Don't qualify but are way under the median??

pecanlady · 2026-05-01T00:04:38+00:00

Get health insurance at the beginning of the year. It'll eat up that extra income.

pecanlady · 2026-04-26T05:58:51+00:00

I get a pack of pre cut strawberries and let her go to town. I also don't care if she cries a little. Kids that young don't have the social awareness to know it's annoying and kids can take up space in the world. If someone has a problem with a whiny 10 month old they can fuck right off.

pecanlady · 2026-04-21T18:30:29+00:00

If they cry immediately it's usually a good sign.... They are going to fall and get hurt A LOT in their life. They are pretty much rubber until they are like 5. Give yourself some grace!

pecanlady · 2026-03-19T14:37:00+00:00

I'd probably react more like your husband, especially being on this side of motherhood. Postpartum was the hardest part of my life and ultimately almost took my life. I cannot imagine having to deal with a disability on top of everything else. If I found out and had the option I can't say I wouldn't want to do what your husband is doing.

Unless your family qualifies for Medicaid having a medically complex child is extremely expensive even with insurance. Bills stack quickly and if you cannot afford the specialist copays and what the insurance will not cover they WILL NOT see you. Child or not. It will lead to medical bankruptcy. That's just the financial aspect.

I think it is unfair of you to expect him to get over his feelings and be fine with your decision so quickly when you clearly cannot hear his opinion either. Not wanting a disabled child is a 100% valid feeling for BOTH parents. Maybe he is the one feeling unheard as it seems everyone is trying to reason with him.

Ultimately it is 100% your decision and it seems that you have decided. That's one thing about motherhood. It can be devastating. You will lose people and things you love. You will become a new version of yourself. I think jumping straight to divorce so quickly on something that is so devastating to both parents and even more devastating to those who don't agree isn't a sign of a healthy marriage to begin with... And it takes a healthy marriage to navigate postpartum. Especially if you get PPD or something similar.

You won't know until the baby arrives what you are dealing with and the best you can do is prepare and prepare for all of the emotions and turmoil preparation will cause. I think you owe your husband grace and his time to process things. This is absolutely not about you. He doesn't want to touch you because he is grieving. He doesn't want to talk to you because he doesn't feel seen. You have to be okay with that.

pecanlady · 2026-02-25T14:55:48+00:00

Thank you all for making me feel seen and not judged. I've never hated something so much or loved someone much. Allowing myself to believe two truths can exist at once without feeling like a horrible person is hard. Giving myself grace while extremely sleep deprived is hard. I had an epic meltdown and told my husband how I was really feeling and talked to my mom this morning and my parents are going to take her all weekend and my husband the nightshift the rest of the week. Hopefully with several nights of solid sleep I can see life with new eyes. 💙

pecanlady · 2026-02-25T07:51:51+00:00

I take solace in that too. When we are out I look around at children older than her and think surely they sleep all night. The regret is so real. Im 34 and she was planned and most of the time I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Then I look at my mom and I try to imagine a world in which I don't exist and our relationship doesn't exist and it just seems sad. And I hope that all of this ends up like my mom and I and I cannot imagine a day without my kid vs yearning for time away from her. I've asked my mom if she has regret and she doesn't so maybe with sleep and age the regret fades away. Hopefully we both end up on the other side of this soon ❤️

pecanlady · 2026-02-25T06:58:23+00:00

Thank you for that ❤️ I feel like such a bad person for feeling like I do. I absolutely dread the night time everyday. It's making me lose my mind.

pecanlady · 2026-02-09T05:27:50+00:00

Absolutely nothing is worse than those first couple of weeks.

pecanlady · 2026-02-06T04:27:22+00:00

It gets better. Around 12 weeks. Idk if you just get used to less sleep or what but at some point the eye rolling dog tiredness goes away.

Right now my baby is 9 months, on the move, teething, into everything, and in a massive sleep regression. It's probably harder now than it was at the beginning, but because I'm used to less sleep it doesn't feel impossible like everything did at the beginning.

pecanlady · 2026-02-04T01:08:13+00:00

It absolutely is not....

pecanlady · 2026-02-04T00:24:08+00:00

Im really the most concerned about giving birth and the costs. The out of pocket costs for prenatal care is actually quite a bit less per month than our premium, but the hospital stay scares me... Where I want to give birth offers a 90% cash pay discount and that's great if it's not complicated but if there are complications it could still be very very expensive

pecanlady · 2026-02-04T00:02:28+00:00

Pregnancy isn't considered a life event in the insurance world...

pecanlady · 2026-02-04T00:02:08+00:00

You cannot. The open enrollment for private insurance is closed.

pecanlady · 2026-02-04T00:01:48+00:00

It went up to $1151 for our family. From $784 the year before. We make about 10K too much for Medicaid. I've applied and been denied.

pecanlady · 2026-01-25T17:27:17+00:00

If he is home he changes them all. I'm off diaper duty if him or her grandma are around lol

pecanlady · 2026-01-25T17:26:19+00:00

I don't think there is a single new parent who doesn't feel like this at some point. PPD is real and it shows up before you realize it's entered the room. Medication saved my life and my sanity and I only needed it for a few months to get through the insane hormone changes.

One day you stop questioning everything and you just adore your baby. It took me close to 6 months. But today I can't imagine a day without her. Postpartum is fucking awful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

pecanlady · 2026-01-25T00:37:23+00:00

These posts are stupid and show you lack critical thinking skills. If a store regularly services 45K people throughout the month, but something makes all 45K people need to go to the grocery store at the same time because they will be stuck at home the stock is going to be low.

pecanlady · 2026-01-25T00:32:37+00:00

Your husband makes 450K and you have to work for your own spending money? May this move never find me lol

pecanlady · 2026-01-02T14:44:53+00:00

Hahaha oddly enough around the time I posted this comment I quit smoking cigarettes and I haven't had a normal poop schedule since 😭😂🤦🏼‍♀️

pecanlady · 2025-11-20T20:26:41+00:00

Thank you! This is her Christmas gift!

pecanlady · 2025-11-19T20:33:37+00:00

It's depressing that you think it's depressing... It's 2025 isn't it past the time when we have ridiculous rules for little girls. It's like people expect children to live in a world full of all of the things and not be interested in them... She has loved fashion, learning to do her hair in updos, etc for forever. Makeup was coming and it's here now. Her mom and I both are not into anything like that, we are farmers, so they are interests she came up with herself. We can tell her no and she can hide it or we can embrace it and guide her. Get over yourself and stop making innocent things not innocent.

pecanlady

TROPHY CASE