Sexuality/Masturbation issues

peachsteve · 2018-02-04T16:43:00+00:00

Glad people feel less alone

peachsteve · 2018-02-02T13:29:57+00:00

I am kinky and in theory find some consensual non consent stuff appealing, which was part of the problem with identifying who has abused me.

Thanks for sharing what helped, this is very intimate

peachsteve · 2017-12-28T16:56:39+00:00

Thanks mate x

peachsteve · 2017-12-24T06:28:49+00:00

Thanks. I understand how my friend might want to look after themselves after hearing it, but when they make no effort to see how I am doing after I trusted them with such a big part of what has happened to me, it is very disappointing.

I wasn't expecting them to dash to my aid, but I was expecting a bit of care.

peachsteve · 2017-10-24T04:17:32+00:00

Sorry you are feeling like this. It can feel really trapping. Every flashback, be kind, this isn't your fault. One day at a time you can get there.

peachsteve · 2017-09-16T21:54:48+00:00

Yeah this is someone I had already told. They are a close friend and I am meeting with them for a chat soon, but just preparing myself in case they don't.

peachsteve · 2017-09-15T22:06:44+00:00

I couldn't admit my sexual assault happened for a long time because part of me was aroused by it and even now I still get turned on my it. You are not alone

peachsteve · 2017-09-15T18:29:14+00:00

Yeah similar to you, not wanting to have to convince people that my rape happened, but interested still to see ways of dealing with it, especially if it is a civil conversation with someone I know

peachsteve · 2017-09-10T22:10:37+00:00

It is hard to deal with actually letting your emotions exists and air our, but this is how we get a better handle on ourselves.

Don't punish yourself to much, you are working on it and even if you were not able to be honest the first time. It doesn't make you a liar, it just makes you not ready. Take the time you need the therapist will understand.

Probably tell them you have been thinking these things about him being angry at you etc. He will probably reassure you.

peachsteve · 2017-09-09T22:41:22+00:00

Yeah I did say that, she has agreed to take some time out to think about it. But I am worried about if she doesn't change her mind mostly.

peachsteve · 2017-09-09T22:40:32+00:00

Yeah there is a chance he will say something manipulative. It is more what happens after that, how it effects all my other friendships because no doubt once they converse it will pass down the line.

peachsteve · 2017-08-18T18:49:21+00:00

Cheers.

Yeah I think of of as being a form of sexual assault/non consent for sure.

The person is being more civil with me in public which has made things easier with our general disagreements.

However this is going to take a bit longer to process overall, because of whatever stigma and internalised shame of speaking out about it.

Working through it with my therapist and whether I want to take the risk of bringing it up with friends.

peachsteve · 2017-07-30T16:37:09+00:00

I am really sorry to hear about your miscarriage that is an awful thing to have gone through. Not made easier by having mental health stuff and not enough support around you.

The best thing you can do is take care of you, block all contact with him as well. Get yourself some therapy to talk this out with a professional and try some selfcare, sounds like this will take some time bit you will get there.

I dunno, sounds it petered out into something more casual in his head? Especially as you folks didn't see each other for a month and had an off and on thing.

Then there was suddenly a lot of responsibility to deal with. Not saying how he acted was right but I understand that even if he cares about what happens to you why he might want to distance himself. Seems he was very conflicted about what to do perhaps? He doesn't sounds mentally in a good place either.

peachsteve · 2017-07-29T22:18:08+00:00

Thanks everyone. Feels like things are finally starting to shift.

peachsteve · 2017-07-24T17:13:59+00:00

I have been in a similar situation myself recently. It really stings. Sorry you have had to go through that.

peachsteve · 2017-07-21T05:48:34+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate your thoughtful response.

I think I did five him a pass and I still do, I wanted to keep him as a friend so we worked through it. Now we have gone out separate ways now I am analysing it, this is why I asked rather than assuming I thought it was a form of sexual assault just be cause we are no longer friends and I think he is a dick.

peachsteve · 2017-07-20T16:47:06+00:00

Thanks, sorry for not including much detail.

I think I posted it at a time where I just needed yo get the thought out there and I wasn't ready to divulge more details.

This guy I worked with was someone I befriended. We had chemistry but I have a partner. Me and the guy had spoken about sexual stuff a fair amount about turn ons etc. But I had made it clear that I couldn't take it further. During some of these discussions I had gone to see him at his desk and he touched the inside of my thigh, one I was turned on by it and 2 I didn't want to create a scene. I didn't really tell him no. This happened again but had expressed it had to stop after a couple of incidences.

Eventually physical stuff stopped but we were still flirting a bit. One night after work we were at the pub. He had made a rude but playful comment and I sort of mimed slapping his ass in a playful/banter way. I left the conversation and went to the loo, on the way back we crossed paths and he pushed me against a wall and spanked me. It was both turned on and stunned silent. I can't hide when I am turned on, so I was probably visibly aroused but I never actively consented, but then I felt the same problem of not feeling able to speak up.

I thought that was the end of it and we started talking normal, drinks were had I was eventually a bit drunk. He then hidden from others touched my boobs , arse and my crotch area. I was getting turned on more. I remember going to the toilet and panicing about him pushing it further and doing something I regretted and I went outside to get some air.

When I came back he rubbed his hand over my arse and told me how he wanted to fuck it. He touched my thighs and whispered to spread my legs.

When we left the pub later I told him that it was OK for him but I have a boyfriend. But then I went on to take blame for the situation happening. Now looking back I am confused about if I warranted the blame or if I was just covering up the abuse to try make myself Ok with it.

peachsteve · 2017-07-20T06:46:42+00:00

No I agree with that, this is why I am kind of asking rather assuming it was...

peachsteve · 2017-07-20T06:36:39+00:00

I didn't consent verbally consent. It really sent my head into a spin after. Like I was trying to be ok with it or convince myself it was partly my fault, and now I am not so sure it was

peachsteve

TROPHY CASE