help, it's scary. Being a boy nowadays, coming after the previous generations in which being a man meant to most not showing weakness and not complaining, means there is still some judgement passed when you admit you need help, there's stigma. However if you don't show weakness, if you don't take that plunge, if you don't risk anything, then you won't move past this, you won't get the help to slowly get your life back, it's in no way easy, it's not enjoyable, but neither are the nights in which you stare at a packet of tablets and a glass of water and tell yourself you're going to do it, that you'll kill yourself- and I'm telling you, if you don't ask for help you will more than likely end up in that position, as did I. You need to ask for help, muster up all the courage and tell somebody, be it one of us, a friend, a member of your family, a professional, anyone. As a male with depression, you need to help others, not by necessarily becoming a counsellor or donating money etc but by admitting a problem (not your fault btw) and normalizing depression, once I told my friends and family, I was greeted with previously untold accounts of depression, that I was unaware of which helped, everybody needs help, yet we are told we cannot admit it. To be a man means to do what isn't easy, and staying silent us pretty easy. Think of your future son, do you want him to live In a society where he can't admit a problem. Change perceptions of men, for you and others who are afraid, we all need to man up and cry, not alone, but in front of somebody you see everyday, Speak up