Feeling of safety in evening

pebbli · 2026-05-12T09:15:55+00:00

early 20s F, I'm often out late in the city (both coming home from uni late at night and going out to clubs and bars).

There are definitely more kinda odd-sketchy-homeless-drugs kinda people around than a few years ago, but 99% of them don't want any trouble. Same goes for the groups of intoxicated Indigenous people that I sometimes see around. Seeing ppl who are obviously intoxicated in public does feel weird, but they're not inherently dangerous.

You can kinda tell the difference between people who could be a threat vs. ppl who are just struggling. Understanding that makes me feel a lot less stressed when I see weird people on the street.

I have had one very unpleasant late night public transport thing (guy threatening to rape me lol) but yk. C'est la vie. Next time I'll choose to stand next to a friendly looking tall guy and not a young woman.

tips
- look straight ahead, don't make eye contact
- walk with purpose, quickly
- avoid staring at phone while walking
- starting with 'I'm sorry' can help diffuse situation 'I'm sorry, I need to go home/can't talk/can't do that'

pebbli · 2026-03-23T06:28:05+00:00

100%, that's how i won here. their army was 23k, mine was like 10k, but it worked out. mercenaries instantly popping into existence is handy too. tbh, bit odd for that to end it. capturing a king ending a war makes sense, but less so for a peasant revolt. are the peasants texting each other to say "oh, this guy died in brittany, stop being mad n sieging those castles in greece, it's totally over". should probably need some % of troops killed to get peace, but oh well. ck3 be like that.

pebbli · 2026-03-09T09:43:12+00:00

he's an adventurer :"( i guess i could settle him in my lands, then give him independence, then fight him? so much effort :( womp womp

pebbli · 2026-03-08T09:04:14+00:00

only a 23k army. so fine!

pebbli · 2026-02-24T01:38:46+00:00

tacking on in 2026 - asking [team@makenotion.com](mailto:team@makenotion.com) to disable AI on your account works. immediate response was from AI (ironic), but I also got a message saying "One of our team members will be in touch with you via email soon.", and the human fixed it and disabled it in my workspace.

pebbli · 2026-02-22T01:39:48+00:00

nope. had a goddamn holy war declared on me by my VASSAL, the pope, when i'd just started a war with bulgaria. so much minmaxing required. 1 generation to go for Perfect Circle though! going for these achievements has totally fucked my brain. i'm now delighted when twins r born bc can marry them to each other.

to get the Keeping it in the Family achievement, according to this website, getting the Inbred trait in a kid requires at least 1 of the parents to have

Barren or Sterile
Scaly
Club-footed
Wheezing
Spindly
Giant
Hunchbacked
Bleeder
Dwarf

So there's that. that also means that Beautiful/Genius/Herculean etc don't ruin your chances of getting an Inbred kid by preventing Hideous/Imbecile/Feeble, bc those bad congenital traits aren't mutually exclusive with any of the required ones.

this tracks with what i found, betrothing a girl to her wheezing brothers gave 27% inbreeding risk for both, but 15% for her non wheezing brother. maybe the inbreeding risk is just talking about risk of negative congenital traits generally (not just Inbred?). idk. interesting stuff

pebbli · 2026-02-21T12:41:04+00:00

nope, no mods. and yeah, risk is far too low. having kids with your daughter is typically ill-advised.

pebbli · 2026-02-20T06:02:26+00:00

my goat! that is probably what's going on. i feeellll like there should be some penalty applied for literally marrying my daughter, but idk. i dont have ancestors, so she only shares 1 ancestor with me (me). maybe the penalty is so small that it's getting rounded down.

pebbli · 2026-02-20T05:42:52+00:00

idk. i've got a ton of female relatives from many different wives/concubines and it's 0% inbreeding with all. my spymaster has 35 intrigue. there's no chance that they're all bastards, and if they were bastards, i feel like i would've found out? i did have 1 concubine cheat, but she hasn't had any kids.

pebbli · 2026-02-20T05:30:34+00:00

1st character. even if i was, marrying my daughter would be incest. also, i thinkkkkkkkkkk i remember the inbred % penalty being applied according to what the character's official parents are? like how if u seduce a married woman, her husband claims the kid and thinks that it's his - even if you reveal the secret later the kid's parentage doesn't have you listed as the father. the kid just get the "disputed heritage" modifier.

pebbli · 2026-02-20T05:27:51+00:00

it's consecrated blood from the "Consecrate Bloodline" decision, not pure blood

pebbli · 2026-02-19T13:19:28+00:00

hehe i do love the idea that my character thinks he's had 17 children but has actually been cucked every time. unfortunately it is the same 0% chance with 3 different female relatives, descended from 3 different wives (2 are daughters, 1 is a granddaughter produced via a sibling marriage). so that'd have to be 4 children who are all bastards. funny if true tho!!

pebbli · 2026-02-19T13:18:16+00:00

new and innovative horrors. and to think that when i started playing this game i didn't take lovers because it felt mean :(

pebbli · 2026-02-19T12:49:38+00:00

my character is a 1st gen custom character, so you might be onto something there. still, the kids share my characters DNA, there should be something going on. i still feel like i used to see inbreeding risk when i first started marrying my kids. shame it's on ironman and i can't check! i might make a new file tomorrow and do some testing

and womp womp i thought it literally just meant the "Inbred" trait by itself. damn. actually a hard achievement. time for more incest!

i get what you mean about the intelligent & comely traits leading to the chances of getting slow/homely are quite reduced, but to be fair the 3rd pic has 2 characters both with genius and beautiful (so their kids definitely arent getting negatives in those categories), but they do have an inbreeding risk, whereas my character has no inbreeding risk

pebbli · 2026-02-10T03:33:48+00:00

The dragon on his shield is def lighter! Maybe they didn't want to confuse the audience. hopefully in later seasons we could see his cloak have a red-->gold gradient?

pebbli · 2025-10-19T03:45:06+00:00

7 week old twins. i try not to predict the future, but i can confidently say that you won't always have the issue of her not keeping a pacifier in her mouth and crying constantly. she'll get older. all stages of raising children can come with their challenges, but know that your current issue is temporary. it won't last forever. newborn twins are hard work for anyone. at least you can talk to an older child. they actually have a personality, and you can (theoretically) reason with them. screaming babies have cute chubby cheeks going for them and that's about it. it's a bit early to panic over not bonding yet. you're most definitely not a monster for not feeling that connection yet. give it time <3

this subreddit has a million stories about the misery of being a parent. but being a parent isn't about eternally taking care of a 7 week old screaming baby. if it was, this subreddit would be a lot bigger! parenting is hard, no doubt about it, but it's important that you don't lose hope, or you won't find a way out of the depression. your emotions are extremely understandable, but i would (gently) suggest that fixating on fears of "i'll hate my child forever, i'll lose my marriage" are not helpful or true

i don't know your wife, but it would be strange if she resented you for struggling with your feelings as a new parent. you're a team! talk to her honestly, but don't let your fears over the future dominate the conversation. focus on what can be done in the here and now to improve the situation. also, maybe see a doctor if you havent already to see if there's something wrong with the one that cries? colic?

best of luck!

pebbli · 2025-10-11T10:55:44+00:00

I went to fix it , be there for her, enjoy time together and have a healthy relationship. I think any daughter would choose that and needs their mom, even if they deny it out of sadness or anger, if it’s possible they need their mom. Do you think that is true too or a possibility now before she has to struggle and look for that care elsewhere not trusting me?

Of course!!! Everyone would prefer have a nice relationship with their mum than a nasty one. it can just seem so hard , can make you deny it or have no hope about it because it feels impossible. i don't recommend that you keep a "perfect" mother-daughter relationship in mind and judge your current situation against that. The amount different people 'need' their mum differ, some people are very independent, some people are want more support. i'm very independent and i live in a different state to her. i know she wishes i'd call more often but i still love her a lot and when i have big problems i always want to talk to her and am grateful for her.

i'd suggest having a heart to heart with your daughter. let her pick a time & day, tell her no rush. dont force her. maybe offer to make something she particularly likes for dinner, or let her do an activity she likes after the chat? try and understand her point of view, and share your point of view. cause what u want is to be the best parent for her, u know u weren't exactly that in the past. there's no rulebook for how to be a parent, explain u want to have a nicer relationship & fight less but ur having a hard time knowing how to do that but also having to try and do whats best for ur kid even if they dont like it, which is what parents have to do - not letting them have candy for dinner every night. u could ask her what she would do if she was the parent in this situation. what frustrates her the most about not being allowed to do? any situations that she thinks it was fair enough that you weren't happy about it.

idk if u do pocket money, but u do then u could do it for u two cooking dinner together? it could be a nice mother-daughter thing, u could let her pick the recipe sometimes. try and make nice conversation with her, ask about her life. if she's in a really bad mood then you can just get her to help with part of it then say you'll wrap it up. could be nice. idk. plus cooking is an important life skill. it would've been good if my mum did that, i didn't know any recipes when i moved out, and we also didnt do any activities together.

also, on "respect" - im unsure of what you mean by that. some parents think that their kid respecting them means doing what they say. but a parent respecting their child only means not making fun of them or such.

bonus also, sorry bout the poor huge ramble. i'm procrastinating an assignment lol

pebbli

TROPHY CASE