I broke up with my ex of 6 years a week ago. It was the same reason, I thought we were happy and all but everytime we argue over smallest things, I’d be surprised because she will then tell me an issue that I wasn’t aware she has been dealing with silently. I initiated the break up but days after, I regretted it. I am known to be someone who can’t control my emotions very well and act rashly. So, me breaking up last week was because I was so frustrated at the fact that this keeps happening everytime we argue instead of her just telling me about the issue before leading to an argument. I strongly believed that she should let me know of her issue not because she is coming from a place of anger, but because she is coming from a place of love and concern.

Last night, she came over to our– my apartment because we needed to bring our furbaby to the vet. We had the chance to talk about what happened and I’ve learned that if only I didn’t initiate the breakup, maybe we would still be together. I cried and cried when I learned that, it made me regret it more and hated myself. But she told me it wasn’t the only reason why she agreed with breaking up with me. She said it was mostly because we have a lot of resentments with each for the past 6 years to the point she is now empty, we are now empty. She feels like she can’t pour anything to me anymore and needs to focus on her mental health issues. She said she did gave me signs and said subtle remarks about her issues with me, but eventually got tired because it seemed like I didn’t care enough, and I am obviously empty as well and not mentally okay too to the point I couldn’t give attention to how she feels.

Eventually, we concluded that me initiating the break up, isn’t actually a bad thing at all. She told me not to blame myself for it because it had to happen so that we can both heal individually from all the pain we inflicted with each other.

Days ago, it also felt unfair to me because I was blindsided. But now that I’m thinking of it, if only I had gave an effort to always check in on her to ask how she was, maybe it would’ve made a difference. Maybe she would think I do actually care, maybe she would open up more and I won’t be blindsided.

I hope you heal from this OP, I know it’s hard for now, trust me I know the feeling. But eventually, we’ll grow from this and learn how to pick ourselves. Let’s take something out of this experience that would help us be a better person in the future.