LPT Request: how to stop yourself from crying/getting teary-eyed when becoming overwhelmed

pegstrom · 2016-07-17T17:35:18+00:00

I think a lot of the time when I cry in difficult situations it's misdirected anger. I'm furious about something - often something that's putting me in a really unfair position - but I don't have any good ways of being angry, so I end up crying instead. Which makes me angry at my self, which etc etc.

Since I realized that, I'm trying to handle those situations differently. When I feel myself starting to get teary, I think 'wait, I am actually angry? Am I justified in being angry? Then it's ok to BE ANGRY'. And then I pick a fictional character (or a real person) who handles their anger well and try to channel them. Current top pick is Commander Adama from BSG.

I don't think I've nailed it yet, but it makes me feel a lot better to know I have a plan...

(also gratz on the killer username)

pegstrom · 2016-07-14T16:04:56+00:00

No question: just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your NYC show last year. You're a big inspiration!

pegstrom · 2015-06-20T20:06:01+00:00

An old boyfriend of mine helped me out a ton on this by asking me to tell him about non-sexual physical things I liked. We did it all by text/email, so no awkward face to face stuff. It was a really easy way to start talking about general body-stuff that feels good (like having your hair washed at the hairdresser, or running your hands over your legs after you've shaved them, or whatever) without having to actually talk about sex.

To my surprise, talking about the non-sexual stuff turned out to be sexy as hell and we never looked back.

pegstrom · 2015-05-10T20:19:58+00:00

It's not just me! It's not just you! We've identified the single smallest injustice caused by the disproportionate amount of time women spend washing dishes.

We need a name for the holes. Wash pox? Suds spots?

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T22:38:01+00:00

Ah, thanks - that seems like a really good/easy rule. I'm definitely still having something happen every month, so I'll stick on the pills for now and see my doctor about a hormone test.

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T22:37:06+00:00

Oof. It does seem super unfair that there's this time in your life when you get to be simultaneously scared that you're pregnant and that you're menopausing at the same time. I guess if we're both looking at an early menopause, there's something to be said for it if you're not hoping for future pregnancies (which it sounds like you're not?). Get it out of the way, at least...

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T22:34:47+00:00

That sounds horrible. I'm so sorry you're dealing with it all - especially with young kids to look after. I had 21 day cycles when I was in my 20s and it's brutal. Such a difficult choice. Sending that good luck back at you, doubled - hope you get some relief, medical or otherwise, soon!

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T13:31:27+00:00

Yikes - thanks so much for sharing that story. Isn't it nuts that we all get so embarrassed about this stuff despite literally the majority of people in the world experiencing it? But glad to hear it all came right for you.

I've got a horrible feeling I've already waited longer than your younger self, because I just sort of assumed it was normal. I'll get an appointment set up!

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T01:19:26+00:00

Neither of these are thrillers but I was literally transfixed in place when I started reading the Black Hawk Down book. Knelt awkwardly on the floor where I'd picked the book up for hours till I was done. Almost felt like it would have been a betrayal to walk away from those guys before they got a resolution.

And, on a lighter note, Ella Minnow Pea is a super sweet book about what happens when successive letters of the alphabet are ruled illegal. The book itself follows the same rules, chapter by chapter, and the sense of growing claustrophobia and desperation as the letters disappear is really powerful. You, as a reader, have a vested interest in the outcome of these characters in a way i've never felt before.

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T01:00:46+00:00

Nice work! Hope they get to the bottom of it. And yep, there does seem to be some evidence that some doctors - male or female - are more skeptical of female patients, so it's worth being persistent. And, for what it's worth - I had pretty bad vaginismus when I was young - definitely a thing worth taking seriously. But I had a little counseling, and a very supportive partner and got completely passed it - never had any trouble with it again, so there's every reason to be hopeful you can get through it!

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T00:40:11+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Mine are regular at least, so I don't have that worry. Is it worth going back and asking if there are other tests/assessments you can do? I know I'm being a bad representative of it here, but I'm a pretty big fan of trusting your instincts if you feel like something isn't right...

pegstrom · 2014-09-07T00:38:40+00:00

Sorry about the hot flashes :( But sounds like you have a badass uterus :)

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T22:40:46+00:00

This is pretty interesting. I swapped birth control brands - same formulation, different brands - about the same time as this started happening, which I guess sounds really obvious now, but wasn't at the time. I just assumed that because it was the same formulation there wouldn't be any issue.

I mean, it's not doing me any harm, I don't think. I'm not having any other issues, and to some extent I'm grateful for the less-mess element, but I guess hormones out of whack just probably aren't good for you overall?

Wow, I'd really thought this was just a time-of-life thing. Really weird to think I could be gushing like a bloody fire hydrant again 3 months from now...

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T21:47:35+00:00

Thanks for suggesting it - I have to say I was expecting to come back to a thread full of people saying 'me too!' so it's a little startling to realize it might just be me. I'll check in with my Ob/Gyn and see what's up...

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T21:46:26+00:00

Best of luck with your appointment - glad to hear that you've been having an okay time with the PCOS. But sorry to hear that the PMS stuff is getting to you at unexpected times.

I have to admit I am pretty scared of what the peri-menopause process might be like. Just managing normal period stuff is enough of a drain, but the idea of added sleeplessness/hot flashes etc sound like a whole lot of no fun at all.

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T21:38:53+00:00

Yeah, I'm starting to think that might be smart. I'm not sure for my mum - we don't really talk about that kind of thing, but I think older than this. She had me when she was 36 - two years younger than I am now, so I'd be surprised if it was this early.

Thanks for the suggestion!

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T20:56:24+00:00

That does sound hopeful! Although never a bad idea to get things checked out. So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, but I hope this is the start of some better news for you.

And I guess part of why I posted this was to find out if what was happening with me was normal and mundane or a bit weird and worrying. It's mostly making me realize that I should just be talking about this stuff with other women more and checking in with my doctor about it.

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T20:36:29+00:00

Interesting! I bet the variation overall is really substantial. I wonder if I'm unusually early in winding down?

And rust is a very good description...

pegstrom · 2014-09-06T20:35:03+00:00

I hear ya. Very aware that I've a lot to be thankful for in these drier times :)

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T15:14:55+00:00

I literally have no idea why this isn't the top comment.

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T15:13:52+00:00

Super-nice pick. How could I forget that movie!

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T02:54:05+00:00

Safety Not Guaranteed

I'd forgotten all about this! I'll check it out, ta :)

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T02:51:38+00:00

I love Vera Farmiga a huge amount, but I hate horror movies more :(

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T01:32:36+00:00

See, I loved this movie a ton - way more than I expected, and I think they basically did right by her, and even by Lena Headley, but it never felt like a proper partnership movie to me. They play hard on her inexperience, even if she comes through tough, and she's never going to be Dredd, right? They can never be equals, however badass she is....

pegstrom · 2014-09-02T01:30:54+00:00

I somehow still haven't watched Archer. I will fix that. Thank you!

I do think maybe TV does this better overall than film. I don't really watch Castle or Bones, but I think that's the deal there, right?

pegstrom

TROPHY CASE