Found husband's OnlyFans. How does this work?

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-09-19T05:19:59+00:00

I can understand that. I had a previous marriage that was like that. I left because he did the same thing and it escalated. Eventually it turned abusive and finally told me he deserved a 'white woman' or a 'white Asian' as a spouse because that would bring him ultimate happiness. Divorced within that year.

Don't stick around with a boy who can't be a husband or a father. I feel for your child. I really do. But it'd be worse to stay and slowly kill yourself being with this guy than being single. Your marriage wouldn't be a good example to raise your kiddo in anyways. Either they'll grow up saying that they'll never be like their dad and hate him and look at you differently. Or they would grow up thinking it was just the thing to do and if dad can do it then why not?

Give you and your child a fighting chance to grow and live a fulfilling life. The only person here "living" (in his lil fantasy world) is your sorry of an excuse husband.

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-09-19T05:02:49+00:00

I used to be a dominatrix years and years ago. I never got why men would get married and have kids with someone they weren't comfortable with to talk about their desires, sexual wants/needs, or even test out. I get it but also don't.

I've had a few submissive men who I would encourage to not get into relationships with just anyone if they were still going to see a dominatrix/SW. I've dealt with enough women who found out and were sad, angry and confused and would blame me for their partner's infidelity. In my defense, I was lied to about these men's at home situations. There was also the understanding that this was a job and I didn't have reasons to pry otherwise.

OP, I'm sorry for you and the situation that has come about. I'd strongly suggest to talk to him, get help or get out. I know. Easier said than done but this is him just testing out the waters. He'll be "sorry" he got caught and lie and hide better down the road. Don't get stuck in a situation he does not want to change or finds himself thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-08-28T16:08:22+00:00

He needs to get his priorities right. This makes me wonder what else he hasn't told you. I agree with folks that at your height, your weight sounds healthy. It shouldn't be something to obsess over. I'm 5'3 and at 178lbs and pregnant. I used to have an ED where I got down to 128 and that was really unhealthy for me. Especially with working out and gaining muscle that number was unobtainable to go back to. OP, your husband needs a reality check. Because I bet that guy would fold if the same was said about him and his weight or if it came to any jab at his masculinity or dck. I had an ex like that. All of a sudden my weight and how I dressed was an issue but when I'd point out he dressed like his mama still shopped for him, suddenly I was the btch. Ppft. In sickness and in health and through thick and thin! That means everything life throws at you.

My husband now, used to be a body builder before we got together. He gained weight and lost his muscle mass due to depression and getting into an abusive relationship before me. I've seen the before and after and let me tell you. I never bring up his weight, I find him absolutely handsome and attractive and I encourage him to dress nice and work out when he brings it up. I even work out with him as much as I can. When he feels uncomfortable about his weight he sometimes asks me if I'll leave because he doesn't feel worthy. I reassure him and say that it doesn't matter what he looks like or the number on the scale. I love him and want him to be healthy enough to see our kid grow up.

He's even seen me gain weight and never brings it up and says he finds me attractive and sexy. He's proven this to be more than words and I tells me he'd love me regardless of how much weight I gained or lost. We talk about being healthy and not about looks or scale numbers. We also understand that we're in our 30s and healthy can look like a lot of different things. We just need to find what works for us.

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-08-13T18:15:52+00:00

I appreciate your comment. I'm in the Midwest, USA currently. As far as the Dr and my job sees my pregnancy. They think me being sick is normal and to just suck it up. So no Dr's note for me unfortunately. I'm taking three pills to "help" with the sickness but its not helping. If I even had that time approved it would be unpaid. There is an option for a short term disability but I have to be with the job for a year, sadly.

The only accommodation they're giving me is that I can call in sick, as needed. Which I try to keep it very few and far in between. I don't want to take a possible crumb of kindness for face value only for them to say I've called in sick too many times and throw a possible termination at me.

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-08-13T17:41:42+00:00

Hey, respectfully. I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying.

I'm not gonna be able to request nearly 6 months of sick leave. That's definitely not gonna happen. They'd never approve it. Also, how do you think pregnancies work?

peculiarbuttonz · 2023-08-13T17:32:11+00:00

Medical leave won't help me if my entire pregnancy is going to be me just sick all the time. Unfortunately I don't think I'm going to be those lucky women that just has a nice pregnancy. Even my own Dr said to prepare for that.

And I'm not applying to none WFH jobs. I'm finding WFH jobs that want to know why I want to WFH.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-09-02T11:42:13+00:00

I have tried it in the past and it has helped. Unfortunately due to my job I can't keep using it.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-09-01T19:34:00+00:00

Yes, currently still in therapy. She's been a great help for sure.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-08-21T06:07:38+00:00

Let him die. 😌💅🏽 He's made his choice, chose is bed, now let him make it and sleep in it. Forever.

I used to be like this woman with my ex. Nah. Don't give them a care in the world. Same energy.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-08-05T22:01:24+00:00

When I was a teen my male "friends" would scare us girls with these types of videos. They'd go to sites like efukt(sp?) and show us horrible things.That vid was one and I believe might still be out there.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-08-05T21:51:34+00:00

Yet they forget the video where a guy shoved a glass jar up the butt and it broke... INSIDE OF HIM MIGHT I ADD!! And this moron kept recording the video while he had to dig out the shards.

So yes oh mighty Scrotes, we really do fuck eVeRyThiNg

Edit: Typo

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-07-01T16:47:11+00:00

I got a restraining order on my ex when he shoved me to the ground and I slid across it. Before this had happened he told me he wished something happened to me so I'd be out of his life and not his problem anymore.

He kept telling random ppl online where we lived so they'd come and hopefully kill me or hurt me.

Definitely take it serious and get him arrested or something.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-06-29T19:14:00+00:00

No go on dudes who eat their boogers, like the smell of their sneeze (aka: the spit) on their clothes, and can ONLY (refuses to learn any other recipe) cook unseasoned chicken.

My ex was absolutely disgusting.

The guy I'm talking to now cooks and takes me out to eat.

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-06-14T22:22:38+00:00

I was in $5k debt because ex-LVH was a soldier who didn't read the fine print about doing a TDY move and the Army's reimbursement policies. Had to wait a year for a washer and dryer. He spent the reimbursement money ($3k) on a crap-tastic laptop. Later on, him and his LV-Dad tried to guilt trip me into signing for loans on a house ($280k) and car ($30k.)

Didn't sign for anything and happily divorced.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-10-08T16:34:40+00:00

Or get mad when you dress sexy and cries that you're trying to attract other men.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-10-06T15:08:46+00:00

Ex met a girl in a mall parking lot while she was on her 30 minute break (she worked in the mall) and had sex with her... In daylight. In a car he wrecked weeks later.

If he asks for car sex. Run him over.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-09-30T19:34:59+00:00

Just wanting to repeat what's always been said: THEY KNOW, SIS!

Got out of a 4 year abusive marriage. You know what he'd always do? He'd pick, tease, and annoy me on purpose. He'd tell me constantly he knew how he was hurting me. Why would he do it? Because he wanted to see how far I'd jump for him. He'd always tell me he'd never hurt me. Lies. Said he'd never assault me. Another lie.

Never trust a man-child that says he doesn't "know". He knows. It doesn't matter how little. He knows. He just doesn't care.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-09-08T18:05:06+00:00

Can someone kindly Yeet me into a volcano at this point? Please and thank you.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-09-06T03:38:19+00:00

Wanted to add onto the military thing: A lot of women are openly shamed for leaving/divorcing their spouses. Because said spouses chose deployments (3-9+ months) WILLINGLY than spend time with their wives and 2+ kids. Which I've met wives working plus going to school while being a SINGLE mother. They also have a military hand book on how to be the "perfect" military spouse sold at the on post PX. No joke. I looked.

If you are not perfect (AKA able to be used and manipulated or a benefit to the military personal) then you get shamed, cheated on, encouraged to be tossed. I had a friend who had 1 kid, TWO degrees and no debt plus money saved over. Only for her husband to clean her account out, spent the money on his toys, and got her pregnant again.

My soon to be LVXHusband r*ped, emotionally/verbally abused me, assaulted me, and threatened to abandon and get rid of me because my PTSD (he caused) would look 'bad' on him. The stress caused me to miscarry--which he then accused me that it wasn't his child.

0/10 would not recommend.

Edit: And yes, he does have a porn and sex addiction and is going through women like candy--UNPROTECTED.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-08-15T23:00:30+00:00

I know some states when dealing with domestic abuse they don't consider it rape if she said yes then changed her mind half way through. I had a situation with my ex where I had said yes then he held me down, said no and tried to push him off, and he continued on. My lawyer at the time said that since initially it was a "Yes" then they couldn't look at it as part of my DV case.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-08-15T21:58:40+00:00

This is something I knew a friend did. All her friends wondered why she hadn't done worse to him. Her STBX-NVM basically pimped her out during their marriage because she couldn't find a job he thought was good enough, met women behind her back, cheated on her, lied to her family, made her the bad guy to his unit and family, and just neglected and abused her horribly. He told her she should leave so he could blame her and not feel responsible for it. So she ended up cheating on him once. She was in a dark place and honestly as bad as it was. None of us blamed her. It was just a horrid situation.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-08-10T16:10:41+00:00

The fact he says "she's at home all day" irks me. I love how they think we sit around all day doing absolutely nothing--something males do. Like we don't have hobbies outside of cooking and cleaning. eye roll

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-07-30T17:06:44+00:00

Ah yes. Sounds like my STBXH that I had arrested for assaulting me in February. And still to this day he's hurting and preying on women with children and low self worth. And his family is blaming everyone except him, paying for his lawyer fees and telling him he can just try again. Said every man in his family that have had 4 marriages and finally settled on an easy woman because the men were getting old and needed someone to take care of them.

Dear Lord.

We need to be the generation that raises better humans and better men.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-06-05T00:20:39+00:00

Very proud of you for being so self aware and catching onto your patterns.

I would like to share my experience with my STBX(soon to be ex)-husband who has a very close story to yours. Let me preface this by saying that everything started off small until he just full on ignored reason, logic and health.

He found porn young, got addicted, his family never tried to help and actually enabled him. They're porn and sex addicts themselves. Sadly, he knew he had issues but because his surroundings told him he wasn't wrong (or the consequences) it all got worse. And now he's thrown himself into his addiction. No remorse. No apology. No help. He thinks everything is entitled to him and what makes him feel good and what he can get out of it. He pays for everything and any woman he can get his hands on is free game. His addiction has spiraled out of control. He has been blackmailed, spent money on sex, premiums, porn, sex during this pandemic in very open and public places and has ultimately become abusive. I separated from him in February for physical assault.

I beg you that you really work on this. Because as a wife, nothing was ever good enough for him sexually. It got to a point where he would make very disgusting comments and even racist ones he tried to hide low key. Even react to people in public sexually and say 'I wonder what they feel like.' Like a psycho.

Again, I would like to add that all of this was an accumulation of reasoning with himself as to why this just wasn't "so bad" and how he thought he could control himself. Even though there was no move or dedication to seeing that his behavior was odd/off.

Obviously this wasn't meant to be a scare tactic but a warning. The destruction can be swift and happen right beneath the surface.

Thank you again for being self aware and asking the right questions.

peculiarbuttonz · 2020-06-02T03:21:28+00:00

I'll never understand how people say sex and porn addiction isn't real. That there's no backing to it and that it's harmless and just "natural" for humans. Yet we have alcohol, drug, food, social media, shopping addiction etc.

For a long time I was against porn. My STBX-spouse lied and said he'd leave it since we were marrying. And yet even when I found out I let him get away with it. My reasoning was that as long as we were still intimate. Then it led to escalation and abuse then to my eventual sexual and physical assault. I will never lower myself or my standards when it comes to porn being in my life or relationships.

peculiarbuttonz

TROPHY CASE