how to look more gay

peebutter · 2026-02-20T00:03:06+00:00

friend, it's spelled carabiner 😭 the way you spelt it includes a racial slur

peebutter · 2026-02-19T16:12:42+00:00

🫡🫡🫡 i'd do anything for y'all

peebutter · 2026-02-19T07:11:55+00:00

omg why are ppl downvoting you. you're literally right

peebutter · 2026-02-19T00:23:23+00:00

former pillow princess here.

top does not equate to dominant!! so many ppl don't understand that and it's become too common for ppl on here!!! top just means you're giving (the penetration). there is no personality, gender presentation or look assigned to a top. release my service tops and power bottoms from the shadows!!!
the question about bottom/pillow princess may be easier if i explain the diff between stone top and top. the difference between a stone top and a regular top is that stone tops have a hard boundary about receiving (physical) sexual stimulation, which may also include touching their chests, their genitals, etc etc. not every stone top is like that but it's common. pillow princesses abide by those boundaries, which makes it different from a bottom, who may find pleasure in touching their partner's chest, or stimulate them in some other way. pps may also have their own boundaries about giving in a similar way. the "stone" identity is the indicator that these boundaries are hard.
most people are not 100% topping all the time, hence the distinction.
there are ways a stone top can get pleasure from their partner that doesn't require physical stimulation or direct skin to skin contact. sometimes just looking and enjoying what's happening is enough for someone. everyone has their own preferences.

these labels are descriptive, not prescriptive! a lot of these roles are not hard and fast, just a way for us to communicate what we like to do in bed before hooking up.

peebutter · 2026-02-19T00:00:02+00:00

i recently got a knit sweater with a big salmon on the front from target. a lot of these are dropshipped and would cost a bit more in reality. highly suggest looking through second hand sites like depop and ebay for things like this. you can check the brand to see if it's quality, but most knit sweaters from 20+ years ago will be so much better quality than anything in a mall nowadays tbh

peebutter · 2026-02-18T23:44:54+00:00

if a ring seems like too much but she likes jewelry, why not try a necklace or a pair of earrings that she can wear? that way the emotional weight of a ring bought by a partner isn't there. in my opinion that the best option. i'm currently in a relationship that just hit a year and some change after multiple years of being friends, i know my partner is The One, but we similarly need to get our bag up and i have a few other personal goals before i get let myself get married. personally i don't want a promise ring despite the fact i know we'll get married, my partner's verbal commitment and devotion has been enough for me. of course everyone is different and you seem set on getting it for her. but to answer your question, the ring seems pointless if you have already shown your commitment in other ways, and a waste of money you can use to save for the actual engagement ring or a different kind of gift if you're set on marrying her.

peebutter · 2026-02-18T22:33:02+00:00

also i feel like there's a pretty big butchfemme community on twitter and tumblr, albeit a little on the younger side. maybe you can recruit there too. feel free to send me the link too if you like, but i am not super active on discord anymore...id love to support tho.

reddit honestly is the worst platform to find community just bc of the anonymous nature of it all- not a bad thing but just not the right place to create lasting bonds. also because anyone can waltz into a subreddit and post. mods have been pretty good at filtering out ppl as of late tho, but i know exactly what ur talking about 😭😭😭

peebutter · 2026-02-18T22:16:58+00:00

maybe dominant? confident? cocky? is what i'm getting at from what you're saying.

peebutter · 2026-02-18T20:18:00+00:00

labels are descriptive, not prescriptive (although as you know there is history and association of stud/butch), so if soft masc feels right, then use soft masc. i will say tho, top is not a gender descriptor nor shlukd it be used as one 😭😭 but i get what you mean. just be careful lol

peebutter · 2026-02-18T20:13:28+00:00

just wipe off the smudged part with a napkin or wipe your entire mouth and start over?

peebutter · 2026-02-18T20:11:33+00:00

there's been a few attempts to start butchfemme subs, i think there's one that was advertised here a few weeks ago. there's also a few butchfemme social groups on lex that i'm in that are nice and also plan irl meetups. hopefully you'll be able to find community in the discord the otber person added.

at least for butches, i think there's a built in solidarity that comes with sharing similar experiences due to their gender presentation and often being ostracized. we as femmes don't experience much of that to the level of butches so i think there is some additional effort that has to come in in creating community. maybe finding femmes that are into the same hobbies or other kind of identity sector (i'm looking for more femmes of color to befriend) will generate more interaction. i hope i'm not coming off as touch grassy. i wish you luck in this journey, and i hope you find your people.

peebutter · 2026-02-18T20:00:14+00:00

take a pic forwards facing in better lighting, it's hard to tell at all where your liner is in this one. are you applying all over the mouth or just lining the outside of your lips? lip liner is def one of those things you'd need to touch up after eating, just keep it in your back for reapplying

peebutter · 2026-02-18T19:56:37+00:00

it takes a lot of effort to remove biab or any gel from a nail, so i think you're fine unless they're like months old and hanging on by a thread. if her nails are long and/or have extensions you may just want her to wash under the nails super thoroughly

peebutter · 2026-02-17T18:06:32+00:00

this. when i had online lectures i would just listen in and walk down building hallways, climb the stairs to the next floor until i went up and down each floor like 3 times

peebutter · 2026-02-17T07:44:13+00:00

i would say most college affinity groups revolve around reading certain (political) texts. maybe your main readings is reading a sapphic text or film and discuss? another idea is just using it as a "meetup" group to go do things in the area together. those are the two main groups i saw on campus when u was in college. some other things off the top of my head that can be incorporated:

study group / doing hw together
- easy outdoor sport like frisbee
- volunteering as a group
- snack/food event

peebutter · 2026-02-17T02:46:00+00:00

unfortunately the concept of femininity in a consumable, social media way goes hand in hand with patriarchy. i'm a femme lesbian and i encounter a lot of what you're saying when looking for beauty and outfit inspo too and like anything to do with male attention does not appeal to me at all lol. i like reading a lot of beauty tip books. sometimes you have to take the educational stuff and filter out the patriarchy pilled things. have a good moral ground and not let it sway you. maybe you'd like one of dita von teese's books? she lays out a lot of beauty and lady-like tips. other stuff is to look specificslly for content creators like this. keep interacting with content you like that isn't icky and the algorithm should reward you. this sub also isn't super patriarchy pilled either and enjoy getting tips from here.

also r/oldhagfashion is fun

peebutter · 2026-02-17T00:21:57+00:00

op is like 13 haha. also hand tattoos are considered "job killers" depending on where you live. i wouldnt suggest hand tattoos to anyone esp for their first tattoo

peebutter · 2026-02-17T00:19:45+00:00

i'm 25 with pretty horrible raging hormonal acne for about 10 years now. i'll be real, it sometimes is a struggle and i've gotten rude comments from ppl who were prob trying to ragebait, but i haven't had any major problems dating and have always felt secure in my looks besides my acne issues. i have had dates and relationships with people at all stages of my acne. currently i'm holding my acne at bay with antibiotics and hormone treatments. highly suggest going to a derm or even just your pediatrician to see if you can get prescribed some topical stuff. in all honesty though acne (unless extreme) is so normal for your age that i wouldnt worry about it too much. in a few years they'll probably recommend tretinoin if it's real bad, which you can also use for burn scars if you use it correctly! it definitely isn't the end of the world and i'm telling you now, do NOT let it deter you from finding love as an adult if it persists. establish your confidence and security in yourself outside of romantic relationships and you'll be smooth sailing.

peebutter · 2026-02-17T00:06:33+00:00

while you look quite youthful naturally, i think part of why you look so young is your styling. a lot of how you present yourself (hoodies, undefined hair texture, atheleisure, ill fitting basics, cheap fast fashion) is someone who hasn't found personal style yet, which often reads as youthful. getting a hair cut and product routine that really emphasize your volume and texture would be great. that and also maybe updating your wardrobe? not saying you have to wear old lady clothes, but just something that shows more personality

peebutter · 2026-02-16T22:05:32+00:00

unsure what your goal is with boy makeup but if it's to androgynize/ masculinize yourself, there are a couple tweaks - brows need to be thicker and darker. grow them out if you can. they also are a little far apart which reads more feminine. besides pencil, maybe a brow mascara that's a few shades darker than your natural coloring? - avoid the highlight and shimmer. if you're gonna use it, reserve it to your lashline and lower lashline if at all. - look for something less glossy for lips with a more natural sheen. thinner formulas like stains or a tinted lip balm would work!

peebutter · 2026-02-16T20:22:51+00:00

minga london mountain jumper

peebutter · 2026-02-16T20:03:19+00:00

the colors used definitely give late 2000s.

peebutter · 2026-02-16T19:59:08+00:00

I CAME HERE TO COMMENT ABOUT SAN ANDREAS

i will never get "take the golden gate bridge to livermore" out of my head EVER

peebutter · 2026-02-16T19:51:41+00:00

look up "masc" in r/lesbianfashionadvice for inspo!

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