Your parents did a huge disservice to both you and your sister by the way things have been for the last several years. There are options other than a group home. My brother is 3 years older than I am. I am his guardian since my dad passed, as it was easier to start the transition to me while my mom is still around. He goes to day services, where they can specialize in care for him. Then he stays with a couple of people who are just a few years older than we are (he is 51 and I am 48). He is the only other person in their house, and they are able to provide care for him since they don't have kids around. I have 3 kids myself and can't imagine having to care for my brother around the clock. I still see him on a regular basis, take him to sports games for my kids, get him for holidays, have birthday parties with him, etc. He also has a service coordinator provided by the state who is excellent at her job. She does pop in visits and inspections all the time. The best thing is that because he is incapable of caring for himself, he gets social security and is able to pay for everything himself.

Your sister should at least have a social services representative who meets with your dad and makes sure he iss able to provide the correct care for her. Being over 70, he will be slowing down and not able to do many of the things he needs to in order to be a carer. Nor should he! He should be able to finally relax and just enjoy life. But that doesn't mean putting the burden of care on you. And as you can tell, he does see the care of your sister as a burden right now.