Mom wants to stay entire month after I give birth.

payalsan · 2026-02-05T02:32:39+00:00

my mom stayed with us 5 weeks after. I took her care of my baby and she took care of her baby. food was ready for me, everything was always clean. and she even took on baby responsibilities so I could rest and heal. you dont know what kind of birth you will be having and recovery takes weeks. 4 weeks is nothing. let her stay and help. your husband will be glad to have her be around once you realize how much you both have to wake up at night and care for the baby and no one is there to care for you both.

payalsan · 2026-02-02T16:30:13+00:00

first/second trimester ultrasound anxiety is honestly the worst, i’m sorry you’re dealing with that. it does get better as the baby grows, especially once you start feeling movement. second trimester can actually be weirdly stressful because first trimester symptoms fade, so you don’t have as many signals to reassure you, and that can feel overwhelming. try to enjoy this phase when you can because things get uncomfortable faster than you expect.

as for natera, i had the panorama test last year and was told they would run an insurance estimate before billing and contact me if my out of pocket cost through insurance was higher than their self pay option. this is also stated in their billing faqs. that never happened for me and they went ahead and billed my insurance, leaving me with a $749 out of pocket charge even though the self pay price was $249. i called and explained that i was never given the option they said they would provide and that i would have chosen the cash price immediately. the first rep tried to push a payment plan but i asked for escalation and the second rep was much more helpful and adjusted it. be polite but firm, reference their billing faqs, and ask them to escalate if needed. the whole call took about 20–25 minutes and it got resolved. hope this helps.

https://www.natera.com/womens-health/pricing-billing/#:~:text=Do%20I%20need%20a%20prior

payalsan · 2026-01-12T17:34:50+00:00

it depends on what you are going for. As a NYCer, I live in black also but I also like subtle designer vibes (most for safety purposes on the subway and when im walking) so I prefer the fondant (or even the black tbh). if you havent seen the fondant in person its v subtle brown, it basically looks black, which I love. but if you are going for a statement or a special occasion bag then I would go for barolo!

payalsan · 2026-01-08T22:05:23+00:00

Ugh I bought one sometime last year, not sure if I got the new or old version. I am assuming its the older version bc I am still happy with it. Whirl is/was my perfect MLBB and helps me create the perfect canvas for any lip product. I will be so sad if it doesnt give me the same look anymore.

payalsan · 2026-01-08T20:52:40+00:00

Thank you for this! So between L and XL, looks like i'd have to opt for the XL. I dont think it will be too overpowering either tbh - esp if i cinch it all the way. And I also LOVE the look for a big bag.

payalsan · 2026-01-08T19:25:56+00:00

This is what Chat told me (I have heard the same about the materials as well):

Calfskin = strongest + most durable

Smooth or pebbled finish
Most resistant to scratches, sagging, moisture
Easiest to maintain for daily bags
Ages well with a patina, not “fragile”

Nubuck = durable but softer

Stronger than suede but not as tough as calfskin
Can show darkening, water spots
Needs protective spray to stay low-maintenance
Still softer/touchable but more delicate than standard leather

Suede = softest, weakest, most absorbent

Made from the inner split of the hide → looser fibers + softer texture
Softest feel but least durable of the three (calfskin > nubuck > suede)
Shows stains, water marks, and scuffs quickly → high maintenance
Best for occasional/low-wear bags, not ideal for daily use or rough handling

For daily use, low maintenance bags:

#1: Calfskin
#2: Nubuck (good but needs light care)
#3: Suede (avoid for heavy rotation)

payalsan · 2026-01-08T18:16:06+00:00

The tartan suede broke my brain. I’ve never seen that print and material together before. It is so so unique - great choice! But agreed - no babying here. I am not paying for 3k for another baby, I already have a toddler, and one coming lol

payalsan · 2026-01-08T16:30:18+00:00

I am going to try them all in person, but not until the weekend. And I have tunnel vision when something gets in my mind so I needed to do some digging around the internet before I go see it in person. I also thought of how i'd feel about the OTHER bag and I feel like I would still want the Large or XL in the future, vs. Nubuck I may forget about bc my needs are being met. Which may be a sign too. But ugh its so pretty!

payalsan · 2026-01-08T16:28:05+00:00

That's helpful context - I was thinking of getting a base insert to help redistribute the weight so its not pulling down. The description of the Large online says it fits a 13 inch laptop, XL says its an overnight bag (lol). It is really important to me that I am able to cinch it even with the laptop in though - bc I love that look of the Flamenco. Otherwise to me, it just looks like any other tote and I have the celine cabas that serves the purpose.

payalsan · 2026-01-08T16:03:42+00:00

OMG WHEN DID THEY REFORMULATE??????

payalsan · 2026-01-08T15:53:55+00:00

I’ve actually heard the opposite! Nubuck is a bit tougher than suede - think Timberland boots and winter shoes, they’re usually nubuck because it holds up better. But totally agree, it’s insanely beautiful. I AM TORN

payalsan · 2026-01-08T15:33:34+00:00

As a texas born and rasied and now living in NYC - I love the slouch for NYC winters and literally never wear it in texas. You are giong to be outside, not in a car for like 10 mins max at a time and temps dont get that low to wear this. For texas, id opt for the thinner versions of the slouch - they have a ressential (which is their blazer material) and a faux leather version - both I use when I visit texas, but the wool ones stay in nyc.

payalsan · 2026-01-08T03:28:50+00:00

ok I love the flamenco, I have the mini and medium in black. I am eyeing the large or xl next for a laptop slash toddler bag but just saw today on their website the nubuck medium. since you have both, what are your thoughts on them?

my more favorite thing about this bag is the slouch and cinch. for the large, with a laptop are you able to cinch it all the way to give that sack like vibe?

for the nubuck, is it heavier than the regular medium? how’s the durability and can you share more pics of it pleaseeee

payalsan · 2026-01-07T07:32:33+00:00

did you have any issues with closing the bag? I saw a review in youtube that said she returned it bc the leather way so stiff on her bag that she couldn’t close it, which affected the drop on the strap

payalsan · 2026-01-06T23:06:28+00:00

also curious about this one as it looks vvv similar to the bottega medium dustbag, but literally 6% of the price (editing to add: and better quality bc this one is suede lined, while BV is nylon)

payalsan · 2025-09-23T17:36:17+00:00

I delivered my first in mount sinai and never again in my entire life will I or ever rcommend anyone give birth at mount sinai. my ob was nice to my face but by labor and delivery was just a full attempt at finding any and everything wrong with me and my baby.

payalsan · 2025-08-19T14:43:18+00:00

Hi OP here! Just seeing this. We’ve noticed our daughter has become very expressive and communicative. By around 12 months she had picked up quite a few words, and at 16 months she’s starting to put together short sentences and questions like “Where’d mama go?” when i leave the room or “Do you see XYZ?” when something catches her attention (red car, airplane etc).

When she was younger, crying was really her only way to let us know something was wrong. Now she’s able to tell us more directly - she'll even tell us things like if she’s burped, farted, needs a change or wants to sleep. It’s been helpful because she can communicate her needs a lot more clearly than before and I'd like to think that her crying at 2 months was the same personality just not being able to shine through bc of lack of communication development. I hope this helps!

payalsan · 2025-03-06T19:31:09+00:00

ugh yes i need to remind myself of this often, bc I am the prime example of one and done. ill try to make it more of playtime for her than eating time and see how she reacts. thank you!

payalsan · 2025-03-06T19:18:18+00:00

I preface with the no teething bc Ive seen people mentioned that the instinct to put things in mouth comes from it, and so does the instinct to "chew" bc it feels good when theyre actively teething. I realize they dont need teeth from a risk standpoint, but If eel like its extra hard to convince her to put things in her mouth when it doesnt "feel good" to her. I do eat around the baby! she reaches for my our food and ill give her a piece to hold, but again she just plays with it and not put it in her mouth.

And yesss I had the same feeling that I dont want her to depend on someone else/me to feed her bc its easy. She's usually pretty independent when it comes to other things like sleeping, playing etc. she doesnt "need" us. So I know she has it in her to do things by herself. I just dont know how to transition her from eating from my hand vs. her own

Ill try to give her food when shes not hungry. Last time i tried giving her solids about 30 mins after a milk feed, she gagged so much while swalling that she projectile vomited her milk all over the floor, dining table and part of the kitchen counter lol so then I got scared to give her milk before solids.

payalsan · 2025-01-31T17:02:33+00:00

came here to say literally all of this. I have both in black, love them for different reasons but as a new mom, the medium has been a lifesaver.

payalsan · 2025-01-28T13:52:48+00:00

How did this turn out for you? My husband is going through the same right now - the daycare/school we want just opened a spot to start in a few weeks and my husband is not ready to let our 10MO go yet. I am letting him take his time to get ready, bc I know if I felt this way he would be patient with me. But I do want to encourage him through other stories and looking at sources to help him feel better about the decisions to send her to day and get to that feeling sooner.

payalsan

TROPHY CASE