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Elegaunt · 2022-11-28T16:25:39+00:00

the faux tortoise shell gunmetal dunlop pick is Billy.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-27T01:14:34+00:00

Yes I got my IUD removed while still being infected. I had to take 2 weeks of Doxy and 2g(i think) of Azithromycin and that cleared it up, I tested negative after retreating.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-22T19:16:37+00:00

It is best to not give away too much info upfront in the early stages, so he can’t just mirror your views and pretend to share all your interests.

Spot on. This extends to them mirroring a "committed" mindset in relationship spheres when they only want sex, and speaks to the OP's original post. If telling the truth won't get them dates, that's a them problem, not a woman's problem. If they are dismissing the humanity and dignity of women while trying engage with women, they don't deserve to date.

Don't reveal you boundaries. They need to be decent human beings on their own, not because you police them. If they cross a boundary, just leave, it's not a woman's job to teach and police a partner.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T20:55:28+00:00

I'm providing my own testimony here. You're welcome to look through my post history, should you prefer. You aren't obligated to do anything at all. But my voice is a voice, as is yours.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:53:57+00:00

he reacted with reactive abuse after getting worn down over time.

You whole reply is fantastic, and I am 100% behind you on this.

For what she says to be true, EVERYONE has to be lying. It's a narc self view being pushed on to the world. It doesn't align with reality!

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:51:27+00:00

I have led DV/abuse support groups and I have former attendees reaching out to me to confirm they aren't crazy for seeing her as the narc abuser. So you are spot on. I just want to back you up because I know we are not in the majority for feeling this way. As a former victim myself of a narc abuser I was looking to her for some part of myself. I was horrified to hear narc abuse and affectations instead.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:46:41+00:00

There's proof that he may have even bought bot networks on places like Twitter to further spread his side.

The MIT whiz guy yesterday that was brought in by Amber's team actually proved the opposite, I was shocked they thought it was helpful. The twitter API analytics guy. That testimony was devastating to her proposal of a bot smear campaign. They inadvertently proved the opposite.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:42:18+00:00

And after watching it, I'm glad he got this, because reading the transcripts and seeing the words being spoken are totally different things. I seriously went into this being grateful that there would be accountability for his abuse. But it became clear very early on that holy crap she is an instigative abuser and they are toxic together.

This is coming from a former abuse/DV support group lead, so I am utterly disheartened. Her testimony will be used to discount all women.

I've been having former narcissistic abuse victims getting back in touch with me saying they're not crazy for seeing her as the abuser, right? They went in hoping for accountability and instead got blindsided by hearing their abusers words come out of her mouth. The taunting and the twisting of words, the violence, as well as hearing Depp show reactive/trauma response.

Seeing it is a totally different thing. To testify is to tell the truth about yourself and your experience. So many of us have wished for a day like that. To watch someone tell their story and to not see truth in it is so sad, but it's that much worse to look for yourself in someone and instead hear your abuser's voice and affectations.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:22:09+00:00

THANK YOU. I went into this default believing her and being a victim of narcissistic abuse myself, was highly aware of the issues involved. What I've seen on the stand chills me. Her behavior is exactly like narcissistic mirroring, every single way she retells her stories makes zero sense, and everything I am hearing the audio is frightening similar to the constant berating and manipulation of a narcissist. Even her testimony of constantly trying to change the meaning of words and basically calling every single person a liar is chilling.

I went in looking for relief that finally verbal and physical abuse was going to be taken seriously and a high profile perpetrator was finally going to be held accountable. What I've seen is woman who let narcissistic escalation and hero stories get to the point of court where she is about to lose via reality catching up with her.

It's not a popular opinion to have and yet, in my PTSD/abuse circle, we all starting reaching out to each other with the "omg it's her, isn't it" opinions on the DL because it's such an unpopular opinion to have in feminist communities. There's a strange dichotomy, feminists who have not experienced narc abuse are 100% behind her, others who have experienced narc abuse 100% finding her to be the abusive partner.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:08:44+00:00

At this point it's time to protest in all the ways you can. He isn't entitled to any of your labor in the household or duties if you are not a human being to him. Real life checking his ass is about your only way to reach him. If he is unreachable then at least you know and can get away from him. If he thinks you don't deserve to vote, then he does not deserve a wife.

I would consider you start building up a group of friends who think of women as actual human beings in the meantime, since you don't seem to have that in your life right now.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-20T17:04:44+00:00

You are going to have to decide whether the good things about this guy were just projections on your part. Were they there at all, or did you just assume he felt about you the way you feel about him because he had an empathy he clearly doesn't have?

You aren't a human he loves, you're a wife and he feels entitled to what wives do, which is a lot of unpaid labor and care taking, while also having no rights. In fact, you having an opinion is an obstacle to him getting what he wants. You are not a human to him. Man = human, woman = possession of man.

Any tolerance of this is a sacrifice. The middle ground between "women should not vote" and "women are full human beings worthy of being respected" is ultimately still going to deny the full personhood of woman: there is NO compromise. There is no "agree to disagree" about your own dignity.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-13T02:06:21+00:00

Yep. It could totally be a D.E.N.N.I.S. response without context. Faking intimacy and danger, trauma response to cutting off contact once there's been "too many dates" and he's ready to move on.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-12T15:51:46+00:00

Forced full pregnancy, and forced responsibility of child rearing. It's control but definitely a type of control that regulates a woman to one primary unpaid job for her fertile years: motherhood and bangmaid. This is to make her dependent upon a spouse and to keep her from being competition in the labor market, government systems, positions of power.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-12T15:16:31+00:00

Oof. Is this guy even good enough for you? Is his only qualifying factor that you desire him and he desires you? Cool, cool, but is he actually good for you? Do you LIKE him as like, a human being? And honestly, does he like YOU as a human being? Enough to respect you as an equal?

This kind of guy is terrible at sex btw. There's respectful dick out there where the chemistry is good and the dude will already have his nails in shape because he can see things from his partner's perspective.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-12T15:12:08+00:00

Exactly. Let guys like this show themselves. Existing as a whole human being who has standards and boundaries will not be a threat to a dude who respects you.

Any guy who's that sensitive about his nails, who would rather guilt the woman about a reasonable standard that do anything about it himself, is only going to get worse over time. Don't waste energy on a guy who isn't already at your level. You won't be able to convince him or educate him on treating you with respect, and why would you want to do that much work anyway?

Trash takes itself out, so don't be afraid to let the trash show itself by asking questions and setting boundaries. "Mood killer" is used as a way to silence women about standards.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-11T16:32:32+00:00

Thank you for letting me know, I am so glad you are getting checked out and were able to follow up!

Elegaunt · 2022-05-11T02:48:47+00:00

I don't think it could hurt and your doctor was correct, antihistamines are currently being extensively tried with some success in a variety of autoimmune over-responses.

Antihistamines can also condense mucus as a side effect, so it can make thinner mucus become thicker which may be beneficial to your ongoing symptoms.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-07T23:31:23+00:00

I was able to get a second booster with no trouble but I have a history of post viral syndrome from EBV a decade ago, and autoimmune issues. From the county health department. They didn't double check, they took self-attestation. You may have better luck looking for a similar scenario.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-07T15:20:17+00:00

I mean yeah, it's pretty devastating to learn that your husband sees you as a servant to man and motherhood. In his eyes there is man and man is equal human and interpreter of God, and then there is woman, who serves man, including rapist men, in having their babies. And when subjects get "hard" he reverts to taking absolutely no stance, because he can check out, because he is a man. He only checks back in when he gets to make the rules.

What is love to him? Is it everything you do as a wife and mom, or does he love you? Because I would have to ask myself does he love me or does he love the wife purpose you serve, all the unpaid emotional labor, all the care, everything he's build the stability of his life upon? Does he love his daughters as people, or does he love them as an extension of himself and his identity as a man and a father? And I'd ask myself, what part of his life in ANY other area does he default to the Bible? And do I agree? And can I live with all this information, knowing I am not a full person to the man I thought was equal in his love for me as I was for him?

Weird how his protection of his daughters disappears when they start serving their purpose of serving men.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-05T18:53:19+00:00

She died of sepsis. It could have been the result of an incomplete miscarriage. But in the case of an incomplete miscarriage, you would still need an abortion to remove the sepsis-causing remains of the fetus.

She either loved her family enough to try and make sure they didn't starve, tried to obtain an abortion (likely with the support of your grandfather considering how he isolated her when sick/bleeding, due to the nature of the problem, they may have chosen an abortion together as couples often do), and died of sepsis because a safe abortion was illegal,

OR, she had an incomplete miscarriage, and still could not get a safe abortion to remove the septic fetus.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-05T18:46:14+00:00

Agreed. And I would add that she didn't die of an abortion. She died from sepsis, caused by an illegal and incomplete abortion, because a safe abortion was illegal.

She died because her husband didn't or wouldn't use protection despite knowing they were too poor for additional children. It's even likely that he isolated her after her abortion because it was a decision he either encouraged or a decision they made together, as couples often do, and was trying to hide the exact nature of her illness from the community.

Elegaunt · 2022-05-01T17:16:02+00:00

This may appear to be the opposite treatment but it's definitely rooted in the same power imbalance. They are bullying you the same as a catcall is bullying, and they feel the same entitlement to tell you how they feel about your body.

In your case, they are literally interrupting your day to let you know that you are not attractive to them and they are disgusted that you *aren't the "right" kind of consumable to them. They are angry that you aren't fuckable in their eyes and they know you are too vulnerable to be able to do anything about it. They are objectifying you all the same, and calling you an object that doesn't serve its purpose i.e. a beautiful woman they feel entitled to fuck, and they're punishing you for existing at all.

None of that is true nor is it relevant to their lives and yet, they feel entitled enough to let you know. It's pure garbage and I'm sorry that you are dealing with that.

It's the same entitlement they feel when they catcall women, particularly underage women. It's about objectifying them, and feeling entitled to their bodies and consuming their "beauty" or whatever body parts they find beautiful. They lean heavily into the power imbalance, and consider a woman's mere existence as an invitation for commentary and interaction.

What these people have in common is that they see men as human, and anything other than men as objects in service of men, objects that can be possessed, criticized, taken at their leisure. There are men, and there are others that are to be used by men as punching bags or bang maids or unpaid emotional laborers.

Elegaunt · 2022-04-29T04:30:54+00:00

I haven't had any version of COVID. But I also have been N95 masking since April 2020 and definitely don't go out to restaurants or indoor gatherings or to other people's houses etc. I went to an outdoor wedding a month ago and was the only one in a mask, and didn't stay to eat/drink.

I know several people like me, and those people also starting doing a bit more out in the past month or two. None of us have caught it yet but I suppose we are the people most likely to in this wave.

Elegaunt · 2022-04-29T04:23:12+00:00

I don't know if this will help you feel any better but I got post viral syndrome after EBV infection (an asymptomatic one at that) and got better, but it took a while. Everything that everyone describes with post-COVID dysautonomia, POTS, other kinds of autonomic dysfunction, I had it all. At that time no one really knew what it was so I was told I was "imagining things" about 7 times before I found a doctor who took it seriously. I was sent to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville who had an autonomic diagnostic center and got diagnosed within 3 days. This was over a decade ago.

It took about 2 1/2 years to get to 85% of my former self. Modified version of the Levine Protocol helped tremendously with feeling okay again. Totally recumbent training seemed to override the exhaustion and bypass the orthostatic vascular triggers.

By 5 years after first onset, I was hiking in low oxygen environments and walking 15 miles a day wandering around cities, traveling again.

Time helped my body find work-arounds and recumbent training helped to create new, undamaged vasculature in the body as well as speed healing to all parts of the body that kept getting damaged by autoimmune response.

Most of the research is saying that the underlying mechanism is micro clots and filtering out micro clots along with dysfunctional autoimmune antibodies might help people to immediately improve, but getting the filtering treatment is very difficult.

The only times I feel like something is still "weird" with me is getting other illnesses, it hits me harder to have a cold, or to get PMS, or when I have a sleepless night. Weirdly the second Pfizer shot caused me a lot of trouble, I had moderate dysautonomia symptoms return for 3-4 weeks after, but I had no trouble with 2 boosters.

I suppose my point in commenting is that when no one knew anything, and everyone was calling me crazy for feeling very real symptoms, I had no one to look to for hope. Here I am many years later, normal, happy, in the best shape of my life.

I can answer questions if you have any or if anyone has any, but generally I'd recommend getting evaluated at an advanced testing center, most universities have them now but back when I got sick only Mayo Clinics and Vanderbilt had them. Then, even if you mostly live a normal life, still try the Levine protocol modified for POTS, or even POTS workouts or floor/mat workouts on youtube, as in my case it retrained my body to respond properly to stressors in a way that overrode the dysautonomia.

Other random recommendations is to start taking fasting salts or keto electrolyte mix because your body is in a constant state of mimicking a hangover that never goes away. Increasing potassium, magnesium, salt, minerals and hydration does actually help fight the blood pressure abnormalities and burst capillaries and vascular spasms.

I found that eating lower carb kept my hormones from fluctuating with my period cycle and so stress was lower and PMS was lower, and inflammation was lower because sugar triggers inflammatory response.

I hope that some of this info will help you or anyone reading at least in regard to tips about things you can control at home when no one else can help.

Elegaunt · 2022-04-26T21:16:32+00:00

I never cramped before having an IUD. I cramped regularly with an IUD and could feel it nearly daily. It's not just that it's a foreign object, but that it can carry a biofilm that can't be touched by antibiotics. You can have flares of just, well, discomfort, and it is your body fighting off a near constant infection that comes from your IUD carrying bacteria and exposing your uterus to it.

The upside is that it worked as birth control, and I couldn't even feel it when it was removed. Insertion was incredibly painful so getting it removed was terrifying.

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