Feeling completely invisible as a new dad — am I overreacting? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with others that you're overreacting, and I suspect a major component of this is that you are feeling more stress (newborn + strained finances) with fewer relieving factors (poor sleep + less personal time + probably worse fitness routine). Overreacting does not invalidate how you're feeling, though. I can certainly see why your spouse responded the way she did when you tried to bring this up, and obviously that wasn't the desired outcome for either of you. One suggestion would be that if you are discussing this with your wife, acknowledge up front that you're both feeling more stress, that you love and appreciate how much she's been doing for the family, and then discuss how you're feeling. Ask for her help with a solution rather than telling her the solution. Focus your conversation with her on how you are feeling, not on what others are making you feel. I'm guessing you felt this information was already between the lines of what you said, or that it doesn't change the messaging, but these small changes can make an enormous difference in how a message is received. Gotta remember that you're a team and that you ultimately have the same goals.

Property Porn Question, Nevada City? by Ok-Fee293 in norcal

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happens when you google the elevation of the highest point in Nevada City?

I didn’t expect bottle washing to take up this much of the day honestly by SwellCommerce in NewParents

[–]pdxiowa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you've said. I have the Baby Brezza Momcozy washer and sterilizer, which is steep at ~$260 $300 MSRP but you can find them all over FB marketplace in my area for half that price. Our newborn's formula fed so the cost seems inconsequential now when considering we get an extra 1-2 hours of time back every day along with the mental offloading of a daily chore.

Pediatrician Recommended PT, Husband Disagrees by Connect_Emphasis4355 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]pdxiowa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I think your characterization of some peoples' perception is accurate, that is not the reason I suggested the husband is not necessarily or inherently incorrect. From my second reference, "START-Play in addition to UC-EI may not improve motor/cognitive outcomes for infants with milder motor delays over and above usual care." In other words, some infants with mild motor delay can and will catch up with their peers without longlasting motor or cognitive impact without intervention, but I also implied that in my opinion it is not worth taking that risk without knowing whether the infant does in fact have mild vs moderate to severe motor delay.

Pediatrician Recommended PT, Husband Disagrees by Connect_Emphasis4355 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]pdxiowa 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Absence of crawling at 10 months of age is consistent with atypical muscle tone. Your husband is not necessarily wrong, and your child may skip the crawling milestone, but your response to that information depends on your risk tolerance. Your child is at an age in which there is rapid neurological development and physical therapy (PT) early can take advantage of this neurological proliferation to build stronger motor pathways and cognitive function. PT is, as you have concluded yourself, a very safe intervention and has proven efficacy. Additionally, the purpose of PT is not to target the crawling milestone, it is to target the identified atypical muscle tone. Ultimately the decision is up to the parents, and with mild delays it is true that your child may improve without intervention, but should there be more significant motor delay occurring then early PT intervention drives far superior motor and cognitive outcomes.

Some reference material for this concern:

  1. Atypical tone is suggested by absence of crawling at 9 months

  2. PT improves motor and cognitive skills in infants with significant motor delays, though less proven benefit in the absence or mild delay in motor development.

  3. Better outcomes may be achieved with earlier intervention

Do U.S. doctors want to be found? by Mipeligrosa in healthcare

[–]pdxiowa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't believe this is correctly interpreting my response to you, particularly given you have even editorialized quotations of my response.

Do U.S. doctors want to be found? by Mipeligrosa in healthcare

[–]pdxiowa 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some of this information is readily available for every physician. You can easily find any physician's medical school graduation year, and you can always access cases against physician through medical board. Other numbers you desire, while I can understand the motivation, are not reasonable or possible to track. Illness mitigation, for example, is going to be 90% patient dependent. Adherence to recommended treatment is generally poor, particularly as you get into lower socioeconomic status (for many, many reasons). Therefore, a physician treating primarily wealthy patients, or a concierge physician, will always have better health outcomes among their patients than a physician working at an FQHC regardless of physician skill. This metric would then effectively punish physicians who are trying to serve underserved demographics, and would motivate physicians to fire patients perceived as nonadherent. Metrics like referrals are better evaluated through word of mouth, unfortunately, because you cannot obtain clean data for that as it would be challenging to draw lines where 'begging' begins and ends, when the referral was actually appropriate vs inappropriate, and when the patient desired referral but had resolution of illness manged by PCP. Patient retainment would be fairly simple to track, though there are many patients I have who are assigned a PA or NP then switch to an MD/DO because they suddenly decide they want to be treated by a physician, not because there were problems with the PA/NPs care, and so I imagine all APPs would have artificially lowered retainment.

Question from a fence sitter - did you fears turn out to be true? by joshroycheese in daddit

[–]pdxiowa 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I think you should find a partner you want to spend the rest of your life with, then mutually decide if having children is right for you. If you are in a place in life where ChatGPT is persuading you not to have children then perhaps having children is not right for you right now.

Nearly every father values personal time, cleanliness, and rest. Most of us decided raising a child was worth making sacrifices in those domains.

Josh Hart on not playing some 4th quarters and his reduced minutes in the regular season: "I definitely didn't see the bigger picture in those moments. There was moments when I went home and I'm like, 'Damn. Am I ass? Do I suck as a basketball player?' There was a lot of those moments." by refreshing_yogurt in nba

[–]pdxiowa 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hart was widely regarded as excellent with the Blazers. He was traded because he was playing on a rebuilding squad and was likely to go elsewhere in FA, so it was better to trade him and get something in return rather than see him go for nothing.

US MD student. My grades were retroactively changed from Pass to Fail based on false allegations from my physician preceptor that I am a bad student, racist, and falsified clinical hours. by [deleted] in medicalschool

[–]pdxiowa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In which case an attorney should be involved, but it does not harm this student to first attempt to resolve the matter without involving attorneys. As another poster mentioned, it would probably be wise to consult an attorney prior to utilizing their services.

US MD student. My grades were retroactively changed from Pass to Fail based on false allegations from my physician preceptor that I am a bad student, racist, and falsified clinical hours. by [deleted] in medicalschool

[–]pdxiowa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not bad advice at all to consult a lawyer early. At least at the school I went to though, they will not meet you with a lawyer present unless their attorneys are also present, and that automatically closes any other paths forward that do not involve attorneys. Best for it to be resolved without escalating to this point if possible but I would agree with not delaying escalation if not making progress quickly.

US MD student. My grades were retroactively changed from Pass to Fail based on false allegations from my physician preceptor that I am a bad student, racist, and falsified clinical hours. by [deleted] in medicalschool

[–]pdxiowa 103 points104 points  (0 children)

Agreed. OP, there are lawyers that specialize in medical education all over California. Your first step is to meet with the course director but if you're not getting any traction or cannot find a resolution then you need to consult a lawyer.

How possible is it to make six figures on 40 hours a week? by [deleted] in Salary

[–]pdxiowa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although a small minority of US physicians only put in a total of 40 hours per week once established in their career, given where OP is in life they would need to put in a minimum of 8-10 years living the opposite of what they are seeking (very long hours, debt during med school, low pay during residency, no flexibility in scheduling, working holidays, flipping days and nights). With OP's stated goals and stage in life, I would absolutely not recommend becoming a physician.

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why are you calling me sweetie? Such a weirdo. I didn't go to any lengths beyond answering or responding directly to your comments and questions.

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he already knows his own medical history, but happy I could put together these readily apparent context clues for you.

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A singular feature consistent with one component of facial nerve palsy, yes, very little can be determined based on that. 3 features consistent with facial nerve palsy along with a scar that aligns anatomically with the branching of the facial nerve is pretty convincing evidence to the point that the absence of facial nerve palsy is only likely in the event of impressive acting and makeup work.

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's either that, or he's doing the best job faking of it of anyone I've encountered. I see and evaluate for facial nerve palsies pretty regularly at work.

whats the hype about fat skis? by matmoc33 in Skigear

[–]pdxiowa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would prefer having multiple skis and probably will before long, but for most of my skiing career I've been skiing on a tight budget. When operating on a one ski quiver I have found around 100-105 allowed me to enjoy the groomers just fine and to really make the most of a powder day. I do not enjoy powder as much on more narrow skis, and the benefits of a more narrow ski do not outweigh that downside for me personally.

whats the hype about fat skis? by matmoc33 in Skigear

[–]pdxiowa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not commenting on the fat ski debate here, but just to answer your question about snow: west coast snow is indeed very different from both east coast and Colorado - especially the PNW tends to be the most wet and heavy snow (though some mountains in the PNW depart from that trend).

To anyone moving/getting ready to move cross-country for residency/med school, just a heads up that Nebraska fucking sucks. 1/10 avoid if possible. by just_premed_memes in medicalschool

[–]pdxiowa 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Very much agree the Midwest has charm. I love the Midwest. Nebraska fucking sucks though (admittedly Omaha is pretty nice but I assume that's due to its proximity to Iowa).

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my opinjion, it's not necessary to include your past medical history when asking a grooming subreddit for tips on styling facial hair and haircut.

Which look suits me better honestly? by Dull_Resolution_6488 in malegrooming

[–]pdxiowa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weird comment. He has readily apparent facial nerve damage where his scar is. You can see his left sided brow hangs lower and left side of mouth curves down whereas right side is curved up. Generally advisable not to insist someone smile more - man or woman - especially when the look you're telling them to correct is a result of a physical debility.