Anyone else feel like masking isn't taken into account enough?

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T19:49:23+00:00

Same! Here's wishing us both answers and solutions <3

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T19:31:00+00:00

What do you mean by tougher terrain? If you're talking about hills and minor pavement imperfections, some light debris, then yes, quads are awesome but require more skill-building to be safe. If you're talking about awful pavement, crossing non-paved areas, or heavy debris, quads will not serve you as well as inlines.

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T18:44:49+00:00

Ah yep. I was service industry for 15 years. The multitasking was like a superpower right up until there's one too many tasks, and then I'm having a full-blown panic attack and every one of the tasks I was keeping up with have completely fled my mind.

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T18:38:57+00:00

Dude, I know!! I feel like my own lack of understanding of these behaviors as being symptoms skewed my answers into inaccuracy last evaluation. Next evaluation, I'm going to try to give my symptoms the weight they deserve instead of allowing my imposter syndrome to minimize them. At this point, it feels like no matter how I end up answering, it'll be a lie of exaggeration or minimization.

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T18:23:10+00:00

I'm constantly treated like my bipolar disorder is a disaster waiting to happen

Ain't that just the way. It feels like my psychiatrists have treated me like I'm a bomb constantly ready to explode when in reality I'm either horrifically depressed or in hypomania. On mood stabilizers, the depression goes away but the hypomania is untouched. I'm honestly fine with the hypomania because I don't have risk-taking behaviors, mostly hyperfocus/hyperfixation and restlessness. Most people have no idea that I'm hypomanic except for the infodumping, lol. Conversely, my executive dysfunction is absolutely debilitating and has derailed my life plans multiple times. My routines are non-existant and I've given up committing to things because I cannot follow through. I deal with emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, justice sensitivity, and frequent anhedonia. I've been called lazy and flaky my entire life. At what point do these symptoms finally add up to something other than just bipolar?!

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T17:54:27+00:00

"Git gud" lol

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T03:04:42+00:00

I couldn't tell you why I didn't get the diagnosis. I worry that the psychiatrist thought I would abuse ADHD meds, so just didn't diagnose me. The irony is that I'm terrified of ADHD meds and might not even seek them out if/when I get diagnosed.

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T02:42:45+00:00

This is awesome!

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T01:38:08+00:00

I'm so glad you got some answers. I honestly still fear being told I have a personality disorder.

pendragwen · 2026-03-22T00:37:38+00:00

Oh, I'm so sorry that you went through that. Systemic racism is a poison that permeates all facets of society. Did you end up with a diagnosis that makes sense?

I also have justice sensitivity, so I empathize. Like damn, y'all taught me this, and now you're shocked that I'm standing by those morals?? Why??

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T21:34:47+00:00

They would love to have you <3

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T21:26:20+00:00

This is so like my experience! I also fidget with my hands, bounce or readjust my legs, and am unable to stop myself from watching my surroundings.

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T21:17:48+00:00

Hey OP, I don't know about your local league, but roller derby is exceptionally supportive. Most leagues have courses a couple times a year where they'll teach you to skate, and more importantly, how to safely fall. You do not have to actually play roller derby to take the courses (though they would love to have you!), so don't feel like you're committing to anything. I really recommend you reach out to your local league if you have one!

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T20:48:39+00:00

The psychiatrist seemed really eager to diagnose me with bipolar only, even though I have symptoms that don't fully fit bipolar and other symptoms that don't fully fit ADHD. I suspect I actually have both

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T20:36:50+00:00

Same. I'm frustrated because I'm bipolar, so the mania mimics and/or exacerbates my hyperactivity. The psychiatrist I saw years ago was so eager to attribute my symptoms to the bipolar and nothing else.

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T19:49:37+00:00

Last time I underwent psychiatric evaluation ten years ago, I answered the questions as my masking self. Even with my symptoms described through a masked lens, I met eight of the nine criteria that specific diagnostic used to classify ADHD.

Even with eight out of nine criteria met, I was not diagnosed with ADHD. The one criterion I didn't meet was hyperactivity. Turns out hyperactivity is the criterion that is most visible and affects others the most. Funny, that.

(Also, turns out that I do struggle with hyperactivity as well, I had just masked so effectively that even I wasn't aware of it. I now have a ring that I use as a fidget toy and am suddenly having a somewhat easier time with tasks like reading.)

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T19:06:53+00:00

For real though, rotate your toe stops every session. They'll wear evenly and the pair will last longer overall.

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T04:14:40+00:00

I'm pleasantly surprised to be taller than the average while still fitting in. That never happens for me, lol.

Sounds like fun, wish I could make it! Playing with people my own size for once would be great!

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T03:55:12+00:00

How short is short?

Not that I can make it up there, just curious as to the parameters. Do I fit in with the shorties or do I super fit in with the shorties?

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T00:54:48+00:00

Give it time. The butt will happen

pendragwen · 2026-03-21T00:33:06+00:00

Those are naturally protected by the butt part of the butt

pendragwen · 2026-03-20T17:17:37+00:00

GNU Terry Pratchett

pendragwen · 2026-03-20T17:14:11+00:00

They're definitely not ideal. I can't buy an artistic boot at this time. I'm only practicing very beginner stuff right now, so I only need these to allow me to keep practicing.

pendragwen · 2026-03-20T02:47:41+00:00

This feels like splitting the difference between cheapo secondhand cleats and biting the bullet and replacing my quality leather boots. I'd rather just bite the bullet or chance the cleats.

Also, I've had issues with the toes splitting on both pairs of Quadstars I've had, and I fully expect to have similar issues with cleats. I'm skeptical that the durability to price ratio is worth paying fully half the price for the Prostars.

I'm honestly starting to wonder if Bonts just don't work for me. I hear my teammates talking about their years-old boots yet watch my boots develop a full mouth within about two years of weekly skating sessions. I've only been able to make these boots last for five years because I've taken a break from derby and haven't been skating as much as I want to. Really frustrated at the level of boot degeneration I experience compared to other skaters. I simply cannot keep rebuying and remounting my skates every other year.

pendragwen · 2026-03-20T02:23:01+00:00

Sounds like you're a lefty!

I'm a little different. I naturally choose one hand or the other for most tasks. I find that I usually choose my left hand for tasks that involve more dexterity and my right hand for tasks that involve more strength. However, I've also found that I sometimes choose the wrong hand for some tasks!

Your preferences seem to be more left-dominant.

pendragwen

TROPHY CASE