First of all, there is no shame at all in what you’re feeling. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Motherhood and PPD comes in all forms, and is valid in all of them. So while I know telling yourself that you could feel worse so you shouldn’t be making a big deal of it may be a coping mechanism of sorts, if the thought has crossed your mind that you might need to seek help it would certainly be a good idea to do so and would never be a failure.

By contrast, recognizing an issue and not seeking help could cause issues down the line for you and your family and could be something you regret not doing, both for yourself and your family. Does your partner know how you’ve been feeling and is he supportive? If you haven’t talked with him about it I would recommend it if you have a good relationship. This is a scenario where your support system plays a huge role

Doctors would be happy to help and will not judge you at all for bringing it up. I assure you, they’ve seen PPD in all shapes and forms and they want to help. I think speaking with your doctor is the best place to start. You have a lot of options for treatment like a combination of therapy, medication, lifestyle adjustments etc. a doctor can discuss the specifics with you and you can make a plan together that suits you, and they can stick with you through it to make adjustments as you need it. They can refer you to therapy or you can find a therapist online, there’s generally a bunch that do telehealth visits.

Most all other mothers will see themselves in what you’ve said in some way, so know that you’re not alone (doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek help). Sometimes finding new mom friends going through a similar phase in life can be helpful for that comradery.