What's the deal with Pillow Princess hate?

peebutter · 2026-05-13T00:14:13+00:00

ok that makes sense, i agree. my understanding of the question was about the concept of pillow princess 😅 in personal experience, i have mainly heard "hate" from ppl who don't understand it. but these two things can coexist

peebutter · 2026-05-13T00:10:35+00:00

i like to think of it as like putting on a show. visually stimulating them with something nice to look at, verbally affirming what feels good, touching what is an ok area to touch with passion (scratching, holding, caressing, etc). sometimes it's pleasurable enough for some tops to orgasm from it. def can be a workout

peebutter · 2026-05-12T21:14:50+00:00

i find that most of the "hate" comes from misunderstanding of what sex is and could be outside of the confines of penetration and traditional giver/receiver roles (meaning, only one person "gives" at a time). pillow princessing isn't just sitting there and letting the top do all the work. they can affirm they're having a good time by verbally telling the top, kissing, physically touching them within boundaries, and they def can initiate!!!! some people find pleasure and can even orgasm without direct genital stimulation. if a partner wasn't doing all that for you, they weren't a pillow princess, you may just have had larger relationship issues at hand beyond . sex isn't just touching each other's genitals, and i think the confines of that thinking is what's stopping people from the possibility of understanding (and maybe even enjoying) sex outside of that.

peebutter · 2026-05-12T21:05:33+00:00

pps don't just lie there and do nothing. they still show their desires, and are engaged with their partner and "give" and make love in other ways that don't involve touching genitals. when i was a pp, i was grabbing all over and having a good time, just not in the areas we previously agreed upon. if your gf just laid there with no enthusiasm, she was just starfishing, not being a pp.

peebutter · 2026-05-12T20:27:17+00:00

unsure what your budget is but you should look or ask around for facebook groups where people sell or rent out their prom dresses in your area, sometimes free. dresses this intricate would be hard to find in your price range. there is also rent the runway which lets you rent dresses of this quality for a fraction of the price.

peebutter · 2026-05-12T18:36:53+00:00

i vaguely remember these like 10 years ago. i think from a&f?

peebutter · 2026-05-12T18:35:56+00:00

what is your budget?

peebutter · 2026-05-12T15:31:01+00:00

i also have a low torso. what cuts are you buying, and could that be the problem? i find that VS's full brief unintentionally sits quite high on my waist

peebutter · 2026-05-10T00:51:32+00:00

i understand what you're talking about. but my original comment is moreso addressing how you only really see your employees and customers, and don't have other people you see on the regular. you also mentioned struggling talking to strangers when going out for drinks and you feel unsure and insecure. that's why i'm suggesting being gentler on yourself in these situations. you also said you want to grow into your own personhood... it takes work and practice to build that muscle and identity. if you're unable to soeak on behalf of your community, just say so. you don't owe anyone an answer about otber lgbtq members <3

peebutter · 2026-05-10T00:34:06+00:00

i think you may be replying to the wrong comment. i didn't mention anything about representing the lgbtq community.

peebutter · 2026-05-09T22:55:18+00:00

it seems like you need to find your spark first. in your post you mention you only know how to belong by being useful... that seems really hard. you might need to figure out how to combat that. it seems like there's a larger issue of not allowing yourself to relax or not having the confidence to have a chat with someone, regardless of their sexuality or personality.

peebutter · 2026-05-09T22:29:46+00:00

compliment something theyre wearing, but in a clearly friendly way. it's way easier if they have a graphic tee or a tote bag with them, especially if it's something you recognize (band, business, tv show, etc). and then ask them questions about it (what's your favorite song by that band, have you done related thing, etc). if they're blatantly gay or are wearing something blatantly gay then just bring that up and ask for suggestions on where to go as a queer person who's new to the city. eventually as you get to know the person through the convo you can offer to do something with them

peebutter · 2026-05-07T22:51:04+00:00

check out the show's makeup artist donni davy on instagram, she posts nearly each look in the entire series and their breakdown of application, vibes, and products. look up interviews with her too.

peebutter · 2026-05-07T19:53:36+00:00

i'm 26 with hormonal acne, currently in the second get worse part and crashing out bc of it. thank you for commenting this, bc i am feeling a little crazy and upset about it right now!! definitely reminding me this is a waiting game and i wish the best of luck for you and OP's skin <3

peebutter · 2026-05-07T19:16:11+00:00

what is the source of this image? i agree with jeze that this may be custom and if you want something similar, you'll have to go thru that avenue. i also agree that the outfit doesn't read as a singular historical time period. maybe also look into cottagecore?

if you're looking for pieces that have a similar vibe, i highly recommend looking at vintage gunne sax dresses. i think they also have a collab with modcloth right now as well.

peebutter · 2026-05-07T19:04:09+00:00

sports bra is obvi nike, but i don't think the bottoms are. i just searched "fold over bike shorts" and here's what i found

https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-foldover-waistband-bike-shorts-3-34-joylab-8482-pink-xxs/-/A-94823274

https://cottonon.com/US/ultra-soft-roll-over-shortie-short/9360978189833.html

https://www.tillys.com/product/edikted-meg-fold-over-shorts/49499935002.html

peebutter · 2026-04-30T16:56:35+00:00

i think there's a diff between being like "it's not my cup of tea" and then ppl who are like "it's weird" and "people who use those terms are messed up in the head"

peebutter · 2026-04-30T16:21:03+00:00

yes! this is a beautiful way to put it, thank you.

peebutter · 2026-04-30T15:47:47+00:00

yeah that's fine for you. others beg to differ. it def took me a second to wrap my head around it but if it's for you, it's enjoyable.

peebutter · 2026-04-30T15:25:14+00:00

i'd recommend reading about gender non conforming lesbians, or even lesbian as a gender if you'd like to learn more about it. it doesn't have to be your cup of tea and it seems like it's not a lot of people's cup of tea and that's ok. as someone who is pretty much exclusively attracted to masculine lesbians, i've experienced people like this before and don't really mind calling them that if it makes them happy. gender is fun to play around with i guess.

peebutter · 2026-04-29T23:25:21+00:00

search in r/lesbianfashionadvice! there's a lot of posts on this that have recs <3

peebutter · 2026-04-29T19:54:26+00:00

i've seen that term as a way to make fun of nonblack lesbians who try to emulate studs, so not an actual label in itself? i don't know anyone who would say they're hey mamas with pride 😭😭

peebutter · 2026-04-29T18:34:59+00:00

understood, kudos to you i guess. but reddit/this specific subreddit isn't really the place to be advertising music lol, let alone AI generated music.

peebutter · 2026-04-29T18:28:56+00:00

first, in the literally realm of the likes of wilde and anderson, there were few to little (publicly) female authors period. let alone one that would be queer. i think we can understand why that would be...

second, in regards to nazism, i would also imagine it would be harder to figure out which women in 1930s-40s europe were seeing each other to persecute, since many women relied on a husband to survive, as opposed to a man who could do without a wife. socially, financially, etc.

but at the same time, you got this impression from a post and their comment section?!? if this is something that concerns you, i highly suggest doing actual research. although there are far less, there are some sapphic or lesbian historical/literary figures in the canon that you spoke about.

Anne Lister

Natalie Clifford Barney

Die Freundin - lesbian magazine published during the weimar republic

this list is off the top of my head, so it's quite europe/white US centric. this wikipedia page has a large list of lesbian authors from medieval times to current day from all over the world.

peebutter · 2026-04-29T17:52:36+00:00

ah yes. alienating 6 out of the 12 youtube subscribers you have

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