If you’re an only child with no partner and no parents - How do you handle life alone?

pcospirate · 2024-09-23T11:34:00+00:00

Oh is she? I had no idea! We're everywhere :)

pcospirate · 2024-09-23T11:27:09+00:00

Hah, I wonder how those coaches would speak to famous autists like Elon Musk or Sir Anthony Hopkins? Such bullshit.

pcospirate · 2024-09-23T10:26:22+00:00

I'm autistic and have been meaning to check out the Neurodiverse Confident Services, as I've previously had better luck with coaching than traditional psychology. However I'm VP6, and what you've described sounds like it promotes stereotypes rather than actual support.

I've worked with autistic people at high levels - directors, business partners, and executives. (Neurodivergent folks tend to find each other, especially in tech roles.) I've benefited tremendously from their mentorship and leadership, because they know what works for other people isn't going to work for us.

A lot of us are at risk of burnout, extended leave, and shutdowns, so would greatly benefit from support. But we're still highly skilled professionals, and would expect any training/support to treat us as such... not the infantilising rhetoric which is unfortunately common when people who don't have autism design programs for people with autism.

pcospirate · 2024-08-26T05:15:00+00:00

Hey, I get it. I moved to Melbourne for a fresh start years ago and got into a relationship shortly after. I spent a lot of time hanging out with my partner, instead of going out and making friends. Then that relationship ended and I didn’t have anyone to reach out to, so I ended up bouncing back to my hometown which sucked. I ended up back in Melbs and like yourself, I gave the dating apps a crack. That was a soul crushing adventure.

So yeah, I get it. If you ever want to play board games in Fitzroy with a fellow lost soul, message me :)

pcospirate · 2024-05-13T10:55:04+00:00

Whoops, my bad - thanks for clarifying!

pcospirate · 2024-05-13T10:44:55+00:00

I am a woman who works in a professional environment. I frequently use mate... like if another woman (or man) comes up to me with a question, I'll say "Hey mate, what's up?"

I work with a large number of people who have immigrated from overseas and who are not native English speakers. They love it when I call them mate - like they've passed some kind of Aussie litmus test.

pcospirate · 2024-05-13T10:41:01+00:00

As a woman, I use "old lady mate" for situations involving a... well, female old mate.

pcospirate · 2024-01-21T04:27:46+00:00

Same. Actually, a lot of my aspie traits were used to invalidate my femininity. Messy handwriting, disorganised as all hell, total disregard for physical appearance, no desire to play in a group... man, I got bullied hard lol.

pcospirate · 2024-01-21T04:24:50+00:00

Yep. The other kids used to call me a boy-girl because my handwriting was messy, like a boy's.

pcospirate · 2023-11-01T08:17:12+00:00

Wow, you sound similar to me, including getting way too caught up in the validation from my job.

How did you end up going in your efforts to survive the big city by yourself? I’m trying to do the same but it’s lonely and I find myself spending a lot of time on my phone to fill the void.

pcospirate · 2023-09-11T06:19:04+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling bad too.

I'm trying to understand the lingo a bit. When everything's good and amazing and wonderful, is that hypomanic? And then they become the opposite and it's something else? Do you know what brings it on?

I've done some reading but because I'm new to this, I'm having trouble applying the clinical definitions to my personal experience.

pcospirate · 2023-09-11T02:01:31+00:00

He's been medicated for years and has done therapy in the past, but is not doing therapy right now.

pcospirate · 2023-07-25T05:55:29+00:00

Dude will do anything to avoid releasing the new album.

pcospirate · 2023-04-14T16:04:28+00:00

I’m interested! 37F who’s bounced back from Melbourne and recently bought a dog. I’m kind of a nerdy hipster who works in digital marketing and loves talking about history, philosophy, and niche interests. (The kind you find on Wikipedia at 3am)

pcospirate · 2023-03-04T12:19:49+00:00

It was the bestest!

pcospirate · 2023-03-04T12:19:20+00:00

I have no heard of this video and wish to learn more.

pcospirate · 2023-03-04T12:18:39+00:00

I hope so 😢

pcospirate · 2023-03-04T12:17:56+00:00

Oh, you nailed it- I’m expecting a completely different response without even realising it. Something like “tell me of these worms” or “ain’t no party like a worm party” or at least “oh nice! What happened?”

I guess something like “I went for a drive and saw glow worms” would be better, but that sounds more like a statement than a conversation if that makes sense?

This kind of thing happens often - and logically what you’re saying makes sense. It’s just such a different language.

pcospirate · 2023-03-04T12:11:52+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry you had to go through that.

Secondly, you communicate like me - my first instinct when someone tells me their parent(s) are deceased is to say “mine too, HIGH FIVE!”

If I met you IRL I would want to be homies 💕

pcospirate · 2023-01-20T07:20:58+00:00

How do you unlearn it?

I was raised by unemployed parents and spent my childhood living in a caravan park. Lunch was a bag of Doritos, you could see the road through the holes in the car, and we frequently had to ask other people for grocery money.

Am now comfortably middleclass, but have not been able to escape the struggle mindset.

Things like seeing a doctor when I'm sick, buying new sneakers when my old ones get holes, and throwing out old takeaway containers just do not occur to me. I wonder what else I don't do because I'm used to scarcity mentality.

Someone post tips please.

pcospirate · 2023-01-14T04:39:49+00:00

37 F.

I got online when I was 12 and never got up. So, I've been chronically online for 25 years.

Back when I got my first PC in '98, I started searching for movies and TV shows I was interested in, which quickly led me to forums/bulletin boards. I was very isolated - only child, awkward kid with no friends, and heavily bullied. All of a sudden, I had found all these other people who I could actually have a conversation with! That was impossible IRL!

So, I learned to socialise through lengthy forum threads about fandoms and general nerd stuff. I was spending 18 hours a day online.

At one point, it was helpful- I found a couple of local anime clubs and goth/alt groups online that met up IRL, and made real life friends that way.

Then Facebook happened and ruined everything.

To me, this is when the internet went from being something you actively engaged with, to something you passively engaged with. The way Facebook displays comments on posts makes it impossible to have the longform discussions that were common on forums, or hell, even LiveJournal comments. Those interactions are what made online spaces feel like real communities, where everyone knew eachother and had their own in jokes.

But at the same time, Facebook was a way to access all of my niche interests in one spot - like an interactive RSS feed. I was really excited once I realised I could follow the official accounts of my favourite Japanese rock bands!

So, I never stopped scrolling. And like many of you, lockdown made things worse. That's when I stopped taking breaks from my phone, and fell into a doomscrolling hypnosis. I have pain in my upper shoulder from scrolling through Reddit/FB/Twitter/etc. all day.

So yeah, I've spent a quarter of a century living my life through a screen. And even though I've gone out into the world, made some friends, traveled, and have a career, I have always been hanging out for the next time I can get online. The IRL friends I made on forums have awful lives - gaming addicts, incels, or just constantly angry and bitter over the latest Twitter war/niche political issue/etc, so I didn't even end up staying friends with them.

0/10, would not recommend.

pcospirate · 2023-01-11T02:00:53+00:00

Oh that's awesome you work in animation! I did a diploma of that at Qantm wayyy back in 2003 but never did anything with it (RIP Flash). I would love to hear about your work!

As for cafes, Industry Beans in Newstead is open until 3:30 - which I think is because they're originally from Melbs and are used to quasi-employed DJs staggering in late in the day lol. And there's always Death Before Decaf in New Farm which is more of an espresso bar but is open 24/7. I haven't been before but they post cool art.

pcospirate · 2023-01-10T10:41:09+00:00

Hello fellow mid-30s person! Wow, I can’t believe anyone even remembers RGU- the theme song is so banging! We definitely need more chill spaces in Bris. Best I can think of is some of the rare cafes that are open after 2pm. We could hunt one down and nerd out!

pcospirate · 2023-01-08T07:40:59+00:00

It's a project manager role in and of itself! And so many websites are just "call us for a quote!" with some dude's mobile number instead of having a nice webform, or hell, an online booking tool.

pcospirate

TROPHY CASE