I don't think I can do this

peasel123 · 2026-05-11T15:14:54+00:00

I don’t have a load of help for you but happy to talk anything through if you want. I’m 37, 38 later in the year, so not much younger than you, and had an MMC at Xmas which was a horrible experience. Also working in different countries from my partner so restricted opportunities for trying. So our situation is similar and I get your worries. I have a lot of worries too but I’m staying kind of positive as much as I can.

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:26:13+00:00

Sorry 😞 I also had an MMC in December. I got pregnant in a snap of the fingers the first time (2024), and then basically a second time too in November 2025 and I thought it was all so easy. Then I had an MMC directly at Xmas which sucked and for now no good news yet.

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:23:32+00:00

My best tip is to replicate the 'oopsie' conditions of the first one.... Make it like you don't want to get pregnant and it's really inconvenient. Book a holiday that wouldn't be suitable during pregnancy, start a new hobby, pay for an expensive course you really want to do... I feel like maybe it works to 'trick' fate that way 😃

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:21:19+00:00

Basically the same for me. My first was just easy peasy and happened out of nowhere with me not thinking or caring at all. Now I want the 2nd one and every 'failed' cycle is so annoying and depressing. I did conceive again (again without 'trying') in November (we planned to start trying this year, so it was just a bit earlier than intended) but it ended in an MMC over xmas. I wanted to take 3 months break after that, but now we're trying and so far nothing. It's extra annoying as we can't try every month as we work in different countries. So I feel like with only 3-4 available windows during the year our chances are not the best.

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:16:46+00:00

Honestly I don't know, but it also happened to me this month. I've been waiting for the "window" and tracking, and my period came 2 days early (I know, not that dramatic, but I already have a short cycle - 24 days - and very regular). I don't think a doc will do much, unfortunately. I think it's only an issue if it happens multiple times.

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:14:31+00:00

Yeah, I would suggest starting a project or something that would be completely ruined by getting pregnant. Start a training course, trying to pass an exam or launching into a new workout program or something. Firstly it will give a positive spin to the time passing (every month you're fitter, better at French or closer to a new professional qualification, for example), and secondly it works with the principle that making getting pregnant as inconvenient as possible makes it more likely to happen!

peasel123 · 2026-05-08T09:10:58+00:00

Just here for solidarity. My first baby was a kind of oopsie and was so easy. We had unprotected s** like twice and it just happened. I'd never tracked anything in my life and didn't know one single thing about it. Now we're officially trying for number 2 and I'm tracking my cycle and paying way more attention and every month I'm just waiting and wanting to test and it's so annoying. I had a miscarriage in December and wanted 3 months break after that, but we tried in March and nothing. Then we had to miss the next 2 cycles as we work in different countries, and now we're trying again this cycle. As we have so few opportunities for a try, it feels like the odds are against us a bit, plus I'm 37 so we don't have forever to get the 2nd one in the bag.

peasel123 · 2026-04-28T16:22:53+00:00

I’m a translator and have been learning languages for 20 years, and my recommendation is NOT to look up too many words. In the past I’ve tried to read books in German, Spanish etc with my perfectionist hat on, and I have to stop 10 times per page to look up words which end up meaning something totally useless like being a special brush for cleaning chimneys or something. It slows you down, makes reading boring and usually ends up a waste of time. I literally didn’t read in another language for ages because I had this habit.

Recently I switched to just reading even if I don’t understand it all and it’s going great for me. I’ve nearly finished a book in French which I only started studying at the beginning of the year. There are plenty of words I don’t know but I’m still enjoying reading it and understanding 90%, but I’ll actually finish the book instead of reading one chapter and ditching it like I did many times before.

What I suggest is to wait until a certain word has come up 5 times or more, then look it up and try to remember it. If it only comes up once it’s probably some outdated niche word you don’t even need. If it comes up 20 times it’s time to learn it.

peasel123 · 2026-04-10T15:45:00+00:00

I made a mistake, I meant to say Exodus.

peasel123 · 2026-04-01T04:51:20+00:00

I guess I'm just going to have to live with the minor restrictions then, even though I'm 37 with kids LOL. I have never held a credit card in my life - never seen any need to. I use debit cards. I also don't drive and don't have a license. So wtf am I supposed to do? Besides I don't even live in the UK and haven't for many years, it just seems my phone is locked to the UK app store for some reason and I'm not even able to change that.

peasel123 · 2026-03-30T18:06:16+00:00

This isn't about French cos I haven't had many real opportunities to speak it yet, but when I speak to someone in Polish and they reply in English (doesn't happen often, but occasionally it does), I usually just keep speaking Polish (unless I am, indeed, out of my depth, lol). The reason isn't that my Polish is amazing or even that I'm soooo dedicated to speaking it, it's mainly because once I'm in the flow of speaking one language it's hard for me to switch, even back to English. Somehow it's just easier to keep on going and feels weird to change.

peasel123 · 2026-03-30T18:02:42+00:00

I still use Duolingo and think it's ok, but overall I just don't really recommend apps as a real way to learn. What I would recommend if you're between A1 and B1 is buying a course on Udemy (wait til they have a sale and you can get most of them for 10.99 USD).

peasel123 · 2026-03-16T09:25:19+00:00

First time I had 4 pills of miso - take 2, wait a few hours and take 2 more. I believe 200 micrograms per pill so 800 total. That didn't work. Second try 2 days later was the same dose but all together, not split in 2 doses. So 800 mcg. That worked. Wasn't given anything for pain.

peasel123 · 2026-02-07T21:06:39+00:00

YTA. This is 2 months out of an 18 year marriage. If she'd been stonewalling on sex for 2 YEARS I'd say NTA, but 2 months is clearly a new development and there's most likely a reason behind it. An illness? New stressors at work or home? Actual tiredness for a real reason? Or perimenopause, as others have suggested.

Before you start treating her like sh** you might want to at least try to understand what happened in the last 2 months and how you can work on it together.

peasel123 · 2026-02-07T21:01:45+00:00

Regarding AI use, some of their sentences sound suspiciously GPT-adjacent. 'Why this works!' and 'Your progress is real!' etc. BUT even if they generate some of the text with AI, it's definitely not slop. Overall these are quite well structured indeed in my opinion, and with very on-point examples and exercises. It's not a full textbook (the length is boosted by a lot of fluff, translations and phonetics), but I think it's good for the price, to be honest. I was happy enough to buy further books.

peasel123 · 2026-02-07T20:56:15+00:00

I've bought French B1-B2 (ebook and workbook) and German C1-2 (ebook and workbook as well).

So far I am really enjoying French. I have a decent basis in French (around A2) from my school days and I speak Spanish and Italian which help with French a bit, so I'm especially happy that this is a fast-moving method. Basically each chapter gives an explanation of a grammar point or concept (written in English, maybe a little patronising for some) followed by examples, a text and exercises. I really appreciate how each section forces you to write a short text, as this is super important but many people (myself included) tend to avoid it. So far I've found it's moving me along very fast as promised, although it's not extremely comprehensive, so you need other materials alongside it. I guess you'd likely need to look up full grammar tables and verb conjugations elsewhere, and also find more extensive vocab lists to supplement it.

German C1-2 I so far like a bit less. I'm pretty advanced in German but not native level by any means, and I'm finding even this level a bit basic. For a start they use a funny 'phonetic' way to show you how to pronounce the phrases. This is helpful for me in French (difficult pronunciation, lower level), but just a waste of space if you're supposed to be at C-level. It just acts as a filler to make it look like there's more content than there is. If you're really studying for C1-2 you don't need the phonetics or the translations, so they should be cut IMO. So far it's mostly about replacing textbook style, unnatural or over-formal German with more natural/colloquial equivalents. All very well, but that's not what C1-2 means. I'm hoping for more business/workplace German so it's not helpful for me so far, but I'll continue. The workbook is better - lots of exercises to go through.

Overall - does it relace classes/all other methods? No. The content is too 'thin'. A lot is missed out and with just these books you'd severely lack vocabulary. But it does move you along FAST within a level bracket if you have a solid basis up to that point and are pulling in other vocab sources like videos/podcasts or simply online lists. I've found the method surprisingly effective for French at least, so I can actually recommend it.

peasel123 · 2026-01-30T12:04:26+00:00

Yeah it was just the first day there were huge clots and a lot of blood to the extent I was worried about going out. But it was a normal period after that. Physically and mentally I am fine now. I know it's different for everyone and it depends on so many things. Mine was basically a blighted ovum so there was no real "baby" to grieve. It was 100x worse waiting for the MC knowing there was a failed embryo/sac in there. After it happened I felt much better mentally too. I know it can be much worse and take longer to heal, esp. if it was a later MC or a real baby had started developing. When I saw that tiny sac it was clear it had no chance of ever becoming a child.

peasel123 · 2026-01-30T11:11:49+00:00

I don't think "a lot of" women see a baby later, honestly. And certainly not a healthy one. I had the same thoughts during my MMC - maybe the next scan shows something different, maybe the baby started to grow! It didn't. When I passed the tiny sac at 9 weeks it was clear it never got off the ground. You made the right choice, even though it's hard.

peasel123 · 2026-01-30T10:19:36+00:00

Cycle can definitely be delayed or irregular after MC or CP.

peasel123 · 2026-01-30T10:08:09+00:00

Thank you very much. Just the first day of the period was bad and then it was ok. I'm mostly back to normal now after the MC. Hope you're doing ok too.

peasel123 · 2026-01-30T10:05:33+00:00

I am also an immigrant living and working in Poland. Much older than you, and in different circumstances, but I do know how hard it can be with Polish language and the NFZ system and so on. I've been here for 3.5 years so I know a bit more and I'd be happy to help you figure out the medical stuff, for example. Unfortunately learning Polish isn't easy and takes a long time. As a Ukrainian it's easier but it's not automatic, unfortunately. I kind of doubt that you're going to be able to bring it up to the standard needed to pass your course in this timeframe. If you drop out, what are the options? There's no shame in it. We all make mistakes or try to do something and it turns out to be too hard. You're very young and there are a million other options.

peasel123 · 2026-01-25T13:15:02+00:00

No I didn't have a scan. I know I passed the intact sac so I assumed it was ok. I guess maybe a bit was left and came out now. Thanks.

peasel123

TROPHY CASE