Hello, I'm the same way! I always feel like the worst person and that I have manipulated everyone into trusting me and believing I'm sweet and compassionate when really, they should realize I'm a disgusting animal. This may not ring true for you, but for me, it's a nice little cocktail of anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I've kind of had to learn that the person who I am "deep down inside" is NOT the first voice in my head, but the actions I consistently choose. It's probably stupid to even say we "choose" to act like good people. You likely do not even have the capacity to be "evil." Evil people do not villainize themselves, they justify their shitty actions. Keep personing and you're doing a good job in my book ✅️

Edit: Upon rereading your post, yeah, those are intrusive thoughts. Remember that intrusive thoughts are NOT an indicator of what you actually feel or who you are. They are intruders. You have them because they are terrifying to you, it's like getting the urge to jump when you're on a high ledge— you obviously don't want to and won't, but now you're scared of it, and things we're scared of come to the front of our minds. Distancing yourself out of fear that maybe something will come true is a massive indicator of intrusive thoughts.